Let's Get Ready to Rrrrrumble!
Because that's what we humans do. We're just some sort of naturally polarized beings, so we flock to some opinions and are forecefully repelled by others, whether we're talking politics, gender, law, television, education, environment, you name it. I know I do the kneejerk aplenty but I try, more and more, to evaluate before I eviscerate, because being quick on the draw isn't necessarily equal with being right, or being the winner. Maybe I'm just getting old. In any case, here's the tidbit that set off today's thought pattern, and my mistaken internet search for Truth.
Both, actually. In this corner, we have American Eagle, commuter wing of American Airlines, weighing in with Rules! Safety! and the FAA. In this corner, Mom and Toddler, weighing in with Autism! Discrimination! and the Media.
This is the story. I hesitate to use the word "facts" because it is very much he said/she said and I have yet to find a neutral passenger's version. Mom and son are in bulkhead seats on the American Eagle flight as it taxis to runway. Son, who has autism, is having a difficult time settling down and keeping his seatbelt on. Squirming, twisting, which accelerates to screaming and yelling. Mom is trying different ways to calm him with no success. Flight attendant repeatedly tells mom and child that child must be securely strapped in, and it seems, repeatedly reaches in to tighten child's seatbelt, further aggravating the child. Mom has bag of toys, etc, to distract and calm the child but flight attendent says it must be stashed in overhead, as they're in bulkhead seats so there's no seat in front of them to put a bag under. Mom complies. The child is still not in his seat, so the flight attendent scolds him and then gets the pilot, who says "you have to get in that seat young man," and then the mother loses it and starts crying. The child by now is rolling on the floor and screaming and crying, so the pilot takes the plane back to the gate, evidently first announcing to the entire cabin that it's because there was a woman and her child on the plane and the child is uncontrollable, and the mom and child are escorted off the plane.
Well.
My first reaction is that the media should not pick up on Autism cases like dogs waiting at an offal factory, but they do. This only serves to fan the incendiary arguements that push both sides apart.
Should passengers be inconvienced by having to wait for this child to calm down and sit before they can take off?
Should passengers have to listen to this child's wailing?
Should the airline show more patience and try to help the mother rather than scold?
Should the crew have backed off when told the child was not processing their words and they were just upsetting him?
Was the flight ahead of schedule, on time, or delayed? This could factor in to whether they could have waited. My understanding is that by the time they reached the gate, the child was calm, but they made them leave because the mother disregarded FAA rules regarding her bag storage. Perhaps they feared it happening again?
Should children with potentially volatile outbursts be taken on flights?
The child was by all accounts fine the day before, when their original flight taxied out before it was cancelled and it, too, returned to the gate. But that's just it with kids with autism, you never know what will trigger them, or when.
Did the flight attendent speak rudely, as alleged, and yell at the child?
Was the mom doing everything she could to secure the child?
Was the mom expecting the rules to bend to her child's behavior?
Can you claim to want to have the same rights as everyone else and then complain when you aren't given special treatment?
Should the rights of a special needs child supercede the rights of the other plane passengers?
Should all problem children not fly? Go to the movies? Go to church, out to meals, to amusement parks?
Why didn't she just sedate the child?
Was she asking for trouble?
Was she putting the child in an unwinnable situation to suit her own needs?
Is autism just a magic word that is supposed to excuse all bad behavior?
This is the stuff I find when I read the boards.
The more I look at this, the more there isn't a clear-cut right and wrong. You can't train flight attendents in protocol because every incident is different. Most fits are going to burn themselves out, and if the child has been removed from the aisle and strapped in before takeoff, does he still pose a danger to other passengers? The mom has flown successfully with the child before but sometimes there is nothing you can do to stop the crying. In most cases this is where you hold the child tightly, but if they are belted into separate seats, you don't have that option. Although you can still embrace him. And it sounds like the flight attendent could have been much more sympathetic, as the crew on the previous date's flight apparently was.
It all makes me tired.
I've never flown with Shrek. Don't really relish the idea, because if he does decide to meltdown mid-flight, what can you do? I have flown with Luke and Bookworm as infants and toddlers and we survived. Mostly because I nursed them while we flew. And that drew some looks, but too damn bad.
Somewhere there is a balance in tolerance to be learned. The general public needs to be less judgemental. Yes, I've gotten those looks, when Shrek is having a tough few moments somewhere, maybe not speaking the way I'd like him to, or saying something rude. Maybe it's not a big enough deal for me to cause a scene with him - I choose my battles. And these are the times I've gotten those looks that say "why can't you control this child? Why don't you correct him?" and they're not fun. Have I felt awful later? Have I cried in the car? Yup. But I also make judicious calls on when to keep him in an uncomfortable environment, and when to remove him. Again, the idea of a flight would intimidate me. But I'll take him out of church, or movies, etc if he is being too loud, or antsy. But I still take him back, because how else will he learn? It's exhausting but he needs to be given the chance to learn, and I know what I'm in for when I take him. (Actually last week Ed's parents were watching him and asked if they could take him to a movie and Ed and I both practically shouted "No, no, that's ok, do NOT take him to a movie." ) It's the parent of any child, disabled or averagely developing, who doesn't remove their disruptive offspring, even for a breather, because "they have the right to be there" that make me unhappy. I guess no matter what the label, or lack of label, we all need to learn some manners, and some tolerance, and balance them accordingly.
