Challenge Fic: Cat Nap
“Maybe he’s unconscious.”
“Maybe he’s asleep.”
“Don’t be ridiculous; the Bat doesn’t sleep.”
“Everyone sleeps, dummy.”
Batman woke up as soon as Flash and Green Lantern started arguing. For a moment he didn’t move out of sheer mortification. All the years he had been a member of the JLA, he had never been caught napping while on Monitor Duty. He had been shot, stabbed, beaten, burned but he had never missed a shift or given it less than his complete attention. In fact he had lambasted Kyle just last week for doing this very thing. He would never live this down if he was caught.
“I don’t know. He fights some pretty nasty guys. He could’ve been poisoned or something.” Kyle sounded a bit doubtful. His boots squeaked a little as he moved out from behind Batman’s chair.
“Should we call someone?” Wally asked hesitantly. “I mean, if he’s really hurt we should do something.”
Batman clenched his eyes shut and concentrated on keeping his breathing deep and even. This was going from bad to worse.
“Who else is up here?” He could hear Kyle sit at the station adjacent to him and press a few buttons.
“I think Plas is on duty.”
Batman tensed. If he believed in God, he would almost think he was being punished for spending every night of the last month chasing Catwoman across rooftops and pursuing Selina Kyle through the social events of Gotham’s elite. There had been little time for things like sleeping and now he faced Plastic Man as the consequence. This scenario was going in his files.
But instead of the twangy snap of Plastic Man, Batman heard the heavy even thread of someone even worse.
“What’s wrong?” Superman asked. It wasn’t often he saw Green Lantern poking Batman with a glowing green stick as Flash stood by helplessly giggling. No, it wasn’t a common event but he couldn’t bring himself to be surprised either.
“We think Batman’s been poisoned,” Kyle offered up. Banishing the conjured stick, he looked at Superman then at the floor like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
“Stick…poking…Batman,” Flash gasped out. He doubled over, laughing so hard he vibrated.
Taking a quick scan of his team member, it was all the Man of Steel could do to repress a chuckle of his own.
“It looks serious. Maybe you two should go prep the med bay.” Superman gently shooed the two heroes out the door and closed it firmly. This was the best thing ever.
“The jig is up, Bruce.”
Batman swiveled in his chair and remained stubbornly expressionless. “The Joker escaped last week and criminal activity has been unusually high lately,” he explained.
“Uh-huh.”
“Robin has been busy with his own cases and Nightwing has Bludhaven to protect.” Batman rose and went to stand toe to toe with Superman. He tried his best glower but Superman was unimpressed.
“Riiight.” He drawled.
“I wasn’t sleeping.”
“Whatever you say, Bruce. I believe you.” Superman wanted to laugh as Batman gave him one last icy scowl before marching toward the transporter.
The Caped Crusader climbed up and inputted his coordinates. Superman ambled over and just before Batman disappeared, he called out to him.
“Oh, and Bruce? Give my regards to Catwoman.”
“Maybe he’s asleep.”
“Don’t be ridiculous; the Bat doesn’t sleep.”
“Everyone sleeps, dummy.”
Batman woke up as soon as Flash and Green Lantern started arguing. For a moment he didn’t move out of sheer mortification. All the years he had been a member of the JLA, he had never been caught napping while on Monitor Duty. He had been shot, stabbed, beaten, burned but he had never missed a shift or given it less than his complete attention. In fact he had lambasted Kyle just last week for doing this very thing. He would never live this down if he was caught.
“I don’t know. He fights some pretty nasty guys. He could’ve been poisoned or something.” Kyle sounded a bit doubtful. His boots squeaked a little as he moved out from behind Batman’s chair.
“Should we call someone?” Wally asked hesitantly. “I mean, if he’s really hurt we should do something.”
Batman clenched his eyes shut and concentrated on keeping his breathing deep and even. This was going from bad to worse.
“Who else is up here?” He could hear Kyle sit at the station adjacent to him and press a few buttons.
“I think Plas is on duty.”
Batman tensed. If he believed in God, he would almost think he was being punished for spending every night of the last month chasing Catwoman across rooftops and pursuing Selina Kyle through the social events of Gotham’s elite. There had been little time for things like sleeping and now he faced Plastic Man as the consequence. This scenario was going in his files.
But instead of the twangy snap of Plastic Man, Batman heard the heavy even thread of someone even worse.
“What’s wrong?” Superman asked. It wasn’t often he saw Green Lantern poking Batman with a glowing green stick as Flash stood by helplessly giggling. No, it wasn’t a common event but he couldn’t bring himself to be surprised either.
“We think Batman’s been poisoned,” Kyle offered up. Banishing the conjured stick, he looked at Superman then at the floor like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
“Stick…poking…Batman,” Flash gasped out. He doubled over, laughing so hard he vibrated.
Taking a quick scan of his team member, it was all the Man of Steel could do to repress a chuckle of his own.
“It looks serious. Maybe you two should go prep the med bay.” Superman gently shooed the two heroes out the door and closed it firmly. This was the best thing ever.
“The jig is up, Bruce.”
Batman swiveled in his chair and remained stubbornly expressionless. “The Joker escaped last week and criminal activity has been unusually high lately,” he explained.
“Uh-huh.”
“Robin has been busy with his own cases and Nightwing has Bludhaven to protect.” Batman rose and went to stand toe to toe with Superman. He tried his best glower but Superman was unimpressed.
“Riiight.” He drawled.
“I wasn’t sleeping.”
“Whatever you say, Bruce. I believe you.” Superman wanted to laugh as Batman gave him one last icy scowl before marching toward the transporter.
The Caped Crusader climbed up and inputted his coordinates. Superman ambled over and just before Batman disappeared, he called out to him.
“Oh, and Bruce? Give my regards to Catwoman.”