Oversensitive, and maybe that's what's needed
You know when you have a correspondence with someone new, say, a doctor, a client, a teacher, and you register a fleeting feeling of discomfort? Perhaps over a word choice, or an inference? There's nothing that seems outright wrong with the note or email or phone conversation, but you scratch your head all the same, and wonder why you're sensing that all is not going to be well? Then you convince yourself you were imagining it, and you're hypersensitive regarding whatever word/topic/comment upset you? Yeah. You know what? Listen to yourself.
Went to open house at Shrek's new school tonight.
We're so lucky in that he is loving it, and a friend of mine is going to be his occupational therapist and she already has all these great ideas, and we spent an hour with his special ed teacher, talking about how he likes to learn, and what works and doesn't, and came away very comfortable with her.
Then we went to the regular classroom.
It's odd this year that he is back in self-contained and only going to the big classroom for lunch, recess and specials: music, art, gym, library and computers. So we head to the big classroom, just to get the layout and meet the teacher, since he's not doing any academic work in there. I don't really listen as she goes on about the curriculum, and anyway, she seems more interested in letting us know how long her morning drive to work is, and how frazzled she can be and how she's sometimes late and if you're not going to come to extra help in the morning, let her know so she doesn't have to leave her house all early for no reason. The more she talks, the more I dislike her. And it's funny, because she probably sounds like me when I'm speeding at a special ed PTA meeting or something, sort of wacky and all over the place and flying by the seat of her pants. So she's giving us the flighty act and tells how the students have to get used to her sarcasm in the classroom, and all I can think is well Thank You So Much, Teacher, for deigning to come here and teach our kids even though it sounds like it's such a hassle, and you are all wrong for Shrek because he needs steady and calm and he doesn't understand sarcasm. But, I figure, the only time he's really in this room is for lunch, so we'll live. I introduce myself and she says she thinks Shrek is getting along fine and seems like "one of the guys". I know there had been trouble at the table with the other kids being cruel to Shrek and I say as much, but explain how Shrek and I handled it and that things seem to be ok now. (No thanks to you, who didn't even send home a note about it even though the other kids were repremanded.) She looks kind of blank at this so I move on, quite sure now that she's not my favorite teacher ever, and that she really isn't a good choice for a special ed student with social skill issues. The feeling is cemented when she tells the class full of parents a little anecdote about a project the kids were working on for Open House.
"The kids were working on the project when the Special Ed teacher came by and peeked in to see what we were doing, along with the little Special Ed child she was taking somewhere..."
The way she said "little special ed child" sounded as though she was talking about a preschooler. The child is in 2nd grade. That made me uncomfortable, and then she continued.
"She was looking at our work and the little child had a magic marker in his hand and started doing---" here she makes a face and mimes drawing enormous scribbly circles in the air "---and it got all over one of the kids' posters..."
Well, naturally the 4th grader was upset and it was unfortunate, but all the titters and nods between the teacher and parents in the classroom made it sound as though it was a horrible accident by some poor unteachable wild child, when in reality it's a kid with ADHD, not the sub-intelligent pity case she painted it to be. I was surprised to find myself so instantly and completely offended by this little tale, but as I examined the circumstances, the surprise faded. First of all, a teacher shouldn't be talking about students in a way that is so clearly marginalized them. Not in front of students, not in front of parents, because it only reinforces sterotypes and misconceptions. Secondly, hello, you have a special ed kid in your class and his parents are RIGHT THERE. Thirdly, this confirms my initial feeling about her from one of our first emails, that she looks upon special ed kids, and therefore Shrek, as happy idiots that other kids should be nice to and tolerate.
The more immersed I become in special education issues, not just Shrek's but lots of kids and families and groups I'm networking with, the more I bristle at comments that are meant to be harmless but really, really aren't.
I can't wait for my kid to get higher academic grades than most of hers.
Went to open house at Shrek's new school tonight.
We're so lucky in that he is loving it, and a friend of mine is going to be his occupational therapist and she already has all these great ideas, and we spent an hour with his special ed teacher, talking about how he likes to learn, and what works and doesn't, and came away very comfortable with her.
Then we went to the regular classroom.
It's odd this year that he is back in self-contained and only going to the big classroom for lunch, recess and specials: music, art, gym, library and computers. So we head to the big classroom, just to get the layout and meet the teacher, since he's not doing any academic work in there. I don't really listen as she goes on about the curriculum, and anyway, she seems more interested in letting us know how long her morning drive to work is, and how frazzled she can be and how she's sometimes late and if you're not going to come to extra help in the morning, let her know so she doesn't have to leave her house all early for no reason. The more she talks, the more I dislike her. And it's funny, because she probably sounds like me when I'm speeding at a special ed PTA meeting or something, sort of wacky and all over the place and flying by the seat of her pants. So she's giving us the flighty act and tells how the students have to get used to her sarcasm in the classroom, and all I can think is well Thank You So Much, Teacher, for deigning to come here and teach our kids even though it sounds like it's such a hassle, and you are all wrong for Shrek because he needs steady and calm and he doesn't understand sarcasm. But, I figure, the only time he's really in this room is for lunch, so we'll live. I introduce myself and she says she thinks Shrek is getting along fine and seems like "one of the guys". I know there had been trouble at the table with the other kids being cruel to Shrek and I say as much, but explain how Shrek and I handled it and that things seem to be ok now. (No thanks to you, who didn't even send home a note about it even though the other kids were repremanded.) She looks kind of blank at this so I move on, quite sure now that she's not my favorite teacher ever, and that she really isn't a good choice for a special ed student with social skill issues. The feeling is cemented when she tells the class full of parents a little anecdote about a project the kids were working on for Open House.
"The kids were working on the project when the Special Ed teacher came by and peeked in to see what we were doing, along with the little Special Ed child she was taking somewhere..."
The way she said "little special ed child" sounded as though she was talking about a preschooler. The child is in 2nd grade. That made me uncomfortable, and then she continued.
"She was looking at our work and the little child had a magic marker in his hand and started doing---" here she makes a face and mimes drawing enormous scribbly circles in the air "---and it got all over one of the kids' posters..."
Well, naturally the 4th grader was upset and it was unfortunate, but all the titters and nods between the teacher and parents in the classroom made it sound as though it was a horrible accident by some poor unteachable wild child, when in reality it's a kid with ADHD, not the sub-intelligent pity case she painted it to be. I was surprised to find myself so instantly and completely offended by this little tale, but as I examined the circumstances, the surprise faded. First of all, a teacher shouldn't be talking about students in a way that is so clearly marginalized them. Not in front of students, not in front of parents, because it only reinforces sterotypes and misconceptions. Secondly, hello, you have a special ed kid in your class and his parents are RIGHT THERE. Thirdly, this confirms my initial feeling about her from one of our first emails, that she looks upon special ed kids, and therefore Shrek, as happy idiots that other kids should be nice to and tolerate.
The more immersed I become in special education issues, not just Shrek's but lots of kids and families and groups I'm networking with, the more I bristle at comments that are meant to be harmless but really, really aren't.
I can't wait for my kid to get higher academic grades than most of hers.