musings
Soooo... I may be ending up paying someone to write custom smutty porny fanfic for me. Because my occasionally-cracky, crossover inclined brain comes up with pairings, to say nothing of specific scenarios that noone, AFAIK, has come up with before.
I feel.... maybe a bit special, in that I have managed to dream up something noone else has?
But the paying someone to write porn for me thing... I don't know how I feel. Not negative, certainly. Empowered? Resigned to my lack of creative writing skills?
Wishing I actually had a love/sex life because if I were getting laid I might not need to do this?
Well I always wish I had a love/sex life, anyway.. but I suspect if I had come to Loki fandom while in a relationship, I would still be interested in having this written. Just perhaps less invested in it, maybe I wouldn't go through with it.
Anyway I suspect if the writer and I can come to an agreement and this actually happens.... is it silly that I think "Commissioning someone to write porn for you" constitutes some kind of milestone in life?
Because the custom clothing pieces I've had done for me, it's more a question of here's a pattern, and customizing really being about fitting... okay, yeah, with some artistic input in terms of fabric.. but it's more like the time when I commissioned T to make me a silver pendant. Only less expensive and not so much a concrete object. And not so quasi-spiritual and I suspect if she were to hear me making the comparison she would be not very amused but maybe i'm wrong there.
Did I mention I haven't been to sleep yet and clearly am having tiredness logorrhea? Yeah.
I feel.... maybe a bit special, in that I have managed to dream up something noone else has?
But the paying someone to write porn for me thing... I don't know how I feel. Not negative, certainly. Empowered? Resigned to my lack of creative writing skills?
Wishing I actually had a love/sex life because if I were getting laid I might not need to do this?
Well I always wish I had a love/sex life, anyway.. but I suspect if I had come to Loki fandom while in a relationship, I would still be interested in having this written. Just perhaps less invested in it, maybe I wouldn't go through with it.
Anyway I suspect if the writer and I can come to an agreement and this actually happens.... is it silly that I think "Commissioning someone to write porn for you" constitutes some kind of milestone in life?
Because the custom clothing pieces I've had done for me, it's more a question of here's a pattern, and customizing really being about fitting... okay, yeah, with some artistic input in terms of fabric.. but it's more like the time when I commissioned T to make me a silver pendant. Only less expensive and not so much a concrete object. And not so quasi-spiritual and I suspect if she were to hear me making the comparison she would be not very amused but maybe i'm wrong there.
Did I mention I haven't been to sleep yet and clearly am having tiredness logorrhea? Yeah.