(no subject)
I feel like I should feel something, when I don't. Or not any more or less than usual. Maybe because I never really attach because I always wait for people to disappear on schedule or at random, maybe because I've been saying goodbyes months in advance for years. I didn't really cry when my grandmother died because I had done my crying five years before. But then I also cried again six months late. So maybe it's all just on time delay.
The strongest thing I felt at all that night was brought on by seeing (or thinking I was seeing) Mei Gao in the audience. No one ever told me why she left in the middle of last year, and I wish I had asked more. I want to write a story for her now, or really for me to deal with regret tied up in her. Funerals are for the living.
To close:
Anthony walked to his death because he thought he'd never feel this way again
If he goes back to the house then things would go from bad to worse, what could he do?
He wants to remember things exactly as he left them on that Wednesday
And if there is something else beyond, he isn't scared because
It's bound to be less boring than today
It's bound to be less boring than tomorrow
The strongest thing I felt at all that night was brought on by seeing (or thinking I was seeing) Mei Gao in the audience. No one ever told me why she left in the middle of last year, and I wish I had asked more. I want to write a story for her now, or really for me to deal with regret tied up in her. Funerals are for the living.
To close:
Anthony walked to his death because he thought he'd never feel this way again
If he goes back to the house then things would go from bad to worse, what could he do?
He wants to remember things exactly as he left them on that Wednesday
And if there is something else beyond, he isn't scared because
It's bound to be less boring than today
It's bound to be less boring than tomorrow