(no subject)
Lately I have been so under the weather. I've had a bit of a head cold for about a week, and I just wish I was back to normal. It feels like I've been sick forever. On top of being sick, I've been kind of depressed, too. I always complain about not having enough time, but when I do have time, I waste it. I've also been terribly lonely. The only person who has any interest in me and my life anymore is Josh, really. I've realized that I really don't have any friends. I take full responsibility for this because I work so much, I don't attempt to make friends, I don't really like anyone, and the friends I did have I let drift away. I just wish I hadn't wasted my entire high school career. Seriously, I really don't have any memories of anything. I need to sort my life out, seriously. I've been apathetic about everything. I hate my job, school is miserable, the friends I do have are never around, I'm not interested in anything anymore. I never read, never write, never take pictures, I don't do anything but sleep. I'm not ready for college, but I can't stand high school. I like to be alone, but I don't have any friends and I'm lonely. I hate to work, but I'm always poor. I don't have control over anything in my life anymore. I just don't know anymore.