More feels: Mood swings.
So I was all chuffed about winning that contest and spent much of the afternoon feeling pretty happy about that.
They like me! They really like me!
Until a brief mention of a Valentine's day gesture between my married-for-43-years parents.
I sighed, mom asked why, and I said, well, for you, you get a sweet little gesture from your husband of many years. For me, it is ten years. Today. And I try not to think about it too much, I said, but ...
And then the floor more or less dropped out. Well, not completely, I was able to get through dinner without breaking, but I had to shake off attempts of comfort, even our usual affectionate hugs, because .. I just can't. I knew I would lose it.
I have managed to avoid totally breaking down only because I needed to busy myself packing for my trip. Sometimes letting out the tears but not losing myself to them. I suspect it is going to be a long night.
From high to such a low in a matter of hours. Crazy mood swings, anyone? And Nope, it's not my period, nope, I've not messed up my antidepressant.
And my happy sense of achievement? Gone. It tastes like ashes now.
This is all because of Valentine's Day.
I. Fucking. Hate. Valentine's. Day.
With the burning of a thousand suns.
They like me! They really like me!
Until a brief mention of a Valentine's day gesture between my married-for-43-years parents.
I sighed, mom asked why, and I said, well, for you, you get a sweet little gesture from your husband of many years. For me, it is ten years. Today. And I try not to think about it too much, I said, but ...
And then the floor more or less dropped out. Well, not completely, I was able to get through dinner without breaking, but I had to shake off attempts of comfort, even our usual affectionate hugs, because .. I just can't. I knew I would lose it.
I have managed to avoid totally breaking down only because I needed to busy myself packing for my trip. Sometimes letting out the tears but not losing myself to them. I suspect it is going to be a long night.
From high to such a low in a matter of hours. Crazy mood swings, anyone? And Nope, it's not my period, nope, I've not messed up my antidepressant.
And my happy sense of achievement? Gone. It tastes like ashes now.
This is all because of Valentine's Day.
I. Fucking. Hate. Valentine's. Day.
With the burning of a thousand suns.