(no subject)
Sometimes I wish I could just run away from it all.
Pretty much everything is sucking right now. I'm in over my head, and I can't handle it. I am constantly tired and just want to relax but there's no time for that. And lately, I'm in a great deal of pain. I think my body is throwing giant signs my way to slow down, and believe me that pain is definitely holding my back.
Life is kinda sucky at the moment. I still don't have a car, and I have been pretty patient about this. I have been working my ass off for the car, to prove that I can afford the car and yet I still get no recognition as a person in the area. I am very close to going out and buying without the help I was hoping to get and praying that I bought a good car.
Work is stressing me out. I narrowed that down a little though, so now it's just one stress instead of two. I quit the YMCA because I couldn't handle both that and Regal. It was a great experience and all, but OMG!!!! Anyways, Regal is not terrible these days. Things are finally starting to pick up and that makes me a little excited and anxious at the same time. We'll see how things will turn out soon, hopefully for the better!
School's not too bad....things there are a breeze, as always. No work piling up, or anything. Kind of boring. I do have lots of college essays to work on though. But they'll get done eventually. I have too much fun when I actually get some time off and get to spend some time away from it all, I actually see a smile emerge and it makes all the bad stuff go away.
And I realize that I'm very busy. I'm a busy body, always on the go. That's the way I am. I'm almost always stressed out, and I can barely find time for myself, let alone other people, which kind of scares me that I've become this way. But I get this busy because I hate having nothing to do. I hate sitting at home alone while everyone is out having fun. I can't stand being by myself with nothing to do. This is why I always keep myself so busy, so when I'm not working or running from place to place, I can never really tell how much my life kind of suck but not really. I just miss the way I used to be, and I find it peeking out once and a while and I grab onto it and hold it tight. I want to feel like myself again, cause I haven't been feeling to great lately, and keep it this time around.