Neglect
I am ashamed to admit that I've been neglecting updating this thing. Though my Master told me that I should get to a point where I am updating everyday, I did the very opposite and completely neglected it. My reasons are rather irrelevant, and don't hold a candle to the neglect. Ashamed though I am my Master has chosen not to punish or scold me for it. My saving grace is that I am always eager to improve. In anyway that I can, grow and expand. So from my mistakes, even sometimes when they are not pointed out to me I learn. And I do my very best not to repeat the mistake. The essays I was instructed to read. Gor on earth...One of them makes a statement about proactive and reactive slaves. I liked what she said.
"A proactive slave attempts to understand his likes, preferences, goals for her so well, that at times she obeys blindly, but at other times, she can offer more, confident that she is following his wishes without his having to repeatedly command her to do so. She understands what he feels is a priority, and thus, the level of micromanagement lowers. She constantly evaluates her performance, based on his reactions, mistakes are less frequent, and her growth is not stagnant, but ongoing. She is introspective, careful to better herself in the ways that he desires, provided she keeps in mind that her own agenda does not matter, but *his* ideal of slavery does."
That reminds me of my self. In fact, it is my self. And I am proud of that fact. Proud that that quality makes me pleasing to my Master. Proud and ever delighted to serve my Master.
All that aside. I have a lot of things to update!!! First: I will not be going to that con after all. I should have known...But my Gram was being a loon and so the opportunity was lost. However there is good news as well. Cats, the Broadway play is celebrating its 25th anniversary. And I am going to the show, 7:30pm Saturday. And got great seats! I am so excited! I have loved that play since the moment I saw it when I was 9 years and saw it on Oregon Public Broadcasting one night. So yes, I am excited!
I've had a wonderful day by the way. Absolutely fabulous. Somewhere in the hustle and bustle of today somewhere inside me something clicked. I was happy. Not happy how I have been for well over two years. Happy but...With a lurking sort of sadness. But really happy. Not only that but I felt strong. I felt strong and confident, and intelligent. I felt capable and worthy... It was the old me. The old me without the cocky young 16 year old immaturity. But still me. It was...Amazing. Once I realized it I actually teared up...It was like reuniting with an old friend whom I had not seen in a very long time...
And that concludes this update for now. I am actually rather tired, long day on little sleep and all that. Anyway, I have a big day tomorrow!!!
~Jessie
"A proactive slave attempts to understand his likes, preferences, goals for her so well, that at times she obeys blindly, but at other times, she can offer more, confident that she is following his wishes without his having to repeatedly command her to do so. She understands what he feels is a priority, and thus, the level of micromanagement lowers. She constantly evaluates her performance, based on his reactions, mistakes are less frequent, and her growth is not stagnant, but ongoing. She is introspective, careful to better herself in the ways that he desires, provided she keeps in mind that her own agenda does not matter, but *his* ideal of slavery does."
That reminds me of my self. In fact, it is my self. And I am proud of that fact. Proud that that quality makes me pleasing to my Master. Proud and ever delighted to serve my Master.
All that aside. I have a lot of things to update!!! First: I will not be going to that con after all. I should have known...But my Gram was being a loon and so the opportunity was lost. However there is good news as well. Cats, the Broadway play is celebrating its 25th anniversary. And I am going to the show, 7:30pm Saturday. And got great seats! I am so excited! I have loved that play since the moment I saw it when I was 9 years and saw it on Oregon Public Broadcasting one night. So yes, I am excited!
I've had a wonderful day by the way. Absolutely fabulous. Somewhere in the hustle and bustle of today somewhere inside me something clicked. I was happy. Not happy how I have been for well over two years. Happy but...With a lurking sort of sadness. But really happy. Not only that but I felt strong. I felt strong and confident, and intelligent. I felt capable and worthy... It was the old me. The old me without the cocky young 16 year old immaturity. But still me. It was...Amazing. Once I realized it I actually teared up...It was like reuniting with an old friend whom I had not seen in a very long time...
And that concludes this update for now. I am actually rather tired, long day on little sleep and all that. Anyway, I have a big day tomorrow!!!
~Jessie