My shower wants me dead
So, I moved into a new apartment this summer. It's just a sublet, we're moving out by August. And thank god too because I think my shower wants me dead. Let me describe this shower. First, the water pressure sucks. Second, the construction of the shower sucks. There are 3, count them 3, knobs for this shower. That's right. A knob for the hot water, a knob for the cold water, and a knob to switch from tub to shower. Furthermore, none of these knobs are labeled. Nor do any of the knobs turn the same way. That's not possible you say? I assure you, it is possible.
But that's not all. You can't just turn the hot knob and have a nice, warm shower. No, you turn the hot knob at all you have a scalding hot shower. So you have to turn the cold knob as well. For a few minutes this works, you have a temperate shower. However, then the shower gets bored and decides to fuck with you a little bit. So it decides to intertwine bursts of scalding water with bursts of freezing water, with about 5 seconds of temperate water in between. So you're showering up, la de da, and all of a sudden you're violently assautled by the shower. So you have to jump out of the way, and you end up doing this hokey pokey like dance in the very wet, slippery shower.
So, when you're sick of the hokey pokey, you have to turn the shower off, which is an adventure in and of itself. So like I said, the knobs all turn different directions and aren't labeled, so I generally end up turning one side completely off while blasting the other. I like to see it as the showers parting gift as I frantically turn the other direction, while the water is either scalding me or freezing me.
So, if I live past these next two months, I will see this as a victory over my shower. We are currently locked in a vicious struggle for domination. I don't know if I'm winning.
But that's not all. You can't just turn the hot knob and have a nice, warm shower. No, you turn the hot knob at all you have a scalding hot shower. So you have to turn the cold knob as well. For a few minutes this works, you have a temperate shower. However, then the shower gets bored and decides to fuck with you a little bit. So it decides to intertwine bursts of scalding water with bursts of freezing water, with about 5 seconds of temperate water in between. So you're showering up, la de da, and all of a sudden you're violently assautled by the shower. So you have to jump out of the way, and you end up doing this hokey pokey like dance in the very wet, slippery shower.
So, when you're sick of the hokey pokey, you have to turn the shower off, which is an adventure in and of itself. So like I said, the knobs all turn different directions and aren't labeled, so I generally end up turning one side completely off while blasting the other. I like to see it as the showers parting gift as I frantically turn the other direction, while the water is either scalding me or freezing me.
So, if I live past these next two months, I will see this as a victory over my shower. We are currently locked in a vicious struggle for domination. I don't know if I'm winning.