Child instruction manual
Children need to come with an instruction manual. For two main reasons: people who don't know how to raise a child and for people who fuck their kids up and tell them later on that "children don't come with an instruction manual." If I were to write such a book, I would have to (of course) mention that:
1) Parents may disagree in front of their children, but should never fight in front of their children. (especially those brink-of-divorce type of fights.)
2) Only under special circumstances, should a parent or parents take their children to a bar, like for a sporting event of some kind or to have a social gathering. Never to just drink.
3) If parents are going to do either of the two, they should at least not combine the two.
(Really. So last night, I stop into the Moan and Dove with Pete and while talking he leans over and whispers that a little girl 2 tables over is "about to break down." I look over and there is a couple with a 10-year old girl just drinking and arguing with each other, right in front of her. And he was right, you could tell that the experience was just plain fucked up for the kid.)
Which brings me to another point: the instruction manual should have a chart of common facial expressions that children make and what they mean. There could be one that reads "child is uncomfortable to the point of emotional crisis."
There can also be a section that gives a questionnaire: "Are we functional enough to have children?"
As i write this, this is becoming a really good idea.
"The Child Instruction Manual: Common Sense Parenting for Couples with Common Sense"
1) Parents may disagree in front of their children, but should never fight in front of their children. (especially those brink-of-divorce type of fights.)
2) Only under special circumstances, should a parent or parents take their children to a bar, like for a sporting event of some kind or to have a social gathering. Never to just drink.
3) If parents are going to do either of the two, they should at least not combine the two.
(Really. So last night, I stop into the Moan and Dove with Pete and while talking he leans over and whispers that a little girl 2 tables over is "about to break down." I look over and there is a couple with a 10-year old girl just drinking and arguing with each other, right in front of her. And he was right, you could tell that the experience was just plain fucked up for the kid.)
Which brings me to another point: the instruction manual should have a chart of common facial expressions that children make and what they mean. There could be one that reads "child is uncomfortable to the point of emotional crisis."
There can also be a section that gives a questionnaire: "Are we functional enough to have children?"
As i write this, this is becoming a really good idea.
"The Child Instruction Manual: Common Sense Parenting for Couples with Common Sense"