speak.
There's this phrase that says that you should say something that needs to be said, because if you don't who will? Not that this applied to all, but even Kim was getting frustrated with Chris - and that's a rare sight. While I was first here, I was upset with him because I never heard from him and I contacted him 3 or so occasions within a span of days to nothing, and because of how I heard how he was with people who lived so CLOSE to him back home. Marc eventually got annoyed with him as well and sent him a message, which Chris called me and apologized about. On top of that, I had heard he was excited for my return and had been talking of what we would do, so I figured I would see how it went. Went it did, and I saw him 3 times and, in which, he forgot my actual birthday and never said happy birthday to me. Best friend of almost 7/8 years? In the end, I let it slide the one night out, but I figured I'd better tell him as it was. I have no idea if my email made a difference or not, but for me, it needed to be said. I am slowly losing best friends - I don't have 17 (never did, anywho), more like 4, and are losing or have lost a level of closeness with some. This is the email I sent him already, and I hope it did something.
Hello --
I have no idea what you thought of my texts, but it's the reason I was mad.
This is my last email, which hopefully explains it better than texts.
When I was here, I got absolutely frustrated because I did not hear from you, even after several attempts on my part to contact you. And you had said you would be better, after feeling shitty about it in the summer, and how you didn't see me the whole 2 weeks I was home before I left - not until the very last minute the night before I left.
Then I heard how you weren't around back home, and told your friends you were too busy to hang out with them.
You missed Kim's birthday, who you've known for how many years? I heard it was with reason, but still.
These things aggravated me from 3000 miles, because yea, I care, and just because I'm here, doesn't mean my friends back home magically disappear from my life and that I stop caring about them.
Marc sent you that message because he was frustrated, and so was I; I had intended to talk to you in person.
However, I also heard you were so excited I was coming home, and that you wanted to do all sorts of things with me, so I figured why make a big deal of it?
I'd see how the break went.
Well, the break went and it went and it disappeared. You forgot my birthday because you were so enthralled with your video game, yet you like to tell us we need to become more mature about things? My mom asked where you were because I had my close friends over for dinner, but I was waiting to hear from you to tell you - and I didn't.
When you apologized and asked to make it up on New Year's, I was snowboarding and on my way home, and was trying to figure it out. My life is not stuck on waiting for replies and responding for people. People rarely do it for me anymore, or try to come out and do new things, so I will go with the people who want to and enjoy it as best as can, I'm not chasing people down to suggest we do something new and exciting instead of everyday drinking.
And what happened? Instead of trying to suggest something, you went out elsewhere, so surprised I had planned something.
And to make it even worse, instead of just coming the few nights before I left, you almost didn't. And then I didn't even see you before I left. I'm coming back in November.
One thing that hurt me was that I heard you were twisting things that happened on my birthday, like you used to do to people back in college. Come on man, I thought this stuff was over.
And it makes me wonder how much else has been.
Mostly, though, it's upsetting to see that you think we are still best friends when you don't talk to us or see us. No one wants to see you to yell at you. People want to see you to catch up.
I also disagree about talking to people on a level because you love them - you used to talk to us about everything.
But it's not just me you're slighting, it's these wonderful people who are just trying to still be friends with you - Leigh-Ann, Kim, Carl, Kyle etc. You used to be so close to them.
And no, it's never good when someone doesn't care anymore, because it means their idea of you, their level of friendship with you has been reduced.
Think of it, how much do you really know of us? You didn't know Glenn and I hadn't spoken for months, and instead constantly pushed this insistence of a date with all this disloyalty and disrespect into my life. You are a mutual friend, unfortunately.
However, while you can all talk to me of change and such, you can't pretend like you don't enjoy when we're all together. I saw it in your faces the last night we were out, and I felt it myself.
I wish you the best this semester, but I am no longer going to try, and leave that to you.
I am here for you if you ever need it.
Do me a favor, and see your friends, or talk to them - don't lose them, and don't let them lose you. We're all busy, and some are busier than ever, but it doesn't take more than 5 seconds to say hey, what's up.
All the best,
Elisabetta
Hello --
I have no idea what you thought of my texts, but it's the reason I was mad.
This is my last email, which hopefully explains it better than texts.
When I was here, I got absolutely frustrated because I did not hear from you, even after several attempts on my part to contact you. And you had said you would be better, after feeling shitty about it in the summer, and how you didn't see me the whole 2 weeks I was home before I left - not until the very last minute the night before I left.
Then I heard how you weren't around back home, and told your friends you were too busy to hang out with them.
You missed Kim's birthday, who you've known for how many years? I heard it was with reason, but still.
These things aggravated me from 3000 miles, because yea, I care, and just because I'm here, doesn't mean my friends back home magically disappear from my life and that I stop caring about them.
Marc sent you that message because he was frustrated, and so was I; I had intended to talk to you in person.
However, I also heard you were so excited I was coming home, and that you wanted to do all sorts of things with me, so I figured why make a big deal of it?
I'd see how the break went.
Well, the break went and it went and it disappeared. You forgot my birthday because you were so enthralled with your video game, yet you like to tell us we need to become more mature about things? My mom asked where you were because I had my close friends over for dinner, but I was waiting to hear from you to tell you - and I didn't.
When you apologized and asked to make it up on New Year's, I was snowboarding and on my way home, and was trying to figure it out. My life is not stuck on waiting for replies and responding for people. People rarely do it for me anymore, or try to come out and do new things, so I will go with the people who want to and enjoy it as best as can, I'm not chasing people down to suggest we do something new and exciting instead of everyday drinking.
And what happened? Instead of trying to suggest something, you went out elsewhere, so surprised I had planned something.
And to make it even worse, instead of just coming the few nights before I left, you almost didn't. And then I didn't even see you before I left. I'm coming back in November.
One thing that hurt me was that I heard you were twisting things that happened on my birthday, like you used to do to people back in college. Come on man, I thought this stuff was over.
And it makes me wonder how much else has been.
Mostly, though, it's upsetting to see that you think we are still best friends when you don't talk to us or see us. No one wants to see you to yell at you. People want to see you to catch up.
I also disagree about talking to people on a level because you love them - you used to talk to us about everything.
But it's not just me you're slighting, it's these wonderful people who are just trying to still be friends with you - Leigh-Ann, Kim, Carl, Kyle etc. You used to be so close to them.
And no, it's never good when someone doesn't care anymore, because it means their idea of you, their level of friendship with you has been reduced.
Think of it, how much do you really know of us? You didn't know Glenn and I hadn't spoken for months, and instead constantly pushed this insistence of a date with all this disloyalty and disrespect into my life. You are a mutual friend, unfortunately.
However, while you can all talk to me of change and such, you can't pretend like you don't enjoy when we're all together. I saw it in your faces the last night we were out, and I felt it myself.
I wish you the best this semester, but I am no longer going to try, and leave that to you.
I am here for you if you ever need it.
Do me a favor, and see your friends, or talk to them - don't lose them, and don't let them lose you. We're all busy, and some are busier than ever, but it doesn't take more than 5 seconds to say hey, what's up.
All the best,
Elisabetta