memories....
late at night drinking bush and rolling rock beer, behind my house on that trail, wow those were fun times, then we would walk to the whistle stop and get some chips and nacho cheese. then we would go back to my house and drink more, i would later discover that the two of you had done it like in every room in the down stairs of my house (lol you fuckers, that was pretty funny though) then that would be the inside joke at school between the 3 of us about how you put it on my dads cobra!!! that was fucking great, lol....
most important we all got along.....wow back then.... everything made sense
kb: you were and always will be the man and my best bud, im proud of you little buddy, 13 days and still going, good job, im sorry when i use to encourage you too....
am: you were really cool back then, infact up until now you have been great, i miss how everyone use to be....
tay tay: you really fucking suck you make everyone so fucking sad, md is feeling like she is losing a friend, you stupid crack head dyke. i wish you never would have come into any of our lives. you need to leave....
drock: (note to self) dont know if you have really changed, you seem to be getting better, you seem to be feeling better, you seem to be still alone though, what the fuck is that about. that makes not fucking sense, im so sick of being the fucking nice guy. but i am so sick of myself, i had so many chances to have a good long lasting love, but i fucked those up. i weighed my self, it seems while i was doing all of those BAD THINGS i lost about 30 or 35 pounds total. i stop and think that maybe that was the reason i got started with it. i never would eat a lot while in contact with that stuff... but now i start to. i sometimes think would it really be bad if i still did do that, i mean i would lose more weight, but then i think that i feel pretty good right now. i almost told my mom about the problem, but i dont want to see her sad, she has to deal with so much as it is. when i did it i didnt have to deal with anything, it was easy, it may have only been like 4-5 months of everything i could get my hands on, but it still felt like a fucking problem, a problem that i couldnt grasp. i stay up late thinking about the one night that i felt like i did to much and i could open my eyes or mouth, i couldnt breath out of my nose, i felt so peaceful. but at the same time i felt i was going to die. but some days i feel that way now. but my reasons, my freinds, my life is the reason i dont want to, i dont want to be discovered on the bathroom floor some where, i dont want to walk down the streets and people thinking that i am a zombie.
what the fuck do i want though....
most important we all got along.....wow back then.... everything made sense
kb: you were and always will be the man and my best bud, im proud of you little buddy, 13 days and still going, good job, im sorry when i use to encourage you too....
am: you were really cool back then, infact up until now you have been great, i miss how everyone use to be....
tay tay: you really fucking suck you make everyone so fucking sad, md is feeling like she is losing a friend, you stupid crack head dyke. i wish you never would have come into any of our lives. you need to leave....
drock: (note to self) dont know if you have really changed, you seem to be getting better, you seem to be feeling better, you seem to be still alone though, what the fuck is that about. that makes not fucking sense, im so sick of being the fucking nice guy. but i am so sick of myself, i had so many chances to have a good long lasting love, but i fucked those up. i weighed my self, it seems while i was doing all of those BAD THINGS i lost about 30 or 35 pounds total. i stop and think that maybe that was the reason i got started with it. i never would eat a lot while in contact with that stuff... but now i start to. i sometimes think would it really be bad if i still did do that, i mean i would lose more weight, but then i think that i feel pretty good right now. i almost told my mom about the problem, but i dont want to see her sad, she has to deal with so much as it is. when i did it i didnt have to deal with anything, it was easy, it may have only been like 4-5 months of everything i could get my hands on, but it still felt like a fucking problem, a problem that i couldnt grasp. i stay up late thinking about the one night that i felt like i did to much and i could open my eyes or mouth, i couldnt breath out of my nose, i felt so peaceful. but at the same time i felt i was going to die. but some days i feel that way now. but my reasons, my freinds, my life is the reason i dont want to, i dont want to be discovered on the bathroom floor some where, i dont want to walk down the streets and people thinking that i am a zombie.
what the fuck do i want though....