drifting...
I'm feeling a bit blah today... partly due to my plans for yesterday not working out, but mostly I think it's the weather and work...
It's impossible for me to not be upset about yesterday, but I'm not upset with anyone - especially not Kel... I'm just upset that my plans went wonky on me, y'know? Happens to everyone from time to time, but I guess it stinks more because we *both* were looking forward to certain aspects of my visit... she's bummed about getting sick and our plans being shot because of it, I'm bummed because she's sick and that I can't be there to give her some TLC and make her feel better - and about our plans being shot... heh...
The weather is the suck right now... grey, intermittent rain, overcast, cold.... very London-y or Seattle-ish... and this does not contribute to a positive outlook on things...
Work just bugs me... I've got more responsibility now, and people relying on my doing things right... and I can't seem to make things go right all the time... it's frustrating.. and it's the little things that are the stumbling blocks - not the big grandiose things that I could probably fix... I just have to stop forgetting things... double and triple check things until it becomes second nature to me... and the kitchen is *NOT* second nature to me... I love to cook, don't get me wrong, I just don't like having to cook for 150-200 people every day... grrr! I have coolies that do the grunt-level prep work, but it's up to me to make sure that the big items get prepped in a timely fashion too... no one to blame for things not getting done but myself... and as much as I hate kitchen work, I seriously hate doing shit half-assed... I'm a lazy person, which means that I want to get it done right the first time so I can screw around the remainder of the time...
Practice-practice-practice... if I can just quit forgetting things one at a time, then by the time February is over, I should have a grip on things... it's just surviving the chats with my boss in the mean time are going to be painful... nothing like a 'talking to' when you have only yourself to blame, eh? heh...
One thing at a time, one day at a time, one item on the list at a time... all will (eventually) be well....
It's impossible for me to not be upset about yesterday, but I'm not upset with anyone - especially not Kel... I'm just upset that my plans went wonky on me, y'know? Happens to everyone from time to time, but I guess it stinks more because we *both* were looking forward to certain aspects of my visit... she's bummed about getting sick and our plans being shot because of it, I'm bummed because she's sick and that I can't be there to give her some TLC and make her feel better - and about our plans being shot... heh...
The weather is the suck right now... grey, intermittent rain, overcast, cold.... very London-y or Seattle-ish... and this does not contribute to a positive outlook on things...
Work just bugs me... I've got more responsibility now, and people relying on my doing things right... and I can't seem to make things go right all the time... it's frustrating.. and it's the little things that are the stumbling blocks - not the big grandiose things that I could probably fix... I just have to stop forgetting things... double and triple check things until it becomes second nature to me... and the kitchen is *NOT* second nature to me... I love to cook, don't get me wrong, I just don't like having to cook for 150-200 people every day... grrr! I have coolies that do the grunt-level prep work, but it's up to me to make sure that the big items get prepped in a timely fashion too... no one to blame for things not getting done but myself... and as much as I hate kitchen work, I seriously hate doing shit half-assed... I'm a lazy person, which means that I want to get it done right the first time so I can screw around the remainder of the time...
Practice-practice-practice... if I can just quit forgetting things one at a time, then by the time February is over, I should have a grip on things... it's just surviving the chats with my boss in the mean time are going to be painful... nothing like a 'talking to' when you have only yourself to blame, eh? heh...
One thing at a time, one day at a time, one item on the list at a time... all will (eventually) be well....