Pancake Night Part 10
Title: Pancake Night
Author: Concupid
Rating: R
Pairing: Vince/Howard
Warnings: not enough sex and too much angst
Summary: Howard builds a house of cards
Author's note: I really struggled with this part so I put some Bailey's in my coffee (not in a shoe) and went to town! Comments are dearly appreciated. I dip them in my coffee (who am I kidding, I put a little coffee in my Bailey's!) and eat them up.
It was less of a house of cards than a palace. It covered the entire sideboard and required every souvenir deck of cards his father had ever collected. Howard surveyed his masterpiece with pride, for once unable to find a single flaw in his creation. He was so absorbed in his thoughts, he didn't hear his father enter the room.
If he'd been able to prepare himself, he would have enjoyed the feeling of his father's hand on his shoulder. He would have been grateful for the increasingly rare display of fatherly affection.
Instead, he instinctively leapt away from the unexpected contact and bumped the sideboard. As Howard watched two days of work collapse in the blink of an eye, his father yelled, "What the hell is wrong with you?"
It wasn't something his father normally said out loud but the question was written across his face on a daily basis. Howard could talk. He talked in his sleep. All the specialists said he was fine. It was psychological. He was just mental.
Howard didn't flinch when his father grabbed him by the arm and spun him around, he could see it coming. As his father shook him and repeated his inquiry with even saltier language, Howard remembered how he had seen the car coming towards him and how he had known the car was coming for him. No one was injured in the accident but Howard.
"I want to go back to school."
His voice was raspy from lack of use and it sounded strange to his own ears. It was nice to see his father smile and even nicer to see his Mum look happy for the first time in months when she ran into the room. They took him out for ice cream and when they came home, his father joked that they should rebuild his card palace but this time they'd use Pritt Stick.
Howard smiled and said, "Sure, Dad," but he knew there wasn't enough adhesive in the world to keep him from destroying the things he cared about.
xxx
Howard ran his hands over Vince's painfully thin body and tried not to worry about Sebastian. Saboo was probably the most sensible member of the Shaman council.
And the sequined navy blue was probably the most sensible of Vince's jumpsuits. The American was probably snogging Tony Harrison while Dennis stood over them stroking his sword.
Yet another Moon casualty.
"Are you thinking about Sebastian?"
Howard was startled by Vince's clairvoyance.
Vince let out a mirthless laugh and lifted himself off of Howard. For a moment, Howard thought Vince was going to leave but instead the younger man simply sat straddling Howard's waist, completely naked, and mussing his own hair. Vince only messed up his precious hair when he was overly tired or upset.
Howard gave Vince's thigh an awkward pat, "It's been a long day for you, Little Man, maybe you should get some sleep."
Vince tugged at the bottom of Howard's sweater, wearing an unusually pensive expression.
He wished Vince would just take the out and stop trying to be so nice. He felt pathetic enough without Vince's well-meaning pity.
"S'all right," Vince said after some thought, "I don't mind if you think about Sebastian. He's all right, yeah? Good taste in clothes n'all."
Before Howard could respond or decipher his friend's ramblings, Vince was kissing him again, his agile tongue teasing the inside of Howard's mouth. Now that he had something to compare it to, Howard could appreciate Vince's kisses even more. There was something so tender about the way he used his lips and tongue. Howard had tried to imitate Vince's technique when he'd made love to Vince (and it had been making love for Howard) and while he was sure he didn't come close in skill, Vince had seemed to enjoy the experience. Howard would never forget the sounds Vince had made or the sweet look on his face and Howard utterly failed to explain why he couldn't enjoy a simple, friendly touch.
Howard felt a rush of embarrassment as he thought about what he had so recently done to his best friend. It wasn't exactly what he'd had planned but Vince had been so quiet and agreeable. Howard had taken his time and given Vince plenty of opportunity to stop him.
