doing things I have to do...
I just removed a couple of LJ friends that I know IRL. It was rough for me. I have the best hopes for every friendship I pursue, but these friends disappointed me in many ways.
I guess I can understand not making kindness and consideration your *first* priority, but they never treated it like a priority at all, at least towards me. It confuses me. I suppose I've always empathized with others and they don't seem to do this.
The rough part is, these friends (who I still anticipate seeing in my social circle) could make life very difficult by not inviting me to events that my other friends go to. One of them told me point blank that she doesn't give a shit about my friendship and she discounted it as worthless. Apparently I wronged her, she didn't tell me about it, misconstrued my expressions of emotion, and promptly wrote me off as a friend. I didn't know she felt I'd wronged her - she just went ahead and discounted my worth as a friend, and perhaps as a person. The other one broke my heart by allowing me to believe he had feelings he did not have (for me). I don't know what to do with this type of friend. As long as everything stays light and happy, things seem...okay. But when I show emotion, they think I am an idiot and make that clear. What's so wrong with emotion? I always felt that when you told people when what they did hurt you, they'd quit it. Nope, not the case. Communication does nothing here.
It's okay. I can be confused. There are people out there that I can have a good time with, people who will respect my emotions as I respect theirs, and who make it EASY to be with, instead of difficult.
I could write about this in more detail, but it has been on my mind a lot, and there are a lot of words. It would take pages. Expressing the depth of my confusion and sadness would take a while. Why do peoples' definitions of "friend" vary? Sigh.
I guess I can understand not making kindness and consideration your *first* priority, but they never treated it like a priority at all, at least towards me. It confuses me. I suppose I've always empathized with others and they don't seem to do this.
The rough part is, these friends (who I still anticipate seeing in my social circle) could make life very difficult by not inviting me to events that my other friends go to. One of them told me point blank that she doesn't give a shit about my friendship and she discounted it as worthless. Apparently I wronged her, she didn't tell me about it, misconstrued my expressions of emotion, and promptly wrote me off as a friend. I didn't know she felt I'd wronged her - she just went ahead and discounted my worth as a friend, and perhaps as a person. The other one broke my heart by allowing me to believe he had feelings he did not have (for me). I don't know what to do with this type of friend. As long as everything stays light and happy, things seem...okay. But when I show emotion, they think I am an idiot and make that clear. What's so wrong with emotion? I always felt that when you told people when what they did hurt you, they'd quit it. Nope, not the case. Communication does nothing here.
It's okay. I can be confused. There are people out there that I can have a good time with, people who will respect my emotions as I respect theirs, and who make it EASY to be with, instead of difficult.
I could write about this in more detail, but it has been on my mind a lot, and there are a lot of words. It would take pages. Expressing the depth of my confusion and sadness would take a while. Why do peoples' definitions of "friend" vary? Sigh.