Both, actually. In this corner, we have American Eagle, commuter wing of American Airlines, weighing in with Rules! Safety! and the FAA. In this corner, Mom and Toddler, weighing in with Autism! Discrimination! and the Media.
This is the story. I hesitate to use the word "facts" because it is very much he said/she said and I have yet to find a neutral passenger's version. Mom and son are in bulkhead seats on the American Eagle flight as it taxis to runway. Son, who has autism, is having a difficult time settling down and keeping his seatbelt on. Squirming, twisting, which accelerates to screaming and yelling. Mom is trying different ways to calm him with no success. Flight attendant repeatedly tells mom and child that child must be securely strapped in, and it seems, repeatedly reaches in to tighten child's seatbelt, further aggravating the child. Mom has bag of toys, etc, to distract and calm the child but flight attendent says it must be stashed in overhead, as they're in bulkhead seats so there's no seat in front of them to put a bag under. Mom complies. The child is still not in his seat, so the flight attendent scolds him and then gets the pilot, who says "you have to get in that seat young man," and then the mother loses it and starts crying. The child by now is rolling on the floor and screaming and crying, so the pilot takes the plane back to the gate, evidently first announcing to the entire cabin that it's because there was a woman and her child on the plane and the child is uncontrollable, and the mom and child are escorted off the plane.
Well.
My first reaction is that the media should not pick up on Autism cases like dogs waiting at an offal factory, but they do. This only serves to fan the incendiary arguements that push both sides apart.
Should passengers be inconvienced by having to wait for this child to calm down and sit before they can take off?
Should passengers have to listen to this child's wailing?
Should the airline show more patience and try to help the mother rather than scold?
Should the crew have backed off when told the child was not processing their words and they were just upsetting him?
Was the flight ahead of schedule, on time, or delayed? This could factor in to whether they could have waited. My understanding is that by the time they reached the gate, the child was calm, but they made them leave because the mother disregarded FAA rules regarding her bag storage. Perhaps they feared it happening again?
Should children with potentially volatile outbursts be taken on flights?
The child was by all accounts fine the day before, when their original flight taxied out before it was cancelled and it, too, returned to the gate. But that's just it with kids with autism, you never know what will trigger them, or when.
Did the flight attendent speak rudely, as alleged, and yell at the child?
Was the mom doing everything she could to secure the child?
Was the mom expecting the rules to bend to her child's behavior?
Can you claim to want to have the same rights as everyone else and then complain when you aren't given special treatment?
Should the rights of a special needs child supercede the rights of the other plane passengers?
Should all problem children not fly? Go to the movies? Go to church, out to meals, to amusement parks?
Why didn't she just sedate the child?
Was she asking for trouble?
Was she putting the child in an unwinnable situation to suit her own needs?
Is autism just a magic word that is supposed to excuse all bad behavior?
This is the stuff I find when I read the boards.
The more I look at this, the more there isn't a clear-cut right and wrong. You can't train flight attendents in protocol because every incident is different. Most fits are going to burn themselves out, and if the child has been removed from the aisle and strapped in before takeoff, does he still pose a danger to other passengers? The mom has flown successfully with the child before but sometimes there is nothing you can do to stop the crying. In most cases this is where you hold the child tightly, but if they are belted into separate seats, you don't have that option. Although you can still embrace him. And it sounds like the flight attendent could have been much more sympathetic, as the crew on the previous date's flight apparently was.
It all makes me tired.
I've never flown with Shrek. Don't really relish the idea, because if he does decide to meltdown mid-flight, what can you do? I have flown with Luke and Bookworm as infants and toddlers and we survived. Mostly because I nursed them while we flew. And that drew some looks, but too damn bad.
Somewhere there is a balance in tolerance to be learned. The general public needs to be less judgemental. Yes, I've gotten those looks, when Shrek is having a tough few moments somewhere, maybe not speaking the way I'd like him to, or saying something rude. Maybe it's not a big enough deal for me to cause a scene with him - I choose my battles. And these are the times I've gotten those looks that say "why can't you control this child? Why don't you correct him?" and they're not fun. Have I felt awful later? Have I cried in the car? Yup. But I also make judicious calls on when to keep him in an uncomfortable environment, and when to remove him. Again, the idea of a flight would intimidate me. But I'll take him out of church, or movies, etc if he is being too loud, or antsy. But I still take him back, because how else will he learn? It's exhausting but he needs to be given the chance to learn, and I know what I'm in for when I take him. (Actually last week Ed's parents were watching him and asked if they could take him to a movie and Ed and I both practically shouted "No, no, that's ok, do NOT take him to a movie." ) It's the parent of any child, disabled or averagely developing, who doesn't remove their disruptive offspring, even for a breather, because "they have the right to be there" that make me unhappy. I guess no matter what the label, or lack of label, we all need to learn some manners, and some tolerance, and balance them accordingly.