Tomorrow Never Knows
Title: Tomorrow Never Knows
Chapters: 1
Rating: NC17/R
Pairing: Richard/Kahlan Kahlan/Other
Characters: Kahlan, Richard and Others (Original)
Timeline: After Season 1
Summary: After defeating Darken Rahl, Richard returns to Aydindril with Kahlan in the hopes of finding a way to be with her, but he cannot stop her from her duty. Oneshot.
Word Count: 4,958
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING
Author's Note: So this I wrote today in like 45 minutes, so I hope that you all enjoy because I have been thinking about this for a while now...!! <3
<3 Please Comment Peeps! <3
"Don't do it," Richard said as he followed her down the hall. She was racing before him, trying to keep some distance between them in the hopes of winning the battle.
For half an hour, he had had been trying to talk her out of a decision she had already made. He stood behind her as she agreed with the High Council that she would wait no longer to take a mate. The words coming her mouth felt like knives stabbing into his body with no end. Within a few hours, she will pick one of the prisoners in the palace dungeon and choose the man who would give her a child. By sundown tomorrow, she will be awaiting him in her bed chambers.
"Richard please," she said as she quickened her pace.
Grabbing her arm, he pulled gently, slowing her as she rounded the corner to her room; her safety. "You can't do this."
"I have to!" She nearly shouted, trying to convince them both that she was doing the right thing. "If I don't, my people will die with me. It is my duty and I must do what is best for my people."
She was fighting her tears, he could see it clearly as she tightened her jaw before him. "Then take me," he whispered.
That was it. Blinking loose the tears, she stumbled back a few steps and shook her head. "I can't."
"Why?"
"Because I love you." She said it as though it was a horrible secret, that would destroy the world. Her body was so still, he thought that she would turn to stone. "Please," she added after a moment of silence. "Don't follow me."
Watching her turn and walk away from him, knowing that he wouldn't her was harder than anything he had ever done. He hoped that she would look back, that she would change her mind, but she didn't do either. He was unable to move as she opened her bedroom door and walked through, disappearing from his sight. Turning around, he walked quickly from her hall, needing to be somewhere he could think. If there was a way to keep her from it all, he was going to find it.
******
The dungeon was colder than usual. Every step she took brought her closer to the end. At the first glance at the men, she almost stopped, turned around and rushed back to him in the hopes that he would forgive her. It was an impossible thought. This was her duty, her fate.
They stared at her in anticipation, waitin for her to choose. She felt sick, the thought of being with any of them made it difficult to breathe. Two of the men were large, standing tall with wide shoulders appearing to be more than one man each. The last one, made her heart pound. He was almost like Richard, in every way. His hair was shorter, his eyes a lighter shade of brown, like honey.
His name was Collin and his confession echoed in her ears. He had murdered his wife and friend, sure that they were having an affair. 'What man would want to be with a woman who was taken by someone else?' It was a question she had been asking herself since she agreed to choose a mate. Once she took another man to her bed, Richard would no longer care for her and it gave her hope that it would help him to find someone else.
"I have made my decision," she said as she turned around.
The council member standing behind her nodded. "He will be sent to your chambers at nightfall tomorrow. You will need the time to prepare." The woman smiled, looking over the Confessor's shoulder at the man she had chosen. "He resembles the new Lord Rahl." Kahlan showed no emotion as she locked eyes with the other brunette. "There is no shame is taking what you desire."
"I have no shame in my desires," she lied softly, pushing Richard's face from her mind. "No one is to know who I have chosen."
"Of course, Mother Confessor."
******
"I know that you're in there, Kahlan." Richard was standing at her door, knocking whey few seconds in desperation.
The two guards, who were always at her door, glanced at each other in confusion. She had never left him standing in the hallway before. The sun had fallen more than three hours earlier and he could stand to be away from her no longer. They could hear her on the other side of the door, sliding something across the floor. Just as he was about to knock again, she opened the door.
"Richard please, you shouldn't be here." The door was only open a crack, making her face the only thing visible.
"I'm not going to leave, I can't."
Shaking her head, she leaned against the door. "You don't want to be here."
"I want to be with you," he replied quietly, taking a single step forward.
She stepped aside and allowed him to push through the door and close it the moment he was inside. She had taken the chair that usually sat beside the head of the bed, closest to the door and moved it across the room. The blankets and pillows from the bed were on the floor beside in the chairs previous position. The curtains were pulled closed on all three large windows. The only light was coming from the two dozen candles that were spread out all around the room. Looking over his shoulder, he waited for her to look back to him, but she couldn't.
"What were you doing?" It all seemed so strange to him. Kahlan rarely spent time in such darkness.
Bringing her eyes to his, she took in a deep breath. "I didn't want to sleep in the bed."
"Why?" he asked, turning around to face her.
"You know why."
His mind flooded with images, the past few weeks of lying in her bed and holding her firmly against him. It was now a different bed and he knew why. He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "You don't have to-"
"Yes I do," she whispered into his chest as she grabbed the sides of his shirt. "You can't stay here."
Her words told him to leave, but the way she held onto him told him not to move. He wanted to tell her that he had figured it out, that she wouldn't have to be with another man, but he couldn't lie to her. Slowly, he lowered them to the bedding on the floor, making sure to keep her pressed against him. Leaning his back against the bed, he pushed out his legs and closed his eyes, savoring the feel of her in his arms. He knew that one day they would be here, but he prayed it would never come.
