Challenge Fic: TV Night
Title: TV Night
Author:
comicshopgrl
Claim: General DCU
Characters\Pairing: Wally, Kyle, Poison Ivy
Rating: G
Word Count: 704
Prompt: Friendship (T07; P04)
Continuity: Pre-Rebirth. Fairly early in Kyle’s career, I suppose.
Summary: The boys battle Poison Ivy. Life conspires against letting them see the end of American Idol.
Disclaimer: DC owns’em. I’m just playing.
Author’s notes\Warnings: Something more light-hearted for Wally and Kyle while I work on the next part of the Double Date storyline. Shenanigans!
“If we don’t get out of this Batman’s gonna totally make fun of us,” Wally grumbled as he struggled to free his legs from Poison Ivy’s binding vines. Every vine he pulled off was replaced by another two. Even working at super speed, he wasn’t having much luck.
“It won’t matter because we’ll be dead,” Kyle replied, hacking at the vines with a conjured sword. A particularly thick vine snaked over his left shoulder and dragged him to the ground.
“That won’t stop him. He’ll be all like, ‘I’m Batman,’ then send Deadman or Spectre to the Afterlife to lecture us about going in prepared or something.” Wally stopped fighting the vines and let them encase him in a tightening cocoon. Moments later, vines exploded outward as the Flash burst forward spinning like a tornado. He whirled past Kyle taking the last of the foliage with him.
Climbing to his feet, Kyle fashioned a shield to go along with the sword. “Nah. Not even Batman’s that anal.” Pressing forward, he chopped at animated branches and yet more vines. “She’s some kind of one trick pony,” He muttered under his breath.
Wally zipped over to his side, tearing at the plants. “He totally is. For Robin’s fourteenth birthday, all of the Titans went over to his house for a party. He made poor Robbie go brush his teeth right after eating the birthday cake! Like he would get cavities if he let it sit for an hour. That’s anal.”
“Um,” Kyle responded. That was pretty extreme and definitely something he could see Batman doing but he didn’t want to agree out loud. The vigilante’s eyes and ears extended a very long way and maybe, just maybe, he was a little afraid of Batman. But really, who wasn’t?
“You’re just mad because we have to deal with his villain instead of watching the season finale of American Idol.” Wally didn’t confirm that observation; he just continued fighting the plants.
“I will rid the world of the oppressors who maul innocent plants for their own wicked ends!” Poison Ivy declared. “Rise, my swamp men and protect your mistress!” The ground burst open at her feet and a dozen man shaped creatures lumbered forth.
“That’s…different.” Kyle conceded. He slashed at the first one that came within range. It staggered but didn’t fall.
“I bought the beer in Belgium and I went to Buffalo to get the hot wings! Why does no one respect the sanctity of TV night?” Wally griped. He zipped through the swamp men, dodging their clumsy attempts to hit him. With a rapid succession of blows, he knocked Poison Ivy out cold. As she fainted at his feet, her swamp men collapsed into puddles of rancid bio-matter.
Kyle hopped, skipped, and jumped around the ooze to join Flash. They both stared down at Ivy for a long moment. “So do you think she’s a carnivore?” Kyle finally asked.
“What?”
“I mean, she’s here at a Frito Lays factory protesting the creation of potato chips. That makes me think that she would have a problem eating potatoes and other plant life. Do you think she just eats spareribs and fried chicken or something?”
Wally glanced around him before looking back at the defeated villain. “That doesn’t make a lot of sense. She runs around wearing what basically amounts to a small houseplant. I just don’t see her picking up a ten piece bucket of the Colonel. Maybe she can photosynthesize the essential nutrients she needs.”
Kyle snorted and picked up the unconscious woman. “‘Photosynthesize the essential nutrients she needs.’ Nerd.” He lifted off and headed out the front doors of the plant.
“Hey, don’t laugh at me for using words you can’t even spell.” Wally zoomed past him. “Meet you back at my place in ten?”
“Sure thing, buddy. Just be prepared to cry when Kelly beats Justin.” Kyle gave Wally a brisk salute and flew off toward the Central City lock-up.
“No way!” Flash called after him. “Bring your wallet because you’ll owe me fifty bucks when Justin wins.” He smiled even as Kyle flipped him off.
Beer, hot wings, and American Idol with his best friend. Life just didn’t get any better than this.