Would Vince have stopped him? His lifelong mate had seemed so jealous and threatened by Sebastian who was clearly only interested in Howard when Vince was out of the room. Howard felt confident that Sebastian would have snogged Kodiak Jack with same fervor he'd kissed Howard. The kid was off his tits. If anything, it should have been Howard who was jealous of Sebastian, with his perfect skin and flat stomach, kissing and caressing Vince and telling him how beautiful he was when Howard had never dared.
Had never dared until tonight.
He couldn't believe Vince was willing to kiss him after all that. How were they going to look each other in the eye with Vince knowing the depths of Howard's perversion?
But then, nothing ever seemed to bother Vince. Howard was a mental case who didn't speak for a year. Vince thought it was "genius". Howard panicked when people, even close friends, touched him. Vince said, "Okay." Howard's parents dumped him with Vince's father his last year of school so they could move back to Leeds and try to save their marriage; Vince threw a party to celebrate.
Howard couldn't trust himself not to coerce a stoned stranger into sex so Vince offered himself up in Sebastian's place; doggedly trying to make it work through Howard's panicky awkwardness and a split lip.
Even though it had broken his heart to see Vince still crying over Howard's thoughtless comments about the zoo, it still turned him on to watch his friend being groped by the amorous Sebastian. He tried to convince himself it would be all right if he didn't ask anything of Vince, if he just got Vince off without expecting anything in return. In reality, whatever pleasure Vince had received from the experience was nothing compared to Howard's. He'd been fantasizing about his beautiful friend for so long, it felt like a sickness.
Howard ran his fingers through the raven black hair and tried to emulate Vince's kisses - knowing his attempts were awkward at best. He felt oversized as he held Vince, like a grown-up sitting at a child's desk.
Vince was tugging at the bottom of his rollneck and Howard reluctantly sat up and allowed himself to be stripped of the garment. Vince immediately zeroed in on the scars on Howard's shoulder, the only physical damage from the car accident. Vince pushed Howard onto his back and kissed and licked the scars with surprising eagerness. Vince had been rather passive, maybe even reluctant during their earlier interactions. For all his seeming confidence as he rattled off a shopping list of things he was willing to do, when it had actually come time to touch Howard - he'd been clearly uncomfortable. His touch had been so light that, keyed up as he was, Howard worried he wouldn't be able to get off.
Howard groaned as Vince sucked on his nipple, he had never really thought of men's nipples as have a purpose other than gauging really cold weather.
Vince laughed, "Like that?"
"Mmm-hmm."
Vince moved to the other nipple as his hand stroked the thin lines of Howard's scars.
As Vince scooted backwards, his backside brushed against Howard's erection. Vince jumped and covered his face, giggling, "Oi. This is well weird, Howard."
Howard had to smile at Vince's childish reaction. Nothing in the cold and ugly real world seemed to touch or change Vince, he just stayed the same sweet lunatic who had seen Howard as "well funny" as a child when everyone else saw "deeply troubled" or "future sociopath".
"You don't have to do this, Vince..."
"I want to! I can do this," Vince insisted vehemently as he reached back to stroke Howard's cock with the same reticent grip, "Just give me a chance."
Howard took a deep breath and rolled Vince onto the bed so he could stand up. He was never going to be able to think clearly with Vince touching him and he needed a moment to think. There had to be something they could do that wouldn't make Vince uncomfortable.
Maybe something Vince would be willing to do again in the future. Howard shook his head. It wasn't time to start deluding himself that this was anything but a one time event. The delusions could wait until tomorrow.
"No!" Vince yelled loud enough to make Howard jump, "You always do this! I make one little mistake and you're done with me. What makes Sebastian so fucking perfect and special and worthy? Cause he likes jazz? Big deal! How's liking jazz going to save you from Mod wolves or getting married to a merman? Cause he wears stupid glasses so he must be smart like Gideon and Milky Joe? They never did nuthin' for you but make you feel bad about yourself. You think someone can't be smart unless they see something wrong with you and you think I'm stupid because I love you."
Howard felt the familiar seizing of the vocal chords and the accompanying panic. He didn't notice Vince reaching out for him. When the hand touched his arm, he slapped it away defensively and watched Vince's face fall like a palace of cards.
