Let the Good Times Roll Part 41
Title: Let the Good Times Roll
Author: Concupid
Pairing: Vince/Howard
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: vague references to past non-con, alligator violence,
Summary: Howard gets some reassurance, creepy as it may be.
Author’s note: Writing the last chapter now! I am going to do my best to tie this all together with a satisfying ending. Those of you who stayed with me through 41 chapters deserve it. And it will end up at 42 chapters, always a good number!
Vince hovered, pretending to paint his finger nails, but mainly just ruining the kitchen table by dripping glitter from the brush as he stared at Howard. Sally has warned them in advance what was coming and the envelope had her familiar and soothingly precise handwriting. Inside was a brief note from Sally.
Dear Howard,
An alligator gave this to me while I was fishing. I’m pretty sure that was the first and last time I will ever get Kylie to go fishing with me.
Remember, you don’t have to read it or look at it. I was tempted to burn it myself, but Kylie reminded me that I’m a control freak and this is your decision to make.
Please, please, take care of yourself and Vince.
Howard could see where “Warmest Regards” had been crossed out and replaced with “Love, Sally.” He wondered if Kylie actually told Sally to change it, or if Sally simply knew Kylie would tell her to put something less formal. Howard was familiar with how someone could get into your mind tank and move things around. For better or worse, Howard T.J. Moon would not be the man he was without Vince Noir.
Inside Sally’s envelope was a smaller envelope. He could make out the alligator teeth marks denting the paper, but there was no sign of water damage. Howard briefly wondered what had protected the envelop before Vince yelled, “Open it already! I mean, if you like. It’s your choice, Howard.”
“Thanks, Little Man,” Howard smirked, trying to sound flip though his hands were shaking.
He carefully opened the envelop and unfolded the enclosed letter. The handwriting was awkward and childish, but legible.
My Dearest Howard,
I hope that you and your ladyman are very happy and have not died horribly by anyone’s hands. I’ve met a beautiful lady, myself. She’s an alligator. Her parents didn’t approve at first, but now that we’ve given them grandchildren, they are coming around. They used to bite Old Gregg’s arms and legs and head off, but they barely give him a nibble these days. Old Gregg and Snappy had our first seventy babies, and they are beautiful. They have their mamma’s smile and Old Gregg’s hair. We’re looking forward to more in the spring. Old Gregg’s babies will never be lonely. There’ll be hundreds and hundreds of them, keeping each other company. Old Gregg’s babies don’t have to worry about natural predators, no sir. Old Gregg is what they call an Apex predator. Anything that tries to eat one of Old Gregg’s babies becomes breakfast for Old Gregg’s babies, yes sir. Old Gregg appreciates Howard’s advice about love. Snappy and Old Gregg are very happy. Father has decided he prefers being mounted on the wall. Old Gregg’s babies get a bit bitey and Father’s toes don’t grow back. Howard doesn’t need to worry about him. Howard doesn’t need to worry about anything. If anyone causes Howard trouble, Old Gregg and his babies will be happy to help. Old Gregg’s babies are learning about friendship and being kind from the Star Turtle.
The Star Turtle is teaching Old Gregg about the world, helping him to be a good citizen. Old Gregg is sorry he caused Howard and his ladyman troubles and bad feelings. Star Turtle says Old Gregg was raised with an absence of morals and it made him socially awkward. Old Gregg also spent too much time with Rick James. It’s too late to make amends with Curly Jefferson, but Old Gregg hopes Howard can forgive. Old Gregg will always remember the love times with Howard and hopes there will be a time when Howard can remember the love times with Old Gregg without wanting to scratch off his own skin. Star Turtle says it’s not likely, but Old Gregg is a romantic at heart.
Old Gregg included a drawing of his family. Star Turtle got Old Gregg some books on drawing. Maybe Howard will like these drawings.
Love,
Old Gregg
The drawing featured a cartoonish Old Gregg and what Howard assumed was his wife, Snappy, surrounded by tons of baby alligators in wigs. They were all drawn with big eyes and round cheeks like cartoons. Howard had a feeling Old Gregg’s brood wasn’t quite so cute in real life. He knew for a fact that the cherubic Hitcher (mounted on a piece of driftwood on the wall and minus half a leg) did not have squeezable cheeks. Howard was curious what kind of books the Star Turtle was giving Old Gregg.
“Aww, a chibi Old Gregg! Look at all the babies!”
Howard jumped. He’d forgotten Vince was in the room.
Vince covered his mouth before apologizing. “Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting that.”
“The Star Turtle is helping Old Gregg be less…”
“Psychotic and dangerous?” Vince helpfully offered.
“I was going to say horrifying, but all of the above.”
“I wouldn’t have thought an alligator and a transsexual merman could have babies,” Vince mused as he stood over Howard’s shoulder.
