ROUGH DRAFT.
You know I am more than I claim to be. Sometimes I get the feeling that I am too, but my insecurities always get the best of me and shove me into a dark corner to fester in self-pity and bad decisions.
In this corner however, is a glimmer of hope that is often misjudged and misused. It is the ability to care unconditionally. Unfortunately this is perceived negatively as one of the following: an invitation for flirtatious behavior and temptation; a means to release bitter emotions such as ambivalent anger or unresolved emotional trauma; a cause for distrust and/or lack of loyalty; an unnecessary personality trait, all of which are topped off by a reason to remain unhappy with myself.
With an increased focus on others it becomes difficult to address the important things such as one's own life. "You will never be on top of the world if you try to carry it on your shoulders" rings true as any hope for prosperity is dampened when an individual's focus lies only in the benefit of others.
The Catch 22 behind this trait is that although the happiness of others makes me happy, my own unhappiness is merely masked by their fascination towards someone so completely broken. The life lived is a facade and a joke because if the goal is true happiness, an obvious contradictory opinion of oneself cancels out the possibility of ever being able to achieve such a feat.
In this corner however, is a glimmer of hope that is often misjudged and misused. It is the ability to care unconditionally. Unfortunately this is perceived negatively as one of the following: an invitation for flirtatious behavior and temptation; a means to release bitter emotions such as ambivalent anger or unresolved emotional trauma; a cause for distrust and/or lack of loyalty; an unnecessary personality trait, all of which are topped off by a reason to remain unhappy with myself.
With an increased focus on others it becomes difficult to address the important things such as one's own life. "You will never be on top of the world if you try to carry it on your shoulders" rings true as any hope for prosperity is dampened when an individual's focus lies only in the benefit of others.
The Catch 22 behind this trait is that although the happiness of others makes me happy, my own unhappiness is merely masked by their fascination towards someone so completely broken. The life lived is a facade and a joke because if the goal is true happiness, an obvious contradictory opinion of oneself cancels out the possibility of ever being able to achieve such a feat.