[Adstringendum Call-Out Post]
[This is the post where, if your character and Sango are set up for a conversation/offline and no immediate post or log is available, we can play out said interactions. Just slap up a comment with offline/type of media and perhaps a date, and go go go!]
[A boy that is both Rin and Kohaku, and the parallels kill her. The only difference is that she's too busy needing Kohaku to need Rin the way he needs her.]
[Rin, of course, would be so much easier to prioritize. Yes, he has his own baggage, but he's someone that Sango is actually allowed to hug and smile and reminisce with, unlike Kohaku. She would be so much happier in general if she could just let go of Kohaku.]
[But she can't, because he's Kohaku, because he is her brother, and Rin, as much one as he might be, is not. That is how it is, always has been, and always will be.]
[But for now, she doesn't mind. Because though he's not Kohaku, she does care about him. And she does know, instinct and all, that he needs it desperately. He needs her. In a way that's physical and tangible, in a way that she can actually rise to meet... unlike with Kohaku.]
[It's nice to be needed, when being needed doesn't mean having to give everything you have and accomplish the impossible.]
Reply
Though the reality haunted Rin, he knew he would have never been able to find this sort of support through Yukio, even if he'd cried countless times in front of his sibling for serious and silly reasons. Hell he was pretty sure even if he felt no discomfort with crying in front of strangers, he wouldn't have been able to get the sympathy Sango was showing.
And he didn't even ask for it. He didn't ask her to do any of the things she kept doing. It was frustrating beyond all reason, and it made him want to scream. Why did she have to say and do so many things that bordered the level of compassion his father had given him his whole life? Ignoring that he was the son of the demon god of gehenna, or freaking Lucifer here. Ignoring his blue flames, and charging after him when he'd lost control. Helping him and Yukio reach peace with each other. She'd done so much and they hadn't known each other more than a few months.
Rin had felt his back aching from bending down though, so without a word he sits himself on the edge of Sango's bed. Their embrace was much less strained this time, his arms able to fully wrap around her without pulling at the bandages he knew covered her torso, and she no longer had to reach upward to him. It was astonishing, despite how well toned Sango was, that she felt so small when they were like this. Rin kept a stern frown, trying to keep himself from vocalizing his continued frustration.
Maybe she would never need him like he needed her, and maybe she would never understand how deeply her actions had penetrated through Rin's barriers, but the fact that he hadn't pushed her back by now was evidence enough. That he'd come to see her as more than a friend in this strange universe and more like the family he no longer had. ]
Reply
[He's never gotten to the point where he's felt the need to kill the center of his world simply to put said person out of their misery, planning to follow in those footsteps himself.]
[Maybe she's stronger, maybe she isn't. But she is the one with the ability to access that strength, simply because fate has forced her hand before. But being able to draw on that strength has its price tag, and it isn't cheap. Everything she's been through in Adstring, it's a piece of cake compared to home; she has strength to spare. And if she can prevent others from having to pay its price by lending them some of hers, then she's all too happy to give and give and give. She's already paid for her virtue (her curse)--she might as well make use of the purchase.]
[She's grateful for the relief as he sits, giving him one last quick squeeze with her good arm before letting go and reaching to ruffle his hair (like she would Kohaku's).]
There. You looked like you needed that.
Reply
And there were somethings he just didn't feel the need to know.
Rin looks up and rests his chin against her shoulder now, she may have let go but he's hanging there. He'd let her ruffle his hair, far to groggy to protest to such a childish notion. If it were his father who did that to him, even in a moment like this, he would have pitched a fit. Which may have been the reason he didn't say anything against it when Sango did so.
He'd sniff the starts of what he knew was a runny nose, and blink slowly before finally letting go. He sits back and wipes the tear stained sides of his face. Any other person might have been embarrassed about the scene. Yet Rin couldn't help the feeling of guilt lessen slightly after just letting it out.
His tears wouldn't bring back his father, his brother, the parts of the city he destroyed, nor heal the injuries of those he'd hurt, and he knew that. Though they probably were the only way he knew how to relieve the stress that had built up from it all.]
... I guess you're right.
Reply
[Her smile doesn't seem forced, but genuine as he leans his chin on her. With nearly anyone else, it would seem awkward, strange, uncomfortable--but to her it feels like there's absolutely nothing wrong with this picture. Even Inuyasha, Naruto, or Riku would get strange looks performing the same action--but to her, Rin isn't so much a boy as he is... well... Rin. And on that same note--he's Rin. It's expected of him.]
[In fact, she's tired enough to just give in and lean her head against his.]
Mm?
Reply
That was the way he looked at it....
When she leans her head against his Rin can't help the way his frown deepens. He still felt a lot of pain for losing his family. Sango had been the only one he'd opened up to about it, everyone else he'd blown off. She was the one person he trusted completely, and he'd beaten her to hell and back. He was the worst, yet even with feeling like that he didn't want to move away and break their connection.
Because somehow, he just felt 'safe' beside her. She didn't judge him for what he was, she forgave him for his mistakes, and scolded him so he wouldn't repeat them. Sango was quickly becoming the balance he didn't know he needed... ]
That, I needed... I don't know how to word it. [ His voice is breaking, his throat sore from the crying and yelling he'd just done. ]
This. or something. [ Rin wanted to hold onto Sango again, but for fear of jostling her, he'd settle for twisting his fingers into the blanket covering her. ]
Reply
[But there would be admiration, too. Because he is the one who is able to get up and smile and be genuinely happy day after day, and Sango lets herself be consumed in the aftermath. He is the one who's whole despite the multitude of cracks around the edges, and she is the one pieced together with crazy glue.]
[And had she known how important she was becoming in his eyes, Rin would see happiness--she'd be flattered--quickly followed by panic. She can't be his everything, because she's already someone else's. She's always been someone else's. And it's not fair to make him second best if he puts all he has into her. She can't live up to that standard, not now. She can't be the everything of someone she can't protect, someone she has to put second.]
[Because (and the fact always mocks her) Kohaku always]
[comes]
[first.]
[Most girls wouldn't want to be anywhere near Rin after what had happened. Sango doesn't flinch at a single thing he does. She is not fearless, far from it, but pain is not one of the things she fears. Death is not something she fears. Rin spiraling out of control--perhaps it is something to fear, but if she fears it, it is for his sake and not hers. If she hesitates to touch him it is because of her own tendency to avoid touch, not because of anything he's done or because he's scary or something. The thought of Rin being scary is--somewhat ridiculous, actually, at least when he's wearing a silly smile or cooking something on the stove.]
[Even when he's angry, or putting himself back together. He's not scary, he's just Rin. (Perhaps it's quite the simplistic way to think about it--perhaps that's something she picked up from him.) Stubborn and stupid and sweet and ridiculous and aggravating and a little rough around the edges, yes; Rin. If she was any less exhausted, she'd be wondering exactly when this boy transitioned from a Rin to the Rin, from boy to something like a brother but not quite the same and more and less all at the same time; wondering when he gained the power to transcend all boundaries and just be, at least to her.]
[The smile turns just the tiniest trace amused.]
Come on. If I have to smile, you should too.
Reply
Leave a comment