Disconnect and self destruct one bullet at a time
YESSS!!!! i cut today, felt so good... 20 cuts and i got some blood.. just a little, but i'm quickly building myself back up... ohmifuckinggoodness cutting felt *so* good!!!i was so relaxed, so outside myself for once. i was so out of it i couldn't even hold myself up... i loved it. no one can take this away from me, i control everything about this and i love that power... i love just stepping out of myself for once and just being consumed by something else, something other then the voice in my head, something other than the dark cloud that devours me most of the time. my meds haven't kicked in yet, obviously. but will they at all? i'm so fucking tired all the time, even more than i was before. will that go away in time? i hate having to be patient and wait for the meds to kick in. i want relief now, a distraction from reality, and thats what my cutting does. i won't give it up, i just have to be smart about it, just another aspect i can control.