Smashing.
Life goes, I try to go with it. Judges are reviewing how well I'm doing.
Lately I just can't seem to get things right no matter what I do. It's frustrating and depressing and yet, the next day comes with new hopes and better promises, we fall and we stand up again. Have to admit though, sometimes I really have trouble standing up again. I guess that's true of everyone though huh?
BYM's coming up and I'm trying to decide if I'm looking forward to it or not. To be honest it's my one time to spend real time away from this place all year, work and school don't give me much opportunity and money's tight. I think I might be unfairly burdening it with being something more than it can be, but I can't help but feel disappointed year in and year out. It always feels like something's missing, but I'm not quite sure what, and I'm not quite sure if it's the community's lack, or my lack, or both. Thinking about such things without brooding proves difficult. Chinese curses seem to fit my life too well.
Lately I just can't seem to get things right no matter what I do. It's frustrating and depressing and yet, the next day comes with new hopes and better promises, we fall and we stand up again. Have to admit though, sometimes I really have trouble standing up again. I guess that's true of everyone though huh?
BYM's coming up and I'm trying to decide if I'm looking forward to it or not. To be honest it's my one time to spend real time away from this place all year, work and school don't give me much opportunity and money's tight. I think I might be unfairly burdening it with being something more than it can be, but I can't help but feel disappointed year in and year out. It always feels like something's missing, but I'm not quite sure what, and I'm not quite sure if it's the community's lack, or my lack, or both. Thinking about such things without brooding proves difficult. Chinese curses seem to fit my life too well.