Our Continuing Nerd Mission
So, still playing Star Trek Online. Admiral Hain reached max level, so I started playing a Tactical Officer instead - and wow, the game is so much easier when you can just vaporize everything you come across. Seriously, I no longer have to dodge and weave my way around enemies, playing dirty tricks - instead I just sidle up next to them, unleash a broadside barrage of phasers that make the Battle of Tanhauser Gate look like someone trying to light a match, and then send out a team to wipe the condensed starship vapor off the hull.
Also, when you reach Captain level, you get to fly this:
The USS Oberon, our beloved Nerdvana.
Technically you can modify the components to make it a little more personalized, but why would you? It's the goddamn Enterprise. You don't change that, you instead fly around in it constantly panning you camera so you can admire the nostalgic beauty from every possible angle. I'm reaching the end of the Captain levels soon and I really don't want to.
Oh, right, the Captain. He's a Bajoran tactical officer, which makes him hot-tempered with a tendency to blame things on evil spirits. His chief engineer is a spindly boy with an unfortunate case of derp-face brought on by my inability to use the character designer properly. The engineer's deputy is a genius Andorian with the most humongous breasts in the galaxy, brought on by my ability to push the bust size slider all the way to the top, laugh, and then forget to set it back before clicking Create.
We have a Vulcan medical officer who is quite possibly the most boring man in existence, and a Vulcan tactical officer who eschews phasers in favour of beating Klingons to death with an enormous stick. She is also seven feet tall.
I don't know what it is about me that forces me to create starship crews that have more in common with the Island of Misfit Toys than Star Trek, but there you have it.
Also, here is a picture of the crew of the USS Oberon watching a Klingon Dahar Master beat the ever-living shit out of a pile of tribbles, using his bare hands. I like to think Admiral Hain assigns them to these missions because she recognizes a kindred spirit when she sees one.
Also, when you reach Captain level, you get to fly this:
The USS Oberon, our beloved Nerdvana.
Technically you can modify the components to make it a little more personalized, but why would you? It's the goddamn Enterprise. You don't change that, you instead fly around in it constantly panning you camera so you can admire the nostalgic beauty from every possible angle. I'm reaching the end of the Captain levels soon and I really don't want to.
Oh, right, the Captain. He's a Bajoran tactical officer, which makes him hot-tempered with a tendency to blame things on evil spirits. His chief engineer is a spindly boy with an unfortunate case of derp-face brought on by my inability to use the character designer properly. The engineer's deputy is a genius Andorian with the most humongous breasts in the galaxy, brought on by my ability to push the bust size slider all the way to the top, laugh, and then forget to set it back before clicking Create.
We have a Vulcan medical officer who is quite possibly the most boring man in existence, and a Vulcan tactical officer who eschews phasers in favour of beating Klingons to death with an enormous stick. She is also seven feet tall.
I don't know what it is about me that forces me to create starship crews that have more in common with the Island of Misfit Toys than Star Trek, but there you have it.
Also, here is a picture of the crew of the USS Oberon watching a Klingon Dahar Master beat the ever-living shit out of a pile of tribbles, using his bare hands. I like to think Admiral Hain assigns them to these missions because she recognizes a kindred spirit when she sees one.
