One day at a time
I played some mini golf on Friday with 'The Crew,' which consists of a few friends from long in my past and some people that have joined their group in the meantime. They are all incredibly cool people and very welcoming, yet I can't help but feel like a complete outsider. We've not been in each other's lives for so long and their humorous references are foreign to me. I've been living under a rock for so long that their political and pop culture references are also lost on me.
Last night I visited with a couple of different friends from long in my past. They chatted easily and I felt like an outsider again. They spent some years in contact since I disappeared from their lives nine or ten years ago. I had nothing to offer up for the conversation and felt like running ten minutes after arriving. I miss the closeness I used to feel with them. People change, I guess, and karma's giving me a swift kick in the ass for my lack of communication over the years. I deserve every ounce of pain that I'm feeling now, I'm sure.
My anxieties linger heavily when I'm in any social situation, and I get lost in my head. I feel as if I'm trapped inside of a solid metal box, my voice and my fears echoing right back to me over and over.
Last night I visited with a couple of different friends from long in my past. They chatted easily and I felt like an outsider again. They spent some years in contact since I disappeared from their lives nine or ten years ago. I had nothing to offer up for the conversation and felt like running ten minutes after arriving. I miss the closeness I used to feel with them. People change, I guess, and karma's giving me a swift kick in the ass for my lack of communication over the years. I deserve every ounce of pain that I'm feeling now, I'm sure.
My anxieties linger heavily when I'm in any social situation, and I get lost in my head. I feel as if I'm trapped inside of a solid metal box, my voice and my fears echoing right back to me over and over.