Pushing away from his chest, she wiped her cheeks quickly, ridding her tears from view. He reached out slowly and cupped her cheek with his right hand. Wiping beneath her eye, he pushed the last tear into her hair and leaned forward. Their lips connected and they pulled each other closer, both desperately needing the other. Lifting her dress, he pulled her onto him, pushing her legs apart so that she straddled his thighs.
He held onto her hips, tightening his hold as she pushed down against him. Her tongue pushed past his lips, colliding with his as she pulled his face closer. He would never get over the feel of her body against his, making him respond in a way that only she could. From the way she was rocking against him, he knew that she was feeling the same thing and it pushed him forward. Running his hands up her thigh, he pushed beneath the fabric of her dress and slowly messaging until she let out a low moan.
Her hands fell to his chest, pulling at his shirt as he leaned forward. As her back hit the blankets, their lips parted long enough for her to pull his shirt from him and toss it aside. The feel of her hands against his skin drove him mad. Every part of him wanted to take her, to make love until they could no longer move, but he couldn't. It wouldn't be long until she realized what they were doing and want to stop.
Without knowing how much time they had left together, Richard was determined to give her everything that he could. He continued lifting her dress as he kissed down her neck, his own body aching for hers in desperation. A cry of pleasure flew out from her lips as he touched her. Reaching between them, she pushed against his hand, needing so much more. The soft moans that escaped her were the most beautiful things he had ever heard and once again, he was pushed onward.
Rocking against his hand, she scraped her fingernails over the skin of his sides. His lips reconnected with hers with a moan, the knowledge that it was him making her lose control hardened him further. Her eyes opened as she pushed her head back into the blankets, revealing the darkness in passion. Her magic was on the edge of release and from the way she bit her lower lip, he knew she was fighting it.
Instantly, he slid his tongue out and ran it over her jaw, moving his fingers faster in the hope of her taking him to be hers forever. "Let go," he whispered into her ear.
There was a small amount of blood coming from her nose as she shook her head, using all of her strength to keep from destroying him. With a strong force, Kahlan pushed him from her body and rolled onto her side, sitting up just as her magic tore free. Her hair waved in the wind of the power of her magic. She gasped for air before covering her mouth with her hands. He couldn't pull his eyes away from her, even from behind, it was beautiful.
When her breath began to return to her, Richard crawled to her side. She jumped the moment he touched her, a part of her still terrified that she would destroy him. It had been close. She didn't know how she managed to hold back for so long and she couldn't make herself forget the way it felt when he touched her. Adverting her eyes, she swallowed back the urge to pull him on top of her again and tried to speak.
Nothing more than a squeak came out before he took her face in his hands and pressed his forehead against hers. He was smiling and she couldn't understand why. Rubbing his thumbs across her cheeks, he pulled back and sighed at the sadness on her face. He tucked a crew strands of her hair behind her ear and then straightened his back.
"I wish that you-"
"Please don't say it," she whispered through tears.
Shaking his head, he pulled his hands from her. "Why not? Is it so wrong that I want to be yours?"
"Yes," she replied honestly. "You know what it would mean."
He grinned, surprising her as he nodded. "Yes, but it doesn't change my mind."
"You should go."
Pulling her into his arms, he laid down, holding her tightly against him. "I'm not leaving you tonight."
******
He hadn't seen her all day. From the moment he woke that morning, she was gone and no one would tell him anything. He was kicked out of her room, told that it must be prepared for the exciting evening. The thought made him sick, filling his mind with imaginary images. He had to keep it from happening.
The events of the night before had made him realize how far he would go for her. He wanted her to touch him with her magic, to claim him as her own and spend the rest of his life with her. After tonight, it would never be an option. After tonight, she would have a family and would no longer want to be with him. This night would destroy him.
Walking the halls of the Confessor's Palace, he tried to find answers. He needed to find her and talk her out of it all; keep her from being with someone who wasn't him. Lost in thought, he walked past the dungeon hall and he froze. The man they were escorting was almost identical to him and suddenly he knew what he had to do. Walking in the opposite direction, he hurried to be sure that he wasn't seen. He now understood why her choice had been kept secret.
The palace was buzzing about it all. At every turn, he was met with a group of servants who talked about what was going to happen. His heart broke at their stories, their recent encounters with Kahlan. She had been crying through her bath, sobbing as the women prepared her for the man that give her a child. She rarely looked up from the floor and when she did, they were certain that she was barely there.
The only time she spoke, was when she was making sure that her requests were heard. Nothing other than the bed was to be touched and the few candles were to be lit before she returned to her room. The final request that she had made was the one that broke his heart. The man was not to be brought to her room before her as they usually were. Kahlan didn't want to undress before him. It all seemed strange to them, but not to Richard. He knew why she wanted it dark, why she had slept on the floor the previous night and they couldn't imagine.
He spent the previous night holding onto her, staring out into the darkness as she silently cried herself to sleep. He wanted to wake her, kiss her and beg her not to leave his arms, but it would break her. She was barely hanging on and he knew that one word from him would destroy her and he couldn't bear to hurt her any more. As he walked down the halls, he was almost certain that he could still feel her against him. Holding her was a memory he would never forget; a memory that would carry him on.
If Zedd was there, he would be following his grandson's every move. He would know what was in his mind and would stop at nothing to keep him from going through with it. Nothing would keep him from her. He may not be able to make love to her, give her the child she needed, but he could be there with her when the other man did. It almost sounded crazy to himself, he knew that Kahlan would not want him there; wouldn't want him to see her with another man, but he wouldn't let her do it alone.
