okay i officially hate life
it seems like every time things always seem to be going well for me then, BAMF! everything takes 180 and all goes to shit.
right now im working on straightening things up with my advisor. hopefully things will work out well. im stressed out enough as it is with the whole not being able to take some classes and being locked outta classes that i need and etc. i denno. i had an emotional breakdown yesterday and a slight one today. im just breaking down mentally with the stress of my agenda and how its going up and down constantly. sad thing is its only the second day of the semester. i dont know what im going to do with myself at this point.
i have such high anxiety when it comes to stress. i get these random panic attacks where i start shaking and getting really nervous and at the same time not knowing why and how to stop myself from crumbling. its sad. i dont know why it is. my mom says its not normal but whatever.
i think the only thing that's really going well for me is the fact that my friends are all great to me, regardless of the fact that i can never find time to spend with them and when i do its very seldom. trust me. i try. very much.
that and my boyfriend. though we've had our little tiffs about things, we always talk things over. its good to know that he's not only my boyfriend but my best friend. and for once i dont hesitate to talk to him about anything. ive always had that little problem with all my past relationships. its good to know i have that security behind our relationship and know it'll last.
several people have stopped talking to me, for some, i dont know why, and for others i have a little idea. at this point its the least of my concern that some of these people choose not to talk to me. whatever. right now ive got too much to worry about that worrying about things like fixing drama and shit like that is the least of my worries.
i really dont like a lot of the people walking around mason this fall. it seems 1. overcrowded 2. a lot of people are a lot more stuck up their asses this year 3. and just damn annoying. i mean i suppose there are select people whom i dont mind. but still some of this is just ridiculous. i can't stand walking around here. i feel like a ghost walking through campus. i just walk by. i mean people dont get in my way but its not like people actually smile or say hello to people as they walk by. that's probably the one thing about wesleyan i do miss. is that everyone seemed really friendly. here people are just on their own schedules and only care about themselves and where they're going. i mean who am i to say that im not like that because i sure as hell know that i dont acknowledge anyone's presence and dont really give anyone a smile or hello, minus professors and such but still. it just seems like a very cold environment. and here i am. stuck in it again.
i just hope all goes well. part of me wants to take classes at the prince william campus. its a lot easier to feel at home in a place that is a lot smaller than this.
oh well.
<3
right now im working on straightening things up with my advisor. hopefully things will work out well. im stressed out enough as it is with the whole not being able to take some classes and being locked outta classes that i need and etc. i denno. i had an emotional breakdown yesterday and a slight one today. im just breaking down mentally with the stress of my agenda and how its going up and down constantly. sad thing is its only the second day of the semester. i dont know what im going to do with myself at this point.
i have such high anxiety when it comes to stress. i get these random panic attacks where i start shaking and getting really nervous and at the same time not knowing why and how to stop myself from crumbling. its sad. i dont know why it is. my mom says its not normal but whatever.
i think the only thing that's really going well for me is the fact that my friends are all great to me, regardless of the fact that i can never find time to spend with them and when i do its very seldom. trust me. i try. very much.
that and my boyfriend. though we've had our little tiffs about things, we always talk things over. its good to know that he's not only my boyfriend but my best friend. and for once i dont hesitate to talk to him about anything. ive always had that little problem with all my past relationships. its good to know i have that security behind our relationship and know it'll last.
several people have stopped talking to me, for some, i dont know why, and for others i have a little idea. at this point its the least of my concern that some of these people choose not to talk to me. whatever. right now ive got too much to worry about that worrying about things like fixing drama and shit like that is the least of my worries.
i really dont like a lot of the people walking around mason this fall. it seems 1. overcrowded 2. a lot of people are a lot more stuck up their asses this year 3. and just damn annoying. i mean i suppose there are select people whom i dont mind. but still some of this is just ridiculous. i can't stand walking around here. i feel like a ghost walking through campus. i just walk by. i mean people dont get in my way but its not like people actually smile or say hello to people as they walk by. that's probably the one thing about wesleyan i do miss. is that everyone seemed really friendly. here people are just on their own schedules and only care about themselves and where they're going. i mean who am i to say that im not like that because i sure as hell know that i dont acknowledge anyone's presence and dont really give anyone a smile or hello, minus professors and such but still. it just seems like a very cold environment. and here i am. stuck in it again.
i just hope all goes well. part of me wants to take classes at the prince william campus. its a lot easier to feel at home in a place that is a lot smaller than this.
oh well.
<3