I'm sorry I can't be perfetc
They say that family is the most important thing, that no matter what, blood is thicker than water. But even if that is true, there are just somethings that even in a "close-nit family" seem out of place. I remember when I was in High school and would hear all my friends talk about how their families were so messed up and their parents were really bad with them. I remember feeling lucky that I had parents that loved and cared about me. Of course back them my mom was still alive and life was much more carefree. Gosh how I miss those days when you're a kid and life is just easy going and and there was no care in the world.
But I'm grown up now and my mom isn't around anymore and life is much more complicated. If I think back, I know my family was never perfect, families fight and argue, but even through it all we always managed to be a family. If I look back on my family situation in the last 5 years, I feel like things have deteriorated a lot or maybe I'm starting to see things that I never noticed before. For starters I got into college and paid for it on my own, I didn't have my dad help me, he never paid a cent while I was studying, and he most diffidently did not seem to show support. Bare in mind we are 5 brothers and sisters, me being the 3rd born, and I was the first to graduate, actually the first to graduate from anyone in my side of the family. I think that's a pretty big thing, also I graduated with honors thank you very much.
One big event that took place in my family was when my younger sister, being 17 at the moment, got knocked up. And sure, don't get me wrong, I love those kids like crazy, but having to deal with that drama in my life was just too hectic. Not to mention this sister has been like the fallen sister. The one who has run away a fair few times from home and made us have to work with her anger management. I'm telling you, its hard having to deal with someone who all they did was complain and say how we were "ruining" her life.
Another thing is how I participated in this college exchange program called Semester at Sea, I managed to GET IN and get all the funds needed to participate. Bare in mind this program cost $12,000 for the summer semester and I asked my dad for NOTHING. On the other hand all he did was say how much of a caprice this was. Mind you, he is very proud to brag at his job how I was able to be a part of such a prestigious program.
I am the household dependent. I clean, cook, do the laundry, and not to mention my dad looks for me to all the important things related to home. Every decision related to buying seasonal decorations, I'm usually the house chaperon so if anyone comes over or we host a party I'm in charge of being host, and for the most part I have to always be looking out that no on is making a mess on a daily basis. Which leads me to being the one that has to deal with the general house drama. Like when I had to be the "negotiator" for my little sister when she had her little "I hate my life so I ran away" antics. Like I said, household dependent.
My older brother when he graduated from 12th grade he moved to the other side of P.R. I understand how people want to be independent, but ever since he did, he is just a very impersonal person with us. Example, he served in Afghanistan for a year, we hadn't seen him since. When he was discharged I went to pick him up at the airport, holding a "welcome home" balloon and banner. He saw me and was so nonchalant. As if he seeing me was something that happened only yesterday. He spent 2 months in PR before he moved to Atlanta, if he was with us for 2 weeks, it was too much. I love my brother, but if we weren't related, I don't think I could say as much.
I graduated 6 months ago, I have been working as a banquet server for almost 2 years. After I graduated I hadn't gotten a new job, partly is because I've been waiting in the hotel I work for a position to be open, another part is just based on laziness. Not too long ago my dad gave me and my brothers the "speech". In a more concentrated way, he told us we either had to start splitting the bills or move out. Okay, I can get this from someone who makes not so much money in a year, but for someone who wins $100,000+ a year, has a three story house, and is currently putting a pool the size of Texas in the back yard, I don't see how he can just be an ass hole and not too long after graduation be all "get up and get out". It hurts, because he makes me feel like a failure, as if all I did was for nothing. He thinks we all have no plans, but in truth we all do, he's just never around to hear them. I guess that's what becomes us when we grow up, we become workaholics and our soul is devoured by greed.
I know each family isn't perfect, but sometimes we realize how life changes people. And at times all we need is to let go of those we thought we could depend off and start depending on ourselves. It's easier and that way we won't have to worry about feeling like nothing and a failure to others.
But I'm grown up now and my mom isn't around anymore and life is much more complicated. If I think back, I know my family was never perfect, families fight and argue, but even through it all we always managed to be a family. If I look back on my family situation in the last 5 years, I feel like things have deteriorated a lot or maybe I'm starting to see things that I never noticed before. For starters I got into college and paid for it on my own, I didn't have my dad help me, he never paid a cent while I was studying, and he most diffidently did not seem to show support. Bare in mind we are 5 brothers and sisters, me being the 3rd born, and I was the first to graduate, actually the first to graduate from anyone in my side of the family. I think that's a pretty big thing, also I graduated with honors thank you very much.
One big event that took place in my family was when my younger sister, being 17 at the moment, got knocked up. And sure, don't get me wrong, I love those kids like crazy, but having to deal with that drama in my life was just too hectic. Not to mention this sister has been like the fallen sister. The one who has run away a fair few times from home and made us have to work with her anger management. I'm telling you, its hard having to deal with someone who all they did was complain and say how we were "ruining" her life.
Another thing is how I participated in this college exchange program called Semester at Sea, I managed to GET IN and get all the funds needed to participate. Bare in mind this program cost $12,000 for the summer semester and I asked my dad for NOTHING. On the other hand all he did was say how much of a caprice this was. Mind you, he is very proud to brag at his job how I was able to be a part of such a prestigious program.
I am the household dependent. I clean, cook, do the laundry, and not to mention my dad looks for me to all the important things related to home. Every decision related to buying seasonal decorations, I'm usually the house chaperon so if anyone comes over or we host a party I'm in charge of being host, and for the most part I have to always be looking out that no on is making a mess on a daily basis. Which leads me to being the one that has to deal with the general house drama. Like when I had to be the "negotiator" for my little sister when she had her little "I hate my life so I ran away" antics. Like I said, household dependent.
My older brother when he graduated from 12th grade he moved to the other side of P.R. I understand how people want to be independent, but ever since he did, he is just a very impersonal person with us. Example, he served in Afghanistan for a year, we hadn't seen him since. When he was discharged I went to pick him up at the airport, holding a "welcome home" balloon and banner. He saw me and was so nonchalant. As if he seeing me was something that happened only yesterday. He spent 2 months in PR before he moved to Atlanta, if he was with us for 2 weeks, it was too much. I love my brother, but if we weren't related, I don't think I could say as much.
I graduated 6 months ago, I have been working as a banquet server for almost 2 years. After I graduated I hadn't gotten a new job, partly is because I've been waiting in the hotel I work for a position to be open, another part is just based on laziness. Not too long ago my dad gave me and my brothers the "speech". In a more concentrated way, he told us we either had to start splitting the bills or move out. Okay, I can get this from someone who makes not so much money in a year, but for someone who wins $100,000+ a year, has a three story house, and is currently putting a pool the size of Texas in the back yard, I don't see how he can just be an ass hole and not too long after graduation be all "get up and get out". It hurts, because he makes me feel like a failure, as if all I did was for nothing. He thinks we all have no plans, but in truth we all do, he's just never around to hear them. I guess that's what becomes us when we grow up, we become workaholics and our soul is devoured by greed.
I know each family isn't perfect, but sometimes we realize how life changes people. And at times all we need is to let go of those we thought we could depend off and start depending on ourselves. It's easier and that way we won't have to worry about feeling like nothing and a failure to others.