******
It was almost time and his heart was pounding. His breath came in large gulps, trying to calm himself as he walked to her room. It was easy for him to go unnoticed, most of the servants were tending to the High Council for their feast of celebration. Kahlan would have one of her handmaidens with her, one she trusted enough to keep by her side as she finished preparing. The man she had chosen would have no more than three servants with him. Two to be sure he was presentable and the last to be a guard to protect him. As mate to the Mother Confessor, his safety was a priority.
He needed to arrive just after the other man, waiting just long enough for him to reach her bed. As he turned the last corner, he saw the man and waited. He was standing at her door as the servants gave him the final brush to his hair and straightened his clothes. He was smiling, clearly pleased with the opportunity to please his Mistress. It was an honor for him.
To Kahlan's wishes, he was to knock twice and then enter the room. He wasn't to speak and once they had finished, he was to move from her and wait. Richard had learned that day what she had never wanted to tell him. She would not only lay with the man once, but three times. It was a plan to ensure that she was given a child, but it wouldn't be for one night either. This was just the beginning.
Collin knocked and then opened the door, disappearing into the darkness of the bedroom. Closing the door behind him, he walked slowly toward the bed. Kahlan was laying naked above the blankets, her arms crossed over her chest in a small way to conceal herself. She kept her eyes closed, not wanting to look at him yet. "Come to the foot of the bed and remove your clothes," she told him quietly. Running one of her hands over her chest and stomach, she whispered Richard's name in an attempt to make herself believe that it was he she was with.
Standing naked before her, he anxiously awaited his next orders. She licked her lips, looking at the silhouette of the man. The darkness of the room made it possible for her to imagine Richard, making it all a little easier. "I want you to come onto the bed," she said as she softly. "You are to give me a child."
There was no hesitation from the man. He crawled onto the bed, running his hands over her legs as he moved over her. She turned her head away as he went to kiss her, knowing it wouldn't be the same as Richard's kiss. His hands were rough and she couldn't help but see the difference in their touch. This man's touch was almost painful and he hadn't entered her yet. She wanted it to be over.
She jumped as the door opened, Richard rushing inside as Collin reached between her legs. Leaning over the bed, he pressed his lips against hers and pushed his left hand over her stomach. The other man froze in confusion as his Confessor welcomed another man's tongue in her mouth. Keeping their lips connected, she motioned for Collin to continue, wanting him to push inside of her as she kissed the man she loved. Richard continued moving his hand over her, slightly pulling her toward him as he inched onto the bed.
Grabbing his face, she pulled him to her, turning toward him in an attempt to get closer. Their kiss heated quickly as their hands ran over the other in full passion. Collin watched as the other man brought himself nearer, kissing his mistress as he cupped her breasts in his hands. He wanted to stop them and keep her for himself, but the way she moaned told him not to. He would do as she asked and give her a child.
The magic was raising up within her, but she didn't want to let go of him yet. Everything she was afraid of was about to happen and it helped her push him from her. Her back lifted from the bed as the magic tore through the air, a loud cry of pleasure flowing freely from her lips as she fell back to the bed. The moment she was able, she grabbed Richard and brought him back to her. He was slightly confused when she began unlacing his pants, but then he understood. She had just released her magic and she had at least another hour before it would release again.
This was an opportunity he didn't anticipate, this was his chance to show her how much he loved her. He kicked off his boots as Kahlan instructed the other man to step away from her. Richard was above her moments later. The moan that escaped her as he pushed into her was like no other. He filled her instantly, almost losing control at once. He didn't want to break their kiss, but he found it difficult to concentrate as he moved above her.
Her body quivered beneath him, moaning, gasping and crying out in pleasure. His hands roamed over her body, pushing between them in every attempt to give her what she needed. Dropping his head in the crook of her neck, he breathed deeply between grunts, trying to store the moment into his memory. The way she held him to her as he lost control would forever be burned into his mine. Lying motionless above her, he tried to find his breath, wishing she had been able to experience it the way he had. Together.
She combed her fingers through his hair, waiting for her heart to slow its pounding. The feeling of him laying above her, naked with his head on her chest only made it beat faster. Lifting his head, Richard kissed her and rolled them onto their sides. Instantly, she hooked her leg over his and pulled herself closer, closing her eyes as he hugged her tight. There was so much that he wanted say, but he didn't know where to start. With her head pressed beneath his chin, she grinned in spite of herself.
He had done it. He had found a way to be with her without being destroyed and even though she knew it was luck, she couldn't help but feel happy. She wanted to lay in this position forever, but she knew what had to happen next. Collin would return above her and she would close her eyes and imagine that it was Richard she was with because she wouldn't allow him to stay. She could already hear him begging her to let him stay, telling her that what they had done could be done again and it made her smile widen as tears collected in her eyes.
Pulling away, she closed her eyes as she rolled onto her back, hiding her tears as she took in a deep, rugged breath. "You have to go."
Leaning over her, he rested his hand on her stomach and tilted his head in confusion. "What? No Kahlan, I-"
"You shouldn't be here," she whispered. "We shouldn't have- I shouldn't have- Richard, this was a mistake."
Swallowing the pain of her words, he slowly began drawling circles on her stomach with his fingers. "How could this be a mistake? I know that you felt it, Kahlan. We- Our bodies were one and I know that it scares you, but you don't have to be scared."
