(no subject)
I'm liking the userpic thingy.
Yesterday, I was looking through emails and even though I thought I had purged every single picture and conversation that included her, I found one I'd missed. My first instinct was to delete it without so much as looking at it, but I couldn't help myself. I ended up reading each and every single conversation that we shared that was within that email, and the more I saw, the more I missed it all. I hate myself for taking her for granted, but I was so sure, you know? I didn't think we'd ever end. Little things like her calling me 'baby,' saying she loved me, calling me every night before she went to sleep and always IMing me the second she got on the computer. In a moment of weakness, I sent her a text message that said something along the lines of "I can't seem to stop myself from reading these conversations we've had. I love you more than life, Kristy. Never forget that."
This was last night while I was still at work, but I haven't heard back from her so I'm guessing it didn't exactly have an impact on her. I'd give anything to be as apathetic as she is about the whole thing. Normally, that's how I am. Able to handle things like this without flinching or wavering. Now, I don't even recognize myself anymore.
Some part of my mind can't seem to stop picturing her with other guys. It boggles my mind how a 21-year-old girl could go months without any form of... Yeah... Including doing it herself, after a year of it almost constantly. A lot of things just don't add up to me, I suppose.
Ugh. MOVING ON. Well, it looks like Amber's completely serious about me flying down to Alabama and visiting her sometime in the middle of next month. If I haven't mentioned Amber yet, she's this incredibly attractive blonde that I've known since I was a junior in high school. Needless to say, things would happen. Definitely. There's another girl in Alabama that wants me to visit her, too... And things would definitely happen with her, too. And then there are those girls from the online personals that want to meet me. Hmm. I'm starting to feel better already.
12:15 and time just refuses to move faster. I hate Mondays, but tomorrow's Friday! i think I have a name for the book I'm writing. It fits perfectly, and it has a double meaning of sorts. If I ever finish my book, I'll be striving to get it published. It'd be a dream come true to see a book I've written on a store shelf. I'm excited just thinking about it.
Hmm. Can't think of anything else to say just yet. Might be back later!
Yesterday, I was looking through emails and even though I thought I had purged every single picture and conversation that included her, I found one I'd missed. My first instinct was to delete it without so much as looking at it, but I couldn't help myself. I ended up reading each and every single conversation that we shared that was within that email, and the more I saw, the more I missed it all. I hate myself for taking her for granted, but I was so sure, you know? I didn't think we'd ever end. Little things like her calling me 'baby,' saying she loved me, calling me every night before she went to sleep and always IMing me the second she got on the computer. In a moment of weakness, I sent her a text message that said something along the lines of "I can't seem to stop myself from reading these conversations we've had. I love you more than life, Kristy. Never forget that."
This was last night while I was still at work, but I haven't heard back from her so I'm guessing it didn't exactly have an impact on her. I'd give anything to be as apathetic as she is about the whole thing. Normally, that's how I am. Able to handle things like this without flinching or wavering. Now, I don't even recognize myself anymore.
Some part of my mind can't seem to stop picturing her with other guys. It boggles my mind how a 21-year-old girl could go months without any form of... Yeah... Including doing it herself, after a year of it almost constantly. A lot of things just don't add up to me, I suppose.
Ugh. MOVING ON. Well, it looks like Amber's completely serious about me flying down to Alabama and visiting her sometime in the middle of next month. If I haven't mentioned Amber yet, she's this incredibly attractive blonde that I've known since I was a junior in high school. Needless to say, things would happen. Definitely. There's another girl in Alabama that wants me to visit her, too... And things would definitely happen with her, too. And then there are those girls from the online personals that want to meet me. Hmm. I'm starting to feel better already.
12:15 and time just refuses to move faster. I hate Mondays, but tomorrow's Friday! i think I have a name for the book I'm writing. It fits perfectly, and it has a double meaning of sorts. If I ever finish my book, I'll be striving to get it published. It'd be a dream come true to see a book I've written on a store shelf. I'm excited just thinking about it.
Hmm. Can't think of anything else to say just yet. Might be back later!