(no subject)
ah well its been one thing after another since i remitted my health insurance. isnt it always? stomach pain bleeding prolonged pain in abdomen crazy shaky leg spasms after riding 15 miles on bike a cold etc.
school is good, great. im keeping up with all the things flying my way. i should be done with my masters next xmas. still crossing fingers about stupid student loans which are astonishingly not easy to get, even though october 3 came and went.
im poor, but im ok. ok, im really really poor. i dont work much because im taking so many classes, and it's getting harder each month, each week, each day to find the quarters, dimes, nickels, even pennies i might have left in a pocket somewhere or dropped in