A Modest Propsal
1.9 billion people in the world are overweight. 1.9 billion people in the world are starving.
Effective January 1, 2007. The following policy shall be adapted by the Federal Government of the United States of America:
All citizens of the United States of America living in one of the 50 states, and all aliens residing in said boundaries, between the ages of 8 and 60, shall be subject to a mandatory physical evaluation and physical fitness test, to be administered annually by medical professionals. Individuals that cannot comply with minimum fitness requirements will have one year (365 days) to meet minimum fitness requirements*. All individuals who fail to fulfill these requirements shall be subject to deportation to the Darfur region of Sudan** for 1 year (365 days) or until they meet standards set by the Department of Health Education and Welfare.
* Individuals shall be within 5lbs. of weight for height ratio. Individuals will be required to complete a 9 minute mile and shall be required to complete 60 sit-ups in 1 minute (60 seconds). Furthermore, all individuals shall be required to submit caloric intake records to medical professionals.
** For every person deported to Sudan, a flight back to the United States will be offered (all expenses paid) to a Sudanese citizen or resident.