It is better to be hated for who you are than to be loved for someone you are not.
Let's start w/ the last time I wrote in here. Things went ok 4 a day or 2. Then I started having problems w/ sum of my friends. 1 st I was told that my giving advice is causing problems. The person said that ppl feel like I am making their decisions for them. I don't feel that way. I feel that I only help them to make a decision or help them get thru their problems. The decision is theirs 2 make. And this is the same person that cums to me and starts talking shit to me about MY BEST FRIENDS!!! That is 1: wrong 2:stupid and 3: FUCKING UN CALLED 4!!! I mean honestly! Does he think that I am really gonna stab my friendz in the back just so he can have that satisfaction of trying 2 make me a bad person??? I think not! Don't come to me and talk shit about my friendz! If u have a problem w/ them.........tell them!!!!! I just want 2 put a special thanx 2 that person 4 making me believe that I was a bad person there 4 a little bit. I don't need that crap.
As for my family life, things have gotten really fucked up! My mom is the only 1 hu tells me wut is going on w/ my grandma, hu is being transfered up 2 stanford on tuesday, I have no groceries and can't get them w/o sharon or debbie, I have no cash to get anything else or do anything. I AM STUCK!!! But thanfully my mom cares so she is sending me some money so I can get the stuff that I need. It is pretty pitiful that no one wants me to get a job but they would leave me stuck like this! But I will be able to get thru it as long as grandma isn't in the hospital 4 2 much longer.
I am just so tired of ppl taking advantage of me and talking shit about me and my friends and just treating my like I'm nuthing! Is taht how u treat sum 1 hu helps u?!?!? Is that the way u treat the person taking care of ur loved 1???? I try my damndest 2 make EVERY 1 happy and it is taking a toll on my health. But do I care?!?! No! I am getting ready to go under the knife and still do I care???? No! I feel it is my responsibility to make EVERY 1 happy, When in reality it is me and grandma that I need to make happy and not even that! If all of u presist this bullshit, I will be making only myself happy and just taking care of grandma like I was working in a nursing home!!! I don't want it 2 b that way, but that is how it seems u all want it! And usually I would say hu gives a fuck wut u all want, but being as tho a certain aunt of mine is holding stuff (a place to stay, being able to live) over my head I can only respect wut sum of u say. But no DO wut u say. I am still human after all and all of u have a thing about making me feel so bad that I have almost bought plane tickets back home. Not b cuz the job is 2 hard but b cuz my family out here hates me, and loves to treat me like shit. And I mean all of u. My friends that see wut goes on here r the only ones standing behind me! None of u r here, u just go by hear say! Oh well if ur rich life standards have dropped u all to that level, then wut makes u so sure u r sum 1 at all?
As 4 my social life. wut is that? I have no social life! I am soooooo alone! I mean I have been so depressed about my life here l8ly and I dunno wut I am gonna do w/ myself. All I do is listen 2 my friends' problems and give them advice 2 the best of my ability. Don't get me wrong, I love 2 listen 2 thier problems and everything, but sum x's I need sum 1 2 listen 2 me every once in a while. I'm not asking for a lot or often but everyonce in a while. But u no, hey there is nuthing 4 sumbody and that sumbody seems to be me. I can deal w/ it. I have 4 this long. oh well. I don't feel like telling all of u n e more, so until next time!
*only those who can see the invisible can do the impossible*
*Live for todays because yesterdays are over and tomorrows may never come*
*Pain is temporary but glory is forever*
*The best way to make dreams come true is to wake up*
*Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.*
*If I could give you one gift, I would give you the ability to see yourself as I see you so you could see how truly special you are*
As for my family life, things have gotten really fucked up! My mom is the only 1 hu tells me wut is going on w/ my grandma, hu is being transfered up 2 stanford on tuesday, I have no groceries and can't get them w/o sharon or debbie, I have no cash to get anything else or do anything. I AM STUCK!!! But thanfully my mom cares so she is sending me some money so I can get the stuff that I need. It is pretty pitiful that no one wants me to get a job but they would leave me stuck like this! But I will be able to get thru it as long as grandma isn't in the hospital 4 2 much longer.
I am just so tired of ppl taking advantage of me and talking shit about me and my friends and just treating my like I'm nuthing! Is taht how u treat sum 1 hu helps u?!?!? Is that the way u treat the person taking care of ur loved 1???? I try my damndest 2 make EVERY 1 happy and it is taking a toll on my health. But do I care?!?! No! I am getting ready to go under the knife and still do I care???? No! I feel it is my responsibility to make EVERY 1 happy, When in reality it is me and grandma that I need to make happy and not even that! If all of u presist this bullshit, I will be making only myself happy and just taking care of grandma like I was working in a nursing home!!! I don't want it 2 b that way, but that is how it seems u all want it! And usually I would say hu gives a fuck wut u all want, but being as tho a certain aunt of mine is holding stuff (a place to stay, being able to live) over my head I can only respect wut sum of u say. But no DO wut u say. I am still human after all and all of u have a thing about making me feel so bad that I have almost bought plane tickets back home. Not b cuz the job is 2 hard but b cuz my family out here hates me, and loves to treat me like shit. And I mean all of u. My friends that see wut goes on here r the only ones standing behind me! None of u r here, u just go by hear say! Oh well if ur rich life standards have dropped u all to that level, then wut makes u so sure u r sum 1 at all?
As 4 my social life. wut is that? I have no social life! I am soooooo alone! I mean I have been so depressed about my life here l8ly and I dunno wut I am gonna do w/ myself. All I do is listen 2 my friends' problems and give them advice 2 the best of my ability. Don't get me wrong, I love 2 listen 2 thier problems and everything, but sum x's I need sum 1 2 listen 2 me every once in a while. I'm not asking for a lot or often but everyonce in a while. But u no, hey there is nuthing 4 sumbody and that sumbody seems to be me. I can deal w/ it. I have 4 this long. oh well. I don't feel like telling all of u n e more, so until next time!
*only those who can see the invisible can do the impossible*
*Live for todays because yesterdays are over and tomorrows may never come*
*Pain is temporary but glory is forever*
*The best way to make dreams come true is to wake up*
*Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.*
*If I could give you one gift, I would give you the ability to see yourself as I see you so you could see how truly special you are*