"Yes, I do."
"Why?"
Turning her head away from him, she opened her eyes and stared at the first piece of the wall she could see. "My mother was in love with my father," she whispered. "That was why she chose him." She smiled, nearly laughing through tears. "She loved him and destroyed everything that he was. She was selfish- she didn't care what she took from him and I- I could never do that to you."
Wiping her cheek with the back of his fingers, he sighed. "It's not the same with me, Kahlan. Your father didn't love your mother. I love you, I want to be with you and I- I want to be yours."
"I don't want to hurt you."
He turned her head toward her and smiled warmly. "You won't."
"I almost did, so many times."
Grabbing her hand, he brought it to his neck and held it there. "Confess me, I want you to."
"I can't," she cried. Pulling her hand back, she grabbed his face and pushed him onto his back, hovering over him. "I don't want to lose you."
Smiling, Richard leaned up and kissed her. "You will never lose me."
Pressing her forehead against his chin, she sighed. "If I confessed you, I would lose you. My magic would take everything that you are and replace it with-"
"More love for you," he completed her sentence for her. "I can't imagine anything better than loving you more."
Lifting her head, she sat up and faced away from him. "I can."
"What?"
She turned her head, looking at him from the corner of her eye. "Someone loving me without being forced to."
He sat up and wrapped his arms around her. Her back was pressed against his chest as he kissed her neck and cheek, holding her tightly as he tried to find the right words to say. "Kahlan, I love you. I have loved you for so long and I haven't been forced to." He spoke between kisses, his nose pushing her hair out of the way just for the brief connection with her skin. "I love you, Kahlan." Her fingers dug into his arms, holding them around her as she blinked loose a rainstorm of tears. There was nothing she wanted more than to be with him, forever but how could she destroy him? "Confess me."
"No," she sobbed, leaning into him as he began moving his hands over her once again.
Grabbing her left breast in his right hand, he squeezed gently, bringing a low moan from within her as she closed her eyes. Richard ignored the other man's eyes on them, watching as he stood before them, naked. "I want to be yours," he whispered into her ear. He tightened his hold on her breast and she parted her lips for breath. "I want to be with you, forever."
"Richard, please..." Her words trailed off into a moan as his other hand moved down her stomach.
"Confess me." Her moan grew louder, her heart pounding as he continued his journey south with his own desire pressing against her back. "Take me, right now. Let go."
"I can't..."
His lips were pressed against her ear, warming it with every breath. "Yes, you can. Let go."
Pulling his hands from her, she turned around and crawled over him, pushing his back to the bed as their lips connected. She was rubbing herself against him, desperately trying to get the pressure where she needed it. Reaching between them, she brought him to her entrance and slowly slid down. Richard's head pushed into the sheets of the bed with a loud moan, his hands grabbing her hips and holding her steady as she rocked slowly. He watched her carefully, taking in every movement, gasp and moan. She was beautiful.
She sat above him, her back bending backward as she quickened her pace. Her hands moved over herself, drawling out an extra moan as she continued to move. Seconds earlier she had lost control and gave into the hunger with her, but now as the magic threatened to release again, she couldn't go through with it. She tried to stop her body, but it wouldn't listen. It hungered for his, ached and begged for a single touch and now that it had experienced his, it never wanted anything else.
"Stop me," she panted. A part of her wanted him to stop her, but the other prayed that he wouldn't.
Sitting up, he pulled her against him. "Never."
Their lips connected for a moment before her magic ripped through him. She watched as his eyes went dark and his lips parted for breath. Taking his face in her hands, she pushed her forehead against his and slowed her body to a stop. "I love you, Richard. I'm so sorry." Moving his head away from hers, he slid his hands up her sides. "I never wanted to hurt you."
He smiled, "You could never hurt me. Your magic couldn't make me love you anymore." She studied his face in shock. He was the same man that she loved. "You felt it, I know you did. When you released your magic into me, we- It was the most amazing thing I have ever felt." His smile widened. "You saw into me, you saw how much I love you and then you let me see the same in you. Kahlan, our words are meaningless in comparison. Our love is so much more than that."
Tears were slowly falling down her cheeks as she stared into his deep brown eyes. She had felt it and she could still feel his love for her burning within her blood. "It was beautiful," she whispered quietly.
Nodding his head, he grinned widely and wiped her cheeks with his thumbs. "It was."
Kahlan looked at the man who fidgeted beside the wall. "Dress yourself and then you may go." Her voice was filled with pain as she looked at the other man and it didn't go unnoticed by Richard. "You are not to speak with anyone."
"Yes, Mistress." With a bow of his head, he began to dress himself.
"What's wrong?" Richard asked as Collin walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Looking back to him, she blinked out a final set of tears. "I wish that I was never with him."
He smiled warmly, understanding how she felt. "You weren't with him, you were with me."
"Richard, I-"
"You didn't know that you had a choice."
"But I did."
Laying down, he crossed his arms behind his head and grinned. "And now you don't have to make a choice."
She couldn't fight the smile that tugged on her lips at the sight of him. "No, but you do."
"I do?" He laughed, shifting his body beneath her. "What are my choices."
Leaning down, she pressed her chest against his. "Sleep," she whispered, brushing her lips against his. "or..."
He released a low moan and rolled them over. "I don't think that I will ever sleep again."
