(no subject)
i sounded discouraging in my last post...
especially to all those that i know, that ARE in romantic relationships..that are seemingly successful..so far.
here's what i've learned.. in my twenty one years of existence..(which isn't much at all.)
to achieve "true" love, you start with friendship. friendship, eventually transcends into what i like to call "pure" love. this is love between family, between friends, between the closest and most dearest of friends..
it's free of rose colored glasses, sexual attraction, etc. it is knowing the person for who they really are, good and bad, and simply loving them. this kind of love you cannot explain, or justify.
pure love..then has that ability to transcend into romantic love (which, i still believe to be temporary in its own nature).
romantic love is wonderful, and it's temporary. however, pure love is what withstands when romantic love runs its course.
(and romantic love has the capability to come back in romantic relationships, over and over. basically, there are times of stability, this is when pure love still exists between the couple, and then there are time of romantic love, vice versa, etc.)
what i'm trying to explain, and what i now feel is best- is that people should strive to achieve pure love before ever considering romantic love. what happens the most, is that people jump right into romantic love, way before friendship, and way, way, before pure love. this is why some relationships are so flimsy, and so fragile.. when there is no foundation, when there is no friendship or when there never was mutual, universal acceptance of each other..then how do you expect romantic love to come back, in a relationship? it'll come, and then it'll go, and you'll be left with nothing.
now don't get me wrong. just because you have achieved friendship, and pure love with someone, does not mean you will ever achieve romantic love with them. please do not go into friendship with this thought. it will ultimately affect the honesty of your friendship with that person, and basically, you'll still be wearing the rose colored glasses, and then the friendship really doesn't mean much...and is really just a pseudo-friendship based on attraction with the goal of a romantic relationship. and the goal should never be romantic love. it should be pure love.
so, even though this path takes longer, and a LOT more work, remember it's only for those who want to achieve the well-roundedness of true love.
friendship --> pure love +- romantic love = true love.
that's my weird looking equation...i hope it makes sense.
and this, is what i believe some of my friends have. for example, my friend robert maeder, has achieved this with his fiancee, suzanne. that's just my personal opinion.
others friends of mine...not so much. i urge you to really evaluate your relationships, and really think about them. and that's all i will say about that.
and also, i don't claim to know all and everything about relationships. i'm just learning ,and i'm still learning. i am not in a romantic relationship at the moment, and i have only achieved pure love with a few of my friends.
recently, i became very bitter after the end of a romantic prospect...a relationship that never was. right now i am taking time to get over my attraction for that person.. to get rid of my rose colored glasses... and consider creating a real friendship with that person, with hope of pure love, but no goal of romantic love.
if i don't make sense, i promise you, one day i will.
bottom line is: it is much more important, and so much more worth having a friendship and pure love with someone, even if no romantic love exists between the two.
pure love is what i feel about michelle, and about sheebu, and a few other of my friends.
and these are the relationships that stay with you.
especially to all those that i know, that ARE in romantic relationships..that are seemingly successful..so far.
here's what i've learned.. in my twenty one years of existence..(which isn't much at all.)
to achieve "true" love, you start with friendship. friendship, eventually transcends into what i like to call "pure" love. this is love between family, between friends, between the closest and most dearest of friends..
it's free of rose colored glasses, sexual attraction, etc. it is knowing the person for who they really are, good and bad, and simply loving them. this kind of love you cannot explain, or justify.
pure love..then has that ability to transcend into romantic love (which, i still believe to be temporary in its own nature).
romantic love is wonderful, and it's temporary. however, pure love is what withstands when romantic love runs its course.
(and romantic love has the capability to come back in romantic relationships, over and over. basically, there are times of stability, this is when pure love still exists between the couple, and then there are time of romantic love, vice versa, etc.)
what i'm trying to explain, and what i now feel is best- is that people should strive to achieve pure love before ever considering romantic love. what happens the most, is that people jump right into romantic love, way before friendship, and way, way, before pure love. this is why some relationships are so flimsy, and so fragile.. when there is no foundation, when there is no friendship or when there never was mutual, universal acceptance of each other..then how do you expect romantic love to come back, in a relationship? it'll come, and then it'll go, and you'll be left with nothing.
now don't get me wrong. just because you have achieved friendship, and pure love with someone, does not mean you will ever achieve romantic love with them. please do not go into friendship with this thought. it will ultimately affect the honesty of your friendship with that person, and basically, you'll still be wearing the rose colored glasses, and then the friendship really doesn't mean much...and is really just a pseudo-friendship based on attraction with the goal of a romantic relationship. and the goal should never be romantic love. it should be pure love.
so, even though this path takes longer, and a LOT more work, remember it's only for those who want to achieve the well-roundedness of true love.
friendship --> pure love +- romantic love = true love.
that's my weird looking equation...i hope it makes sense.
and this, is what i believe some of my friends have. for example, my friend robert maeder, has achieved this with his fiancee, suzanne. that's just my personal opinion.
others friends of mine...not so much. i urge you to really evaluate your relationships, and really think about them. and that's all i will say about that.
and also, i don't claim to know all and everything about relationships. i'm just learning ,and i'm still learning. i am not in a romantic relationship at the moment, and i have only achieved pure love with a few of my friends.
recently, i became very bitter after the end of a romantic prospect...a relationship that never was. right now i am taking time to get over my attraction for that person.. to get rid of my rose colored glasses... and consider creating a real friendship with that person, with hope of pure love, but no goal of romantic love.
if i don't make sense, i promise you, one day i will.
bottom line is: it is much more important, and so much more worth having a friendship and pure love with someone, even if no romantic love exists between the two.
pure love is what i feel about michelle, and about sheebu, and a few other of my friends.
and these are the relationships that stay with you.