“That’s the aspect of this situation that strikes you as unlikely, is it? You’ve gone wrong, Little Man. I thought you had gone as wrong as humanly possible, sir, but you just took a left and went past wrong…”
“I got stuck on the Wrong roundabout,” Vince deadpanned. “I’ve no idea where I am any more. Last night I woke up in France, riding a cheese horse…”
“Hey there,” Howard interrupted. “That’s one of mine, Sonny Jim.”
Vince smiled, “But so am I, so it works out.”
Vince wiggled his way into Howard’s lap and kissed his cheek before stealing Howard’s Danish.
Howard tried to think of a teasing comeback, but he settled for wrapping his arms around Vince and holding him tight. The letter from Old Gregg was almost reassuring, but Howard was suddenly aware of how tense he’d been since knowing of its existence. He felt ready to melt into a puddle on the floor, and Vince was the only thing holding him together.
Vince fiddled with Howard’s hair and kissed to top of his head.
“See? Everything’s going your way. Old Gregg’s settled down, The Hitcher is slowly being eaten by his grandchildren, your mum is coming over to tea…”
Howard felt the tension returning.
“Don’t get all stiff on me,” Vince ordered, rubbing Howard’s shoulders. “Your mum wants to give us a present for our anniversary and since we’ll be gone next week… Oops!”
Again, Vince clamped his hands over his mouth. After much discussion, Vince suggested they make their official anniversary April 4, the day Vince and Howard met. Vince made the solid point that they’d been a double act from day one, so that’s what they should celebrate. Every time Howard thought he loved Vince as much as was humanly possible, Vince found a way to make Howard love him even more.
“And where will we be next week?” Howard asked, trying to look stern. In reality, he didn’t care if Vince had them booked as a house band for Top Shop. He just needed to be with Vince.
But he still needed to keep up appearances. Howard Moon still had his dignity.
Vince jumped out of Howard’s lap and grabbed a box of sugary cereal from the shelf. It was a brand that Howard would never touch. It was sugar-coated, candy flavored abomination called Kaptain Kavity.
Howard watched as Vince dug around the box and found the prize. After having Howard apply the temporary Kaptain Kavity tattoo to his lower back, Vince said “Kylie calls these tramp stamps. Do you suppose a lot of homeless people in the states have sexy tattoos?”
“I believe tramp is a term for a lady of dubious virtue over there,” Howard explained.
Vince laughed, “That’s me! I’ll call it my slag tag.”
Howard gave Vince’s rear a slap and reminded him he was supposed to be answering a question.
Vince slapped his forehead and dug back into the box of cereal, producing an envelope which he held triumphantly above his head, “We’re going to Bird Place!”
Howard tried to look excited.
“You know,” Vince prompted, looking disappointed. “Where they play your boring jazz. In New York City. Where Charlie Bird Parkie played.”
Howard took a moment to translate Vince-ese into proper English.
“Birdland?” he asked, almost afraid to get his hopes up. The original Birdland, named for Charlie Parker, had closed years ago, but it was still a great jazz club. If Howard had learned anything in the past year, it was to embrace change. Even if it sometimes made you break out in hives or get the chokes, it was important to embrace life’s natural evolution.
“Birdland!” Vince yelled. “Sally and Kylie are gonna be at a conference in New York and they’re going to show us around. We’re gonna go to the Bronx Zoo and some museums and we’re going to eat at Sardi’s just like the Muppets. Sally says they have a picture of Kermit on the wall and everything!”
Howard wrapped his arms around Vince’s waist and held him close. He didn’t trust himself to speak without blubbering like a baby.
“Told you I had a proper anniversary gift,” Vince teased as he showed Howard the contents of the envelope. “I got the plane tickets, the hotel reservations, a bribe for the skycap to throw your luggage away so you have to buy proper clothes when we get there…”
“Or I could just borrow your clothes,” Howard suggested, trying to make his voice low and sexy. “And some of your eye liner…”
Howard staggered to stay on his feet as Vince jumped into his arms, wrapping his legs around Howard’s waist.
“That’s it, Moon. We’ve got two hours to shag until your mother gets here, and I am going to do everything do you,” Vince promised between eager kisses. “Everything.”
Howard gripped Vince’s rear, ostensibly to keep him from falling to the floor, and returned his kisses with equal ardor.
“Wanna take it upstairs?” Naboo suggested from his seat across the kitchen table. “Bollo and I are trying to eat?”
“Sorry, Naboo,” Howard apologized, moving towards the stairs with Vince still in his arms (and sucking on his neck). “We’ll try to be quiet.”
As he awkwardly made his way up the stairs, he heard Bollo speaking to Naboo.
“Eat faster. Bollo have a bad feeling about this. Be losing appetite soon.”
Howard felt guilty for a moment. Vince was taking him to Birdland. He had no intention of being quiet.