"Good choice."
******The End******
Chapters: 1
Rating: NC17/R
Pairing: Richard/Kahlan Kahlan/Other
Characters: Kahlan, Richard and Others (Original)
Timeline: After Season 1
Summary: After defeating Darken Rahl, Richard returns to Aydindril with Kahlan in the hopes of finding a way to be with her, but he cannot stop her from her duty. Oneshot.
Word Count: 4,958
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING
Author's Note: So this I wrote today in like 45 minutes, so I hope that you all enjoy because I have been thinking about this for a while now...!! <3
<3 Please Comment Peeps! <3
"Don't do it," Richard said as he followed her down the hall. She was racing before him, trying to keep some distance between them in the hopes of winning the battle.
For half an hour, he had had been trying to talk her out of a decision she had already made. He stood behind her as she agreed with the High Council that she would wait no longer to take a mate. The words coming her mouth felt like knives stabbing into his body with no end. Within a few hours, she will pick one of the prisoners in the palace dungeon and choose the man who would give her a child. By sundown tomorrow, she will be awaiting him in her bed chambers.
"Richard please," she said as she quickened her pace.
Grabbing her arm, he pulled gently, slowing her as she rounded the corner to her room; her safety. "You can't do this."
"I have to!" She nearly shouted, trying to convince them both that she was doing the right thing. "If I don't, my people will die with me. It is my duty and I must do what is best for my people."
She was fighting her tears, he could see it clearly as she tightened her jaw before him. "Then take me," he whispered.
That was it. Blinking loose the tears, she stumbled back a few steps and shook her head. "I can't."
"Why?"
"Because I love you." She said it as though it was a horrible secret, that would destroy the world. Her body was so still, he thought that she would turn to stone. "Please," she added after a moment of silence. "Don't follow me."
Watching her turn and walk away from him, knowing that he wouldn't her was harder than anything he had ever done. He hoped that she would look back, that she would change her mind, but she didn't do either. He was unable to move as she opened her bedroom door and walked through, disappearing from his sight. Turning around, he walked quickly from her hall, needing to be somewhere he could think. If there was a way to keep her from it all, he was going to find it.
******
The dungeon was colder than usual. Every step she took brought her closer to the end. At the first glance at the men, she almost stopped, turned around and rushed back to him in the hopes that he would forgive her. It was an impossible thought. This was her duty, her fate.
They stared at her in anticipation, waitin for her to choose. She felt sick, the thought of being with any of them made it difficult to breathe. Two of the men were large, standing tall with wide shoulders appearing to be more than one man each. The last one, made her heart pound. He was almost like Richard, in every way. His hair was shorter, his eyes a lighter shade of brown, like honey.
His name was Collin and his confession echoed in her ears. He had murdered his wife and friend, sure that they were having an affair. 'What man would want to be with a woman who was taken by someone else?' It was a question she had been asking herself since she agreed to choose a mate. Once she took another man to her bed, Richard would no longer care for her and it gave her hope that it would help him to find someone else.
"I have made my decision," she said as she turned around.
The council member standing behind her nodded. "He will be sent to your chambers at nightfall tomorrow. You will need the time to prepare." The woman smiled, looking over the Confessor's shoulder at the man she had chosen. "He resembles the new Lord Rahl." Kahlan showed no emotion as she locked eyes with the other brunette. "There is no shame is taking what you desire."
"I have no shame in my desires," she lied softly, pushing Richard's face from her mind. "No one is to know who I have chosen."
"Of course, Mother Confessor."
******
"I know that you're in there, Kahlan." Richard was standing at her door, knocking whey few seconds in desperation.
The two guards, who were always at her door, glanced at each other in confusion. She had never left him standing in the hallway before. The sun had fallen more than three hours earlier and he could stand to be away from her no longer. They could hear her on the other side of the door, sliding something across the floor. Just as he was about to knock again, she opened the door.
"Richard please, you shouldn't be here." The door was only open a crack, making her face the only thing visible.
"I'm not going to leave, I can't."
Shaking her head, she leaned against the door. "You don't want to be here."
"I want to be with you," he replied quietly, taking a single step forward.
She stepped aside and allowed him to push through the door and close it the moment he was inside. She had taken the chair that usually sat beside the head of the bed, closest to the door and moved it across the room. The blankets and pillows from the bed were on the floor beside in the chairs previous position. The curtains were pulled closed on all three large windows. The only light was coming from the two dozen candles that were spread out all around the room. Looking over his shoulder, he waited for her to look back to him, but she couldn't.
"What were you doing?" It all seemed so strange to him. Kahlan rarely spent time in such darkness.
Bringing her eyes to his, she took in a deep breath. "I didn't want to sleep in the bed."
"Why?" he asked, turning around to face her.
"You know why."
His mind flooded with images, the past few weeks of lying in her bed and holding her firmly against him. It was now a different bed and he knew why. He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms tightly around her. "You don't have to-"
"Yes I do," she whispered into his chest as she grabbed the sides of his shirt. "You can't stay here."
Her words told him to leave, but the way she held onto him told him not to move. He wanted to tell her that he had figured it out, that she wouldn't have to be with another man, but he couldn't lie to her. Slowly, he lowered them to the bedding on the floor, making sure to keep her pressed against him. Leaning his back against the bed, he pushed out his legs and closed his eyes, savoring the feel of her in his arms. He knew that one day they would be here, but he prayed it would never come.
