Despisition
(Warning: This is a very hateful entry.)
In early of April, my grandfather (Tty's side) passed away.
I have mentioned about him a couple of times, but to put you up to speed on who he is: He is the bastard who is the first person who I genuinely, and deeply despised. He is a womanizer who had at least three children from two other women, and heaven knows how many other "girlfriends" he had when he was married to my grandmother (the same grandmother who passed away a year ago.)
Nny and I talked about... if my grandfather had any "redeeming qualities" if we set aside the fact that he was an unfaithful piece of shit. The answer was no. He was a self-center, egotistic, materialistic, status-oriented asshole.
The only good things that came from my grandfather's existence are that:
1.) A good bunch of people exist directly and indirectly thanks to him - I.e. my father, his siblings (my aunts and uncles), my cousins, and my siblings, and:
2.) He serves as a good example. That is, a good example of what kind of person one should not be like.
I am probably biased because I am the son of Tty, but I think it was Tty who had it worst when it comes to dealing with my grandfather. According to Nny, Tty confronted my grandfather about his unfaithfulness. And when my grandfather denied it, Tty walked away and did not show himself (and as collateral damage, our family) to our grandfather for a decade. If holding grudges is a hereditary trait, then I pretty much inherited that trait from Tty. And in modern times, all of Tty's siblings lived in North America, so it was Tty who was left here to deal with my grandfather.
One of the major concerns was what we would do if any of our grandfather's extra-marital family members visited during his wake. We had two sets of instructions:
1.) Tty asked Nny to make sure that he will not interact with the extra-marital families at all
2.) Most of Tty's siblings didn't even want the extra-marital families to be there. So we should make sure to kindly and peacefully tell them to leave, as to not further burden the family members who are already mourning to begin with.
So when my grandfather passed away, I was actually glad that he did. I thought to myself that my father will no longer have to deal with my grandfather and his asshole-ness. Although I think most of us know that anger is some kind of poison, and that the "absence of the source of anger" does not cure your poison.
I am posting this around his birthday not to celebrate his life, but to denounce it. Even if I think that Tty will still have to endure too many things... I hope that my grandfather can torment my father no longer.
In early of April, my grandfather (Tty's side) passed away.
I have mentioned about him a couple of times, but to put you up to speed on who he is: He is the bastard who is the first person who I genuinely, and deeply despised. He is a womanizer who had at least three children from two other women, and heaven knows how many other "girlfriends" he had when he was married to my grandmother (the same grandmother who passed away a year ago.)
Nny and I talked about... if my grandfather had any "redeeming qualities" if we set aside the fact that he was an unfaithful piece of shit. The answer was no. He was a self-center, egotistic, materialistic, status-oriented asshole.
The only good things that came from my grandfather's existence are that:
1.) A good bunch of people exist directly and indirectly thanks to him - I.e. my father, his siblings (my aunts and uncles), my cousins, and my siblings, and:
2.) He serves as a good example. That is, a good example of what kind of person one should not be like.
I am probably biased because I am the son of Tty, but I think it was Tty who had it worst when it comes to dealing with my grandfather. According to Nny, Tty confronted my grandfather about his unfaithfulness. And when my grandfather denied it, Tty walked away and did not show himself (and as collateral damage, our family) to our grandfather for a decade. If holding grudges is a hereditary trait, then I pretty much inherited that trait from Tty. And in modern times, all of Tty's siblings lived in North America, so it was Tty who was left here to deal with my grandfather.
One of the major concerns was what we would do if any of our grandfather's extra-marital family members visited during his wake. We had two sets of instructions:
1.) Tty asked Nny to make sure that he will not interact with the extra-marital families at all
2.) Most of Tty's siblings didn't even want the extra-marital families to be there. So we should make sure to kindly and peacefully tell them to leave, as to not further burden the family members who are already mourning to begin with.
So when my grandfather passed away, I was actually glad that he did. I thought to myself that my father will no longer have to deal with my grandfather and his asshole-ness. Although I think most of us know that anger is some kind of poison, and that the "absence of the source of anger" does not cure your poison.
I am posting this around his birthday not to celebrate his life, but to denounce it. Even if I think that Tty will still have to endure too many things... I hope that my grandfather can torment my father no longer.