Well, almost a year later
Here I am again.
Seriously, my last post was shortly after Vegas. What has happened since then... in a nutshell, the reset button was hit.
September, in a continuing spiral of despair that I had no other friends or a social outlet, I started hashing (a drinking club with a running problem). This has proven to be a blessing and a curse which will be explained later.
October, Jess and I split, for the second time, and looking back on it now it was a hasty decision to say the least. My absurd loneliness was not on his shoulders, just accentuated by his social happiness compared to my lack thereof. If that makes any sense. All of my friends were now his friends, and definitely more his friends than mine due to the manly-man thing and the similar-interest thing. Feeling like you've lost everything, and the ability to enjoy life really takes a lot out of you. :(
January, Jess moves out. The big-ass house is all mine, and I do very little with it other than adding a pool table to the great room. Slowly started realizing that buying a larger house was stupid as shit since I'm having extreme trouble selling/renting the other one, driving me into debt.
April I want to say is when Luke moved into the extra bedroom. I should theoretically have 2 extra bedrooms but my 3rd room is packed with costuming stuff and now a pullout couch. Bought a new car after Zip-Whiz kicks the bucket after a rather eventful weekend in Savannah.
So it's July now, and in August Luke moves to Augusta, GA for Captain's Career Course, for 4 or 5 months. My new car got totalled by a drunk driver while it was parked outside a party on July 4th. There's fireworks for ya...
What else... what else... I haven't been to a rave in a long time. Feels like forever. I miss it, but I hate driving up and back alone after the incident at Deadmau5. Never felt so vulnerable in my life. But while raving with others I felt like I was dragging them up there with me, and couldn't bring myself to believe that they were having fun. The idea that I was constantly forcing people to branch out was irksome and took away a lot of my fun. As usual, I have a hard time separating my fun from others' and just concentrating on having a good time myself. I care too much about making sure *everyone* is having a good time. What does that say about me? I don't know.
Oh yeah!
Hashing: the blessing and the curse. The group is wide and varied. There are some who are more there for drinking, and some more there for running. People from all walks of life and from varying levels of athleticism. I am, of course, out of shape and falling apart at the knees (literally). While most of the group is very open and accepting, I've had problems in the past with being mocked for my proneness to injury and my overall speed. I'm usually DFL (Dead Fucking Last) because my knees simply can't take that long of trail and my cardio is awful. I really hope after I get my knee surgery that my cardio can improve. It is just difficult to work on cardio (endurance over time) when my knees start screaming after 20 minutes.
Blessing: I have more friends now, and having multiple groups of friends has been very beneficial and has allowed me to put more of my life in perspective. I now have female friends, and it feels like a second family. I eat dinner with them, I go to bars with them, I party with them, I run with them. We are a pack. Well, the ones that like me that is. :S
Curse: the past few months have accelerated the destruction of my kneecaps and surrounding knee tissue, resulting in an immediate need for surgery. Also, a romantic relationship with a hasher has recently stopped (not my choice) and I feel a bit lost at sea. Though now I am finding out more torrid details of his past and I *really* should have listened to other hashers who have known him for longer. I was warned of his duplicity and self-serving attitude but couldn't bring myself to believe it. Until it happened to me. I guess that's what all the girls say when the double-cross goes down. I'd put a "LOL" here but I'm not really laughing.
So where am I now?
I'm painfully single, a lead engineer at work now, owning 2 houses and successfully (FINALLY) renting my 2nd house, looking for a new (new) car. Currently sitting at my house, trying to make a Mario costume for Dragon*Con 2010 which will hopefully be much happier than 2009.
This entry has gotten pretty long. I'll pick up the details of my life currently in the next post. Wonder if anyone will read this. It's been 7 forevers since anyone else on my friends' list has posted either.
- Cor
Seriously, my last post was shortly after Vegas. What has happened since then... in a nutshell, the reset button was hit.
September, in a continuing spiral of despair that I had no other friends or a social outlet, I started hashing (a drinking club with a running problem). This has proven to be a blessing and a curse which will be explained later.
October, Jess and I split, for the second time, and looking back on it now it was a hasty decision to say the least. My absurd loneliness was not on his shoulders, just accentuated by his social happiness compared to my lack thereof. If that makes any sense. All of my friends were now his friends, and definitely more his friends than mine due to the manly-man thing and the similar-interest thing. Feeling like you've lost everything, and the ability to enjoy life really takes a lot out of you. :(
January, Jess moves out. The big-ass house is all mine, and I do very little with it other than adding a pool table to the great room. Slowly started realizing that buying a larger house was stupid as shit since I'm having extreme trouble selling/renting the other one, driving me into debt.
April I want to say is when Luke moved into the extra bedroom. I should theoretically have 2 extra bedrooms but my 3rd room is packed with costuming stuff and now a pullout couch. Bought a new car after Zip-Whiz kicks the bucket after a rather eventful weekend in Savannah.
So it's July now, and in August Luke moves to Augusta, GA for Captain's Career Course, for 4 or 5 months. My new car got totalled by a drunk driver while it was parked outside a party on July 4th. There's fireworks for ya...
What else... what else... I haven't been to a rave in a long time. Feels like forever. I miss it, but I hate driving up and back alone after the incident at Deadmau5. Never felt so vulnerable in my life. But while raving with others I felt like I was dragging them up there with me, and couldn't bring myself to believe that they were having fun. The idea that I was constantly forcing people to branch out was irksome and took away a lot of my fun. As usual, I have a hard time separating my fun from others' and just concentrating on having a good time myself. I care too much about making sure *everyone* is having a good time. What does that say about me? I don't know.
Oh yeah!
Hashing: the blessing and the curse. The group is wide and varied. There are some who are more there for drinking, and some more there for running. People from all walks of life and from varying levels of athleticism. I am, of course, out of shape and falling apart at the knees (literally). While most of the group is very open and accepting, I've had problems in the past with being mocked for my proneness to injury and my overall speed. I'm usually DFL (Dead Fucking Last) because my knees simply can't take that long of trail and my cardio is awful. I really hope after I get my knee surgery that my cardio can improve. It is just difficult to work on cardio (endurance over time) when my knees start screaming after 20 minutes.
Blessing: I have more friends now, and having multiple groups of friends has been very beneficial and has allowed me to put more of my life in perspective. I now have female friends, and it feels like a second family. I eat dinner with them, I go to bars with them, I party with them, I run with them. We are a pack. Well, the ones that like me that is. :S
Curse: the past few months have accelerated the destruction of my kneecaps and surrounding knee tissue, resulting in an immediate need for surgery. Also, a romantic relationship with a hasher has recently stopped (not my choice) and I feel a bit lost at sea. Though now I am finding out more torrid details of his past and I *really* should have listened to other hashers who have known him for longer. I was warned of his duplicity and self-serving attitude but couldn't bring myself to believe it. Until it happened to me. I guess that's what all the girls say when the double-cross goes down. I'd put a "LOL" here but I'm not really laughing.
So where am I now?
I'm painfully single, a lead engineer at work now, owning 2 houses and successfully (FINALLY) renting my 2nd house, looking for a new (new) car. Currently sitting at my house, trying to make a Mario costume for Dragon*Con 2010 which will hopefully be much happier than 2009.
This entry has gotten pretty long. I'll pick up the details of my life currently in the next post. Wonder if anyone will read this. It's been 7 forevers since anyone else on my friends' list has posted either.
- Cor