My career flakiness, pt. 5,987,132
Here's the truth I've been hiding from myself until now: I absolutely hate my career. I am not cut out to be a writer. I was so desperate to get out of my job at the library that I thought that going back home to write would be a good move, but in truth I am bored out of my mind and getting very depressed again. I'm very glad I'm not at the library anymore, but I need to do something else.
I know that people think I'm flaky about my career goals. I got my degree in sociology, figured I'd go to grad school, decided library school would be a good move. I turned out to hate that too, once I actually worked in a library and took classes at two different library schools.
For my entire life, people have told me that I should be a writer, and at one time I really loved to do it. But I haven't really enjoyed writing since I was 18 and I still don't.
At one time I thought I wanted to be a counselor, but I changed my mind about that when I realized I actually didn't have the patience for giving advice that people didn't take.
I have two main other careers I have been interested in for many years: teaching sociology, or working in the medical field. I am still interested in both. Teaching sociology is not viable because I'd have to get advanced degrees, there are no local schools that offer those programs and there are almost no jobs in academia. I don't feel like going to school for 6-8 more years to get a part-time low-paying adjunct job.
It is always easier for me to figure out what I don't want than what I do want. I know for sure that I do not want to work retail or as a secretary. I hate slow, boring jobs.
My deepest fear is that I just won't like any job. But I know it's not true, because I've had a job I really liked.
When Logan was born, I had only 15 college credits under my belt and wanted to go to med school to become an OB/GYN, but I thought I was too old. If I had done it then, I'd probably be a doctor by now. It's almost certainly too late now, especially because I cannot get student loans anymore. And I've thought of becoming a homebirth midwife, but there aren't any opportunities to get the training around here and there is so little demand for the services around here I'd be back to square one.
But I could be an OB nurse. At first J was very opposed to me going back to school because so far college education has been so useless for us --his degree in one of the supposedly most in-demand fields, accounting, still has him working at his same crappy tech support job six months after graduation. But as he said tonight, for at least the past ten years whenever I think of a different career, I always say "I should've gone into nursing." I had to call a source the other day for an article I'm writing for a local magazine about postpartum depression and my source's job title is "director of childbirth education and lactation consultant" and I was envious of her job title. I know you don't start there as a nurse, but that would be my dream job.
I'm afraid that I still won't get a job, because the job market for nurses is not great anymore either. Like accounting, the shortage of nurses appears overblown based on what I've seen. I'm also afraid that I wouldn't be able to get into a labor & delivery nursing specialty too and be stuck in something less desirable. I'm afraid of mean doctors and mean nurses and most of all, hating yet another job field that I thought I'd like.
But I'm going anyway. I'm going to have pay cash as I go since I can no longer get student loans, so it may take me a while. I hope this option finally works out for me, because I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't.
I know that people think I'm flaky about my career goals. I got my degree in sociology, figured I'd go to grad school, decided library school would be a good move. I turned out to hate that too, once I actually worked in a library and took classes at two different library schools.
For my entire life, people have told me that I should be a writer, and at one time I really loved to do it. But I haven't really enjoyed writing since I was 18 and I still don't.
At one time I thought I wanted to be a counselor, but I changed my mind about that when I realized I actually didn't have the patience for giving advice that people didn't take.
I have two main other careers I have been interested in for many years: teaching sociology, or working in the medical field. I am still interested in both. Teaching sociology is not viable because I'd have to get advanced degrees, there are no local schools that offer those programs and there are almost no jobs in academia. I don't feel like going to school for 6-8 more years to get a part-time low-paying adjunct job.
It is always easier for me to figure out what I don't want than what I do want. I know for sure that I do not want to work retail or as a secretary. I hate slow, boring jobs.
My deepest fear is that I just won't like any job. But I know it's not true, because I've had a job I really liked.
When Logan was born, I had only 15 college credits under my belt and wanted to go to med school to become an OB/GYN, but I thought I was too old. If I had done it then, I'd probably be a doctor by now. It's almost certainly too late now, especially because I cannot get student loans anymore. And I've thought of becoming a homebirth midwife, but there aren't any opportunities to get the training around here and there is so little demand for the services around here I'd be back to square one.
But I could be an OB nurse. At first J was very opposed to me going back to school because so far college education has been so useless for us --his degree in one of the supposedly most in-demand fields, accounting, still has him working at his same crappy tech support job six months after graduation. But as he said tonight, for at least the past ten years whenever I think of a different career, I always say "I should've gone into nursing." I had to call a source the other day for an article I'm writing for a local magazine about postpartum depression and my source's job title is "director of childbirth education and lactation consultant" and I was envious of her job title. I know you don't start there as a nurse, but that would be my dream job.
I'm afraid that I still won't get a job, because the job market for nurses is not great anymore either. Like accounting, the shortage of nurses appears overblown based on what I've seen. I'm also afraid that I wouldn't be able to get into a labor & delivery nursing specialty too and be stuck in something less desirable. I'm afraid of mean doctors and mean nurses and most of all, hating yet another job field that I thought I'd like.
But I'm going anyway. I'm going to have pay cash as I go since I can no longer get student loans, so it may take me a while. I hope this option finally works out for me, because I don't know what I'll do if it doesn't.