Pushing away from his chest, she wiped her cheeks quickly, ridding her tears from view. He reached out slowly and cupped her cheek with his right hand. Wiping beneath her eye, he pushed the last tear into her hair and leaned forward. Their lips connected and they pulled each other closer, both desperately needing the other. Lifting her dress, he pulled her onto him, pushing her legs apart so that she straddled his thighs.
He held onto her hips, tightening his hold as she pushed down against him. Her tongue pushed past his lips, colliding with his as she pulled his face closer. He would never get over the feel of her body against his, making him respond in a way that only she could. From the way she was rocking against him, he knew that she was feeling the same thing and it pushed him forward. Running his hands up her thigh, he pushed beneath the fabric of her dress and slowly messaging until she let out a low moan.
Her hands fell to his chest, pulling at his shirt as he leaned forward. As her back hit the blankets, their lips parted long enough for her to pull his shirt from him and toss it aside. The feel of her hands against his skin drove him mad. Every part of him wanted to take her, to make love until they could no longer move, but he couldn't. It wouldn't be long until she realized what they were doing and want to stop.
Without knowing how much time they had left together, Richard was determined to give her everything that he could. He continued lifting her dress as he kissed down her neck, his own body aching for hers in desperation. A cry of pleasure flew out from her lips as he touched her. Reaching between them, she pushed against his hand, needing so much more. The soft moans that escaped her were the most beautiful things he had ever heard and once again, he was pushed onward.
Rocking against his hand, she scraped her fingernails over the skin of his sides. His lips reconnected with hers with a moan, the knowledge that it was him making her lose control hardened him further. Her eyes opened as she pushed her head back into the blankets, revealing the darkness in passion. Her magic was on the edge of release and from the way she bit her lower lip, he knew she was fighting it.
Instantly, he slid his tongue out and ran it over her jaw, moving his fingers faster in the hope of her taking him to be hers forever. "Let go," he whispered into her ear.
There was a small amount of blood coming from her nose as she shook her head, using all of her strength to keep from destroying him. With a strong force, Kahlan pushed him from her body and rolled onto her side, sitting up just as her magic tore free. Her hair waved in the wind of the power of her magic. She gasped for air before covering her mouth with her hands. He couldn't pull his eyes away from her, even from behind, it was beautiful.
When her breath began to return to her, Richard crawled to her side. She jumped the moment he touched her, a part of her still terrified that she would destroy him. It had been close. She didn't know how she managed to hold back for so long and she couldn't make herself forget the way it felt when he touched her. Adverting her eyes, she swallowed back the urge to pull him on top of her again and tried to speak.
Nothing more than a squeak came out before he took her face in his hands and pressed his forehead against hers. He was smiling and she couldn't understand why. Rubbing his thumbs across her cheeks, he pulled back and sighed at the sadness on her face. He tucked a crew strands of her hair behind her ear and then straightened his back.
"I wish that you-"
"Please don't say it," she whispered through tears.
Shaking his head, he pulled his hands from her. "Why not? Is it so wrong that I want to be yours?"
"Yes," she replied honestly. "You know what it would mean."
He grinned, surprising her as he nodded. "Yes, but it doesn't change my mind."
"You should go."
Pulling her into his arms, he laid down, holding her tightly against him. "I'm not leaving you tonight."
******
He hadn't seen her all day. From the moment he woke that morning, she was gone and no one would tell him anything. He was kicked out of her room, told that it must be prepared for the exciting evening. The thought made him sick, filling his mind with imaginary images. He had to keep it from happening.
The events of the night before had made him realize how far he would go for her. He wanted her to touch him with her magic, to claim him as her own and spend the rest of his life with her. After tonight, it would never be an option. After tonight, she would have a family and would no longer want to be with him. This night would destroy him.
Walking the halls of the Confessor's Palace, he tried to find answers. He needed to find her and talk her out of it all; keep her from being with someone who wasn't him. Lost in thought, he walked past the dungeon hall and he froze. The man they were escorting was almost identical to him and suddenly he knew what he had to do. Walking in the opposite direction, he hurried to be sure that he wasn't seen. He now understood why her choice had been kept secret.
The palace was buzzing about it all. At every turn, he was met with a group of servants who talked about what was going to happen. His heart broke at their stories, their recent encounters with Kahlan. She had been crying through her bath, sobbing as the women prepared her for the man that give her a child. She rarely looked up from the floor and when she did, they were certain that she was barely there.
The only time she spoke, was when she was making sure that her requests were heard. Nothing other than the bed was to be touched and the few candles were to be lit before she returned to her room. The final request that she had made was the one that broke his heart. The man was not to be brought to her room before her as they usually were. Kahlan didn't want to undress before him. It all seemed strange to them, but not to Richard. He knew why she wanted it dark, why she had slept on the floor the previous night and they couldn't imagine.
He spent the previous night holding onto her, staring out into the darkness as she silently cried herself to sleep. He wanted to wake her, kiss her and beg her not to leave his arms, but it would break her. She was barely hanging on and he knew that one word from him would destroy her and he couldn't bear to hurt her any more. As he walked down the halls, he was almost certain that he could still feel her against him. Holding her was a memory he would never forget; a memory that would carry him on.
If Zedd was there, he would be following his grandson's every move. He would know what was in his mind and would stop at nothing to keep him from going through with it. Nothing would keep him from her. He may not be able to make love to her, give her the child she needed, but he could be there with her when the other man did. It almost sounded crazy to himself, he knew that Kahlan would not want him there; wouldn't want him to see her with another man, but he wouldn't let her do it alone.