Author: Concupid
Rating: R
Pairing: Vince/Howard
Warnings: not enough sex and too much angst
Summary: Howard builds a house of cards
Author's note: I really struggled with this part so I put some Bailey's in my coffee (not in a shoe) and went to town! Comments are dearly appreciated. I dip them in my coffee (who am I kidding, I put a little coffee in my Bailey's!) and eat them up.
It was less of a house of cards than a palace. It covered the entire sideboard and required every souvenir deck of cards his father had ever collected. Howard surveyed his masterpiece with pride, for once unable to find a single flaw in his creation. He was so absorbed in his thoughts, he didn't hear his father enter the room.
If he'd been able to prepare himself, he would have enjoyed the feeling of his father's hand on his shoulder. He would have been grateful for the increasingly rare display of fatherly affection.
Instead, he instinctively leapt away from the unexpected contact and bumped the sideboard. As Howard watched two days of work collapse in the blink of an eye, his father yelled, "What the hell is wrong with you?"
It wasn't something his father normally said out loud but the question was written across his face on a daily basis. Howard could talk. He talked in his sleep. All the specialists said he was fine. It was psychological. He was just mental.
Howard didn't flinch when his father grabbed him by the arm and spun him around, he could see it coming. As his father shook him and repeated his inquiry with even saltier language, Howard remembered how he had seen the car coming towards him and how he had known the car was coming for him. No one was injured in the accident but Howard.
"I want to go back to school."
His voice was raspy from lack of use and it sounded strange to his own ears. It was nice to see his father smile and even nicer to see his Mum look happy for the first time in months when she ran into the room. They took him out for ice cream and when they came home, his father joked that they should rebuild his card palace but this time they'd use Pritt Stick.
Howard smiled and said, "Sure, Dad," but he knew there wasn't enough adhesive in the world to keep him from destroying the things he cared about.
xxx
Howard ran his hands over Vince's painfully thin body and tried not to worry about Sebastian. Saboo was probably the most sensible member of the Shaman council.
And the sequined navy blue was probably the most sensible of Vince's jumpsuits. The American was probably snogging Tony Harrison while Dennis stood over them stroking his sword.
Yet another Moon casualty.
"Are you thinking about Sebastian?"
Howard was startled by Vince's clairvoyance.
Vince let out a mirthless laugh and lifted himself off of Howard. For a moment, Howard thought Vince was going to leave but instead the younger man simply sat straddling Howard's waist, completely naked, and mussing his own hair. Vince only messed up his precious hair when he was overly tired or upset.
Howard gave Vince's thigh an awkward pat, "It's been a long day for you, Little Man, maybe you should get some sleep."
Vince tugged at the bottom of Howard's sweater, wearing an unusually pensive expression.
He wished Vince would just take the out and stop trying to be so nice. He felt pathetic enough without Vince's well-meaning pity.
"S'all right," Vince said after some thought, "I don't mind if you think about Sebastian. He's all right, yeah? Good taste in clothes n'all."
Before Howard could respond or decipher his friend's ramblings, Vince was kissing him again, his agile tongue teasing the inside of Howard's mouth. Now that he had something to compare it to, Howard could appreciate Vince's kisses even more. There was something so tender about the way he used his lips and tongue. Howard had tried to imitate Vince's technique when he'd made love to Vince (and it had been making love for Howard) and while he was sure he didn't come close in skill, Vince had seemed to enjoy the experience. Howard would never forget the sounds Vince had made or the sweet look on his face and Howard utterly failed to explain why he couldn't enjoy a simple, friendly touch.
Howard felt a rush of embarrassment as he thought about what he had so recently done to his best friend. It wasn't exactly what he'd had planned but Vince had been so quiet and agreeable. Howard had taken his time and given Vince plenty of opportunity to stop him.
