(no subject)
maybe i'm just not in the right state of mind, but. i've just tried like five times to figure out how to convey what it is i want to. and it hasn't worked at all. i don't know. it just makes me ache to know that kayli probably never really understood me at all. as close as we were and as much time as we spent together. she can still make these decisions about like... what kind of a person i am now or where i'm at in my life without knowing a damn thing about me. i think that it's like.. a pretty well known fact that i'm really insecure & scared and god knows what else. but i also like... i don't know. i never lost my hunger. for life and learning and just anything. as much as im depressed and as much as i hate i still love. i don't know how much sense that makes. i might try to clarify later. just. fuck.
chelsea and kyle are sleeping in my room and i have to go in there to sleep too. eh.
i went to james' tonight and hung out with him and lindsey. and leah & kyle and chels. we played pictionary again. i hardly drank at all but got pretty drunk. it's pretty much worn off now though i guess. i ripped my new skirt on accident and had to borrow lindsey's pants. that was upsetting. it was a fun night though.. once we got there. lindsey and i played cards again. i am the worst ever at egyptian ratscrew.
i have to wake up early tomorrow. damn.
chelsea and kyle are sleeping in my room and i have to go in there to sleep too. eh.
i went to james' tonight and hung out with him and lindsey. and leah & kyle and chels. we played pictionary again. i hardly drank at all but got pretty drunk. it's pretty much worn off now though i guess. i ripped my new skirt on accident and had to borrow lindsey's pants. that was upsetting. it was a fun night though.. once we got there. lindsey and i played cards again. i am the worst ever at egyptian ratscrew.
i have to wake up early tomorrow. damn.