******
It was almost time and his heart was pounding. His breath came in large gulps, trying to calm himself as he walked to her room. It was easy for him to go unnoticed, most of the servants were tending to the High Council for their feast of celebration. Kahlan would have one of her handmaidens with her, one she trusted enough to keep by her side as she finished preparing. The man she had chosen would have no more than three servants with him. Two to be sure he was presentable and the last to be a guard to protect him. As mate to the Mother Confessor, his safety was a priority.
He needed to arrive just after the other man, waiting just long enough for him to reach her bed. As he turned the last corner, he saw the man and waited. He was standing at her door as the servants gave him the final brush to his hair and straightened his clothes. He was smiling, clearly pleased with the opportunity to please his Mistress. It was an honor for him.
To Kahlan's wishes, he was to knock twice and then enter the room. He wasn't to speak and once they had finished, he was to move from her and wait. Richard had learned that day what she had never wanted to tell him. She would not only lay with the man once, but three times. It was a plan to ensure that she was given a child, but it wouldn't be for one night either. This was just the beginning.
Collin knocked and then opened the door, disappearing into the darkness of the bedroom. Closing the door behind him, he walked slowly toward the bed. Kahlan was laying naked above the blankets, her arms crossed over her chest in a small way to conceal herself. She kept her eyes closed, not wanting to look at him yet. "Come to the foot of the bed and remove your clothes," she told him quietly. Running one of her hands over her chest and stomach, she whispered Richard's name in an attempt to make herself believe that it was he she was with.
Standing naked before her, he anxiously awaited his next orders. She licked her lips, looking at the silhouette of the man. The darkness of the room made it possible for her to imagine Richard, making it all a little easier. "I want you to come onto the bed," she said as she softly. "You are to give me a child."
There was no hesitation from the man. He crawled onto the bed, running his hands over her legs as he moved over her. She turned her head away as he went to kiss her, knowing it wouldn't be the same as Richard's kiss. His hands were rough and she couldn't help but see the difference in their touch. This man's touch was almost painful and he hadn't entered her yet. She wanted it to be over.
She jumped as the door opened, Richard rushing inside as Collin reached between her legs. Leaning over the bed, he pressed his lips against hers and pushed his left hand over her stomach. The other man froze in confusion as his Confessor welcomed another man's tongue in her mouth. Keeping their lips connected, she motioned for Collin to continue, wanting him to push inside of her as she kissed the man she loved. Richard continued moving his hand over her, slightly pulling her toward him as he inched onto the bed.
Grabbing his face, she pulled him to her, turning toward him in an attempt to get closer. Their kiss heated quickly as their hands ran over the other in full passion. Collin watched as the other man brought himself nearer, kissing his mistress as he cupped her breasts in his hands. He wanted to stop them and keep her for himself, but the way she moaned told him not to. He would do as she asked and give her a child.
The magic was raising up within her, but she didn't want to let go of him yet. Everything she was afraid of was about to happen and it helped her push him from her. Her back lifted from the bed as the magic tore through the air, a loud cry of pleasure flowing freely from her lips as she fell back to the bed. The moment she was able, she grabbed Richard and brought him back to her. He was slightly confused when she began unlacing his pants, but then he understood. She had just released her magic and she had at least another hour before it would release again.
This was an opportunity he didn't anticipate, this was his chance to show her how much he loved her. He kicked off his boots as Kahlan instructed the other man to step away from her. Richard was above her moments later. The moan that escaped her as he pushed into her was like no other. He filled her instantly, almost losing control at once. He didn't want to break their kiss, but he found it difficult to concentrate as he moved above her.
Her body quivered beneath him, moaning, gasping and crying out in pleasure. His hands roamed over her body, pushing between them in every attempt to give her what she needed. Dropping his head in the crook of her neck, he breathed deeply between grunts, trying to store the moment into his memory. The way she held him to her as he lost control would forever be burned into his mine. Lying motionless above her, he tried to find his breath, wishing she had been able to experience it the way he had. Together.
She combed her fingers through his hair, waiting for her heart to slow its pounding. The feeling of him laying above her, naked with his head on her chest only made it beat faster. Lifting his head, Richard kissed her and rolled them onto their sides. Instantly, she hooked her leg over his and pulled herself closer, closing her eyes as he hugged her tight. There was so much that he wanted say, but he didn't know where to start. With her head pressed beneath his chin, she grinned in spite of herself.
He had done it. He had found a way to be with her without being destroyed and even though she knew it was luck, she couldn't help but feel happy. She wanted to lay in this position forever, but she knew what had to happen next. Collin would return above her and she would close her eyes and imagine that it was Richard she was with because she wouldn't allow him to stay. She could already hear him begging her to let him stay, telling her that what they had done could be done again and it made her smile widen as tears collected in her eyes.
Pulling away, she closed her eyes as she rolled onto her back, hiding her tears as she took in a deep, rugged breath. "You have to go."
Leaning over her, he rested his hand on her stomach and tilted his head in confusion. "What? No Kahlan, I-"
"You shouldn't be here," she whispered. "We shouldn't have- I shouldn't have- Richard, this was a mistake."
Swallowing the pain of her words, he slowly began drawling circles on her stomach with his fingers. "How could this be a mistake? I know that you felt it, Kahlan. We- Our bodies were one and I know that it scares you, but you don't have to be scared."