Would Vince have stopped him? His lifelong mate had seemed so jealous and threatened by Sebastian who was clearly only interested in Howard when Vince was out of the room. Howard felt confident that Sebastian would have snogged Kodiak Jack with same fervor he'd kissed Howard. The kid was off his tits. If anything, it should have been Howard who was jealous of Sebastian, with his perfect skin and flat stomach, kissing and caressing Vince and telling him how beautiful he was when Howard had never dared.
Had never dared until tonight.
He couldn't believe Vince was willing to kiss him after all that. How were they going to look each other in the eye with Vince knowing the depths of Howard's perversion?
But then, nothing ever seemed to bother Vince. Howard was a mental case who didn't speak for a year. Vince thought it was "genius". Howard panicked when people, even close friends, touched him. Vince said, "Okay." Howard's parents dumped him with Vince's father his last year of school so they could move back to Leeds and try to save their marriage; Vince threw a party to celebrate.
Howard couldn't trust himself not to coerce a stoned stranger into sex so Vince offered himself up in Sebastian's place; doggedly trying to make it work through Howard's panicky awkwardness and a split lip.
Even though it had broken his heart to see Vince still crying over Howard's thoughtless comments about the zoo, it still turned him on to watch his friend being groped by the amorous Sebastian. He tried to convince himself it would be all right if he didn't ask anything of Vince, if he just got Vince off without expecting anything in return. In reality, whatever pleasure Vince had received from the experience was nothing compared to Howard's. He'd been fantasizing about his beautiful friend for so long, it felt like a sickness.
Howard ran his fingers through the raven black hair and tried to emulate Vince's kisses - knowing his attempts were awkward at best. He felt oversized as he held Vince, like a grown-up sitting at a child's desk.
Vince was tugging at the bottom of his rollneck and Howard reluctantly sat up and allowed himself to be stripped of the garment. Vince immediately zeroed in on the scars on Howard's shoulder, the only physical damage from the car accident. Vince pushed Howard onto his back and kissed and licked the scars with surprising eagerness. Vince had been rather passive, maybe even reluctant during their earlier interactions. For all his seeming confidence as he rattled off a shopping list of things he was willing to do, when it had actually come time to touch Howard - he'd been clearly uncomfortable. His touch had been so light that, keyed up as he was, Howard worried he wouldn't be able to get off.
Howard groaned as Vince sucked on his nipple, he had never really thought of men's nipples as have a purpose other than gauging really cold weather.
Vince laughed, "Like that?"
"Mmm-hmm."
Vince moved to the other nipple as his hand stroked the thin lines of Howard's scars.
As Vince scooted backwards, his backside brushed against Howard's erection. Vince jumped and covered his face, giggling, "Oi. This is well weird, Howard."
Howard had to smile at Vince's childish reaction. Nothing in the cold and ugly real world seemed to touch or change Vince, he just stayed the same sweet lunatic who had seen Howard as "well funny" as a child when everyone else saw "deeply troubled" or "future sociopath".
"You don't have to do this, Vince..."
"I want to! I can do this," Vince insisted vehemently as he reached back to stroke Howard's cock with the same reticent grip, "Just give me a chance."
Howard took a deep breath and rolled Vince onto the bed so he could stand up. He was never going to be able to think clearly with Vince touching him and he needed a moment to think. There had to be something they could do that wouldn't make Vince uncomfortable.
Maybe something Vince would be willing to do again in the future. Howard shook his head. It wasn't time to start deluding himself that this was anything but a one time event. The delusions could wait until tomorrow.
"No!" Vince yelled loud enough to make Howard jump, "You always do this! I make one little mistake and you're done with me. What makes Sebastian so fucking perfect and special and worthy? Cause he likes jazz? Big deal! How's liking jazz going to save you from Mod wolves or getting married to a merman? Cause he wears stupid glasses so he must be smart like Gideon and Milky Joe? They never did nuthin' for you but make you feel bad about yourself. You think someone can't be smart unless they see something wrong with you and you think I'm stupid because I love you."
Howard felt the familiar seizing of the vocal chords and the accompanying panic. He didn't notice Vince reaching out for him. When the hand touched his arm, he slapped it away defensively and watched Vince's face fall like a palace of cards.