Author: Concupid
Pairing: Vince/Howard
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: vague references to past non-con, alligator violence,
Summary: Howard gets some reassurance, creepy as it may be.
Author’s note: Writing the last chapter now! I am going to do my best to tie this all together with a satisfying ending. Those of you who stayed with me through 41 chapters deserve it. And it will end up at 42 chapters, always a good number!
Vince hovered, pretending to paint his finger nails, but mainly just ruining the kitchen table by dripping glitter from the brush as he stared at Howard. Sally has warned them in advance what was coming and the envelope had her familiar and soothingly precise handwriting. Inside was a brief note from Sally.
Dear Howard,
An alligator gave this to me while I was fishing. I’m pretty sure that was the first and last time I will ever get Kylie to go fishing with me.
Remember, you don’t have to read it or look at it. I was tempted to burn it myself, but Kylie reminded me that I’m a control freak and this is your decision to make.
Please, please, take care of yourself and Vince.
Howard could see where “Warmest Regards” had been crossed out and replaced with “Love, Sally.” He wondered if Kylie actually told Sally to change it, or if Sally simply knew Kylie would tell her to put something less formal. Howard was familiar with how someone could get into your mind tank and move things around. For better or worse, Howard T.J. Moon would not be the man he was without Vince Noir.
Inside Sally’s envelope was a smaller envelope. He could make out the alligator teeth marks denting the paper, but there was no sign of water damage. Howard briefly wondered what had protected the envelop before Vince yelled, “Open it already! I mean, if you like. It’s your choice, Howard.”
“Thanks, Little Man,” Howard smirked, trying to sound flip though his hands were shaking.
He carefully opened the envelop and unfolded the enclosed letter. The handwriting was awkward and childish, but legible.
My Dearest Howard,
I hope that you and your ladyman are very happy and have not died horribly by anyone’s hands. I’ve met a beautiful lady, myself. She’s an alligator. Her parents didn’t approve at first, but now that we’ve given them grandchildren, they are coming around. They used to bite Old Gregg’s arms and legs and head off, but they barely give him a nibble these days. Old Gregg and Snappy had our first seventy babies, and they are beautiful. They have their mamma’s smile and Old Gregg’s hair. We’re looking forward to more in the spring. Old Gregg’s babies will never be lonely. There’ll be hundreds and hundreds of them, keeping each other company. Old Gregg’s babies don’t have to worry about natural predators, no sir. Old Gregg is what they call an Apex predator. Anything that tries to eat one of Old Gregg’s babies becomes breakfast for Old Gregg’s babies, yes sir. Old Gregg appreciates Howard’s advice about love. Snappy and Old Gregg are very happy. Father has decided he prefers being mounted on the wall. Old Gregg’s babies get a bit bitey and Father’s toes don’t grow back. Howard doesn’t need to worry about him. Howard doesn’t need to worry about anything. If anyone causes Howard trouble, Old Gregg and his babies will be happy to help. Old Gregg’s babies are learning about friendship and being kind from the Star Turtle.
The Star Turtle is teaching Old Gregg about the world, helping him to be a good citizen. Old Gregg is sorry he caused Howard and his ladyman troubles and bad feelings. Star Turtle says Old Gregg was raised with an absence of morals and it made him socially awkward. Old Gregg also spent too much time with Rick James. It’s too late to make amends with Curly Jefferson, but Old Gregg hopes Howard can forgive. Old Gregg will always remember the love times with Howard and hopes there will be a time when Howard can remember the love times with Old Gregg without wanting to scratch off his own skin. Star Turtle says it’s not likely, but Old Gregg is a romantic at heart.
Old Gregg included a drawing of his family. Star Turtle got Old Gregg some books on drawing. Maybe Howard will like these drawings.
Love,
Old Gregg
The drawing featured a cartoonish Old Gregg and what Howard assumed was his wife, Snappy, surrounded by tons of baby alligators in wigs. They were all drawn with big eyes and round cheeks like cartoons. Howard had a feeling Old Gregg’s brood wasn’t quite so cute in real life. He knew for a fact that the cherubic Hitcher (mounted on a piece of driftwood on the wall and minus half a leg) did not have squeezable cheeks. Howard was curious what kind of books the Star Turtle was giving Old Gregg.
“Aww, a chibi Old Gregg! Look at all the babies!”
Howard jumped. He’d forgotten Vince was in the room.
Vince covered his mouth before apologizing. “Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting that.”
“The Star Turtle is helping Old Gregg be less…”
“Psychotic and dangerous?” Vince helpfully offered.
“I was going to say horrifying, but all of the above.”
“I wouldn’t have thought an alligator and a transsexual merman could have babies,” Vince mused as he stood over Howard’s shoulder.