"Yes, I do."
"Why?"
Turning her head away from him, she opened her eyes and stared at the first piece of the wall she could see. "My mother was in love with my father," she whispered. "That was why she chose him." She smiled, nearly laughing through tears. "She loved him and destroyed everything that he was. She was selfish- she didn't care what she took from him and I- I could never do that to you."
Wiping her cheek with the back of his fingers, he sighed. "It's not the same with me, Kahlan. Your father didn't love your mother. I love you, I want to be with you and I- I want to be yours."
"I don't want to hurt you."
He turned her head toward her and smiled warmly. "You won't."
"I almost did, so many times."
Grabbing her hand, he brought it to his neck and held it there. "Confess me, I want you to."
"I can't," she cried. Pulling her hand back, she grabbed his face and pushed him onto his back, hovering over him. "I don't want to lose you."
Smiling, Richard leaned up and kissed her. "You will never lose me."
Pressing her forehead against his chin, she sighed. "If I confessed you, I would lose you. My magic would take everything that you are and replace it with-"
"More love for you," he completed her sentence for her. "I can't imagine anything better than loving you more."
Lifting her head, she sat up and faced away from him. "I can."
"What?"
She turned her head, looking at him from the corner of her eye. "Someone loving me without being forced to."
He sat up and wrapped his arms around her. Her back was pressed against his chest as he kissed her neck and cheek, holding her tightly as he tried to find the right words to say. "Kahlan, I love you. I have loved you for so long and I haven't been forced to." He spoke between kisses, his nose pushing her hair out of the way just for the brief connection with her skin. "I love you, Kahlan." Her fingers dug into his arms, holding them around her as she blinked loose a rainstorm of tears. There was nothing she wanted more than to be with him, forever but how could she destroy him? "Confess me."
"No," she sobbed, leaning into him as he began moving his hands over her once again.
Grabbing her left breast in his right hand, he squeezed gently, bringing a low moan from within her as she closed her eyes. Richard ignored the other man's eyes on them, watching as he stood before them, naked. "I want to be yours," he whispered into her ear. He tightened his hold on her breast and she parted her lips for breath. "I want to be with you, forever."
"Richard, please..." Her words trailed off into a moan as his other hand moved down her stomach.
"Confess me." Her moan grew louder, her heart pounding as he continued his journey south with his own desire pressing against her back. "Take me, right now. Let go."
"I can't..."
His lips were pressed against her ear, warming it with every breath. "Yes, you can. Let go."
Pulling his hands from her, she turned around and crawled over him, pushing his back to the bed as their lips connected. She was rubbing herself against him, desperately trying to get the pressure where she needed it. Reaching between them, she brought him to her entrance and slowly slid down. Richard's head pushed into the sheets of the bed with a loud moan, his hands grabbing her hips and holding her steady as she rocked slowly. He watched her carefully, taking in every movement, gasp and moan. She was beautiful.
She sat above him, her back bending backward as she quickened her pace. Her hands moved over herself, drawling out an extra moan as she continued to move. Seconds earlier she had lost control and gave into the hunger with her, but now as the magic threatened to release again, she couldn't go through with it. She tried to stop her body, but it wouldn't listen. It hungered for his, ached and begged for a single touch and now that it had experienced his, it never wanted anything else.
"Stop me," she panted. A part of her wanted him to stop her, but the other prayed that he wouldn't.
Sitting up, he pulled her against him. "Never."
Their lips connected for a moment before her magic ripped through him. She watched as his eyes went dark and his lips parted for breath. Taking his face in her hands, she pushed her forehead against his and slowed her body to a stop. "I love you, Richard. I'm so sorry." Moving his head away from hers, he slid his hands up her sides. "I never wanted to hurt you."
He smiled, "You could never hurt me. Your magic couldn't make me love you anymore." She studied his face in shock. He was the same man that she loved. "You felt it, I know you did. When you released your magic into me, we- It was the most amazing thing I have ever felt." His smile widened. "You saw into me, you saw how much I love you and then you let me see the same in you. Kahlan, our words are meaningless in comparison. Our love is so much more than that."
Tears were slowly falling down her cheeks as she stared into his deep brown eyes. She had felt it and she could still feel his love for her burning within her blood. "It was beautiful," she whispered quietly.
Nodding his head, he grinned widely and wiped her cheeks with his thumbs. "It was."
Kahlan looked at the man who fidgeted beside the wall. "Dress yourself and then you may go." Her voice was filled with pain as she looked at the other man and it didn't go unnoticed by Richard. "You are not to speak with anyone."
"Yes, Mistress." With a bow of his head, he began to dress himself.
"What's wrong?" Richard asked as Collin walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.
Looking back to him, she blinked out a final set of tears. "I wish that I was never with him."
He smiled warmly, understanding how she felt. "You weren't with him, you were with me."
"Richard, I-"
"You didn't know that you had a choice."
"But I did."
Laying down, he crossed his arms behind his head and grinned. "And now you don't have to make a choice."
She couldn't fight the smile that tugged on her lips at the sight of him. "No, but you do."
"I do?" He laughed, shifting his body beneath her. "What are my choices."
Leaning down, she pressed her chest against his. "Sleep," she whispered, brushing her lips against his. "or..."
He released a low moan and rolled them over. "I don't think that I will ever sleep again."
"Good choice."
******The End******