two stores opened today a book store and something calling itself a mercantile. Before I went I detoured to the coffee shop which wasn't a great choice because in walks one of the Maga idiots with a t-shirt Jesus Won (I don't know about you but around here many Trump signs also included so Jesus can win). It was all I could do to not ask him ( ( Read more... )

I will be going to a cabin in the woods Mon/Tues so if I'm not around don't worry. I wish I wasn't dreading this. It should be fun. Not surprisingly the depression is awful and also today it's been raining for 14 hours straight so it'll be a fun muddy hike. Eye roll ( Read more... )

So I had a distraction from this fear and depression but I don't. At least I managed to get the Halloween village down and I got some leaves waxed (I have an art project in mind for over a year. I collected leaves last year and then didn't do it. This year at least I got the leaves waxed ( Read more... )

And I'm not alone. Even Sesame Street put out a meme on social media today saying it's okay to be anxious. Maybe so, Grover but it sure feels like hell. It's the 'there's nothing I can do' part of it that I can't get past. I'm sure that's true of a lot of Americans going into tomorrow. I mean yes I voted already and there's nothing more I can do ( Read more... )

Since it's not a happy thing. Even though my uncle's MRI was last week he's not being seen until a full month afterward. However today he is falling and unable to use his left side of his body. I don't think we need the MRI to know the glioblastoma is back ( Read more... )

I got through the final file box today but in it was a) my medical licenses b) all my malpractice stuff c) my first teaching job's pay scale paperwork d) the source of my worst few years of life e) the lawsuit over my hand ( Read more... )

The depression that is. When I'm staying in bed for 8-10 hours, it's a bad sign. Worse sign it's 1 pm and I'm still in pajamas, having done nothing but drink a cup of tea (and I mean nothing, no writing, editing, or anything I'm meant to be doing) Nothing is getting cleaned, no work on the project is getting done (or very little I should say) ( Read more... )

In addition to more family drama I don't want to get into, yet another school shooting to feel helpless about, the mafia horror story I was shortlisted for didn't make it. (Obviously not equally weighted things here ( Read more... )

It was supposed to go this way: 1. see the vascular surgeon 2. have them move me to one visit a year instead of two. 3. know I'm kidding myself because of the claudication symptoms. (pain and numbness in my leg with exercise, gets better with rest ( Read more... )

Otherwise known as the fuck cancer addition ( Read more... )