“That’s the aspect of this situation that strikes you as unlikely, is it? You’ve gone wrong, Little Man. I thought you had gone as wrong as humanly possible, sir, but you just took a left and went past wrong…”
“I got stuck on the Wrong roundabout,” Vince deadpanned. “I’ve no idea where I am any more. Last night I woke up in France, riding a cheese horse…”
“Hey there,” Howard interrupted. “That’s one of mine, Sonny Jim.”
Vince smiled, “But so am I, so it works out.”
Vince wiggled his way into Howard’s lap and kissed his cheek before stealing Howard’s Danish.
Howard tried to think of a teasing comeback, but he settled for wrapping his arms around Vince and holding him tight. The letter from Old Gregg was almost reassuring, but Howard was suddenly aware of how tense he’d been since knowing of its existence. He felt ready to melt into a puddle on the floor, and Vince was the only thing holding him together.
Vince fiddled with Howard’s hair and kissed to top of his head.
“See? Everything’s going your way. Old Gregg’s settled down, The Hitcher is slowly being eaten by his grandchildren, your mum is coming over to tea…”
Howard felt the tension returning.
“Don’t get all stiff on me,” Vince ordered, rubbing Howard’s shoulders. “Your mum wants to give us a present for our anniversary and since we’ll be gone next week… Oops!”
Again, Vince clamped his hands over his mouth. After much discussion, Vince suggested they make their official anniversary April 4, the day Vince and Howard met. Vince made the solid point that they’d been a double act from day one, so that’s what they should celebrate. Every time Howard thought he loved Vince as much as was humanly possible, Vince found a way to make Howard love him even more.
“And where will we be next week?” Howard asked, trying to look stern. In reality, he didn’t care if Vince had them booked as a house band for Top Shop. He just needed to be with Vince.
But he still needed to keep up appearances. Howard Moon still had his dignity.
Vince jumped out of Howard’s lap and grabbed a box of sugary cereal from the shelf. It was a brand that Howard would never touch. It was sugar-coated, candy flavored abomination called Kaptain Kavity.
Howard watched as Vince dug around the box and found the prize. After having Howard apply the temporary Kaptain Kavity tattoo to his lower back, Vince said “Kylie calls these tramp stamps. Do you suppose a lot of homeless people in the states have sexy tattoos?”
“I believe tramp is a term for a lady of dubious virtue over there,” Howard explained.
Vince laughed, “That’s me! I’ll call it my slag tag.”
Howard gave Vince’s rear a slap and reminded him he was supposed to be answering a question.
Vince slapped his forehead and dug back into the box of cereal, producing an envelope which he held triumphantly above his head, “We’re going to Bird Place!”
Howard tried to look excited.
“You know,” Vince prompted, looking disappointed. “Where they play your boring jazz. In New York City. Where Charlie Bird Parkie played.”
Howard took a moment to translate Vince-ese into proper English.
“Birdland?” he asked, almost afraid to get his hopes up. The original Birdland, named for Charlie Parker, had closed years ago, but it was still a great jazz club. If Howard had learned anything in the past year, it was to embrace change. Even if it sometimes made you break out in hives or get the chokes, it was important to embrace life’s natural evolution.
“Birdland!” Vince yelled. “Sally and Kylie are gonna be at a conference in New York and they’re going to show us around. We’re gonna go to the Bronx Zoo and some museums and we’re going to eat at Sardi’s just like the Muppets. Sally says they have a picture of Kermit on the wall and everything!”
Howard wrapped his arms around Vince’s waist and held him close. He didn’t trust himself to speak without blubbering like a baby.
“Told you I had a proper anniversary gift,” Vince teased as he showed Howard the contents of the envelope. “I got the plane tickets, the hotel reservations, a bribe for the skycap to throw your luggage away so you have to buy proper clothes when we get there…”
“Or I could just borrow your clothes,” Howard suggested, trying to make his voice low and sexy. “And some of your eye liner…”
Howard staggered to stay on his feet as Vince jumped into his arms, wrapping his legs around Howard’s waist.
“That’s it, Moon. We’ve got two hours to shag until your mother gets here, and I am going to do everything do you,” Vince promised between eager kisses. “Everything.”
Howard gripped Vince’s rear, ostensibly to keep him from falling to the floor, and returned his kisses with equal ardor.
“Wanna take it upstairs?” Naboo suggested from his seat across the kitchen table. “Bollo and I are trying to eat?”
“Sorry, Naboo,” Howard apologized, moving towards the stairs with Vince still in his arms (and sucking on his neck). “We’ll try to be quiet.”
As he awkwardly made his way up the stairs, he heard Bollo speaking to Naboo.
“Eat faster. Bollo have a bad feeling about this. Be losing appetite soon.”
Howard felt guilty for a moment. Vince was taking him to Birdland. He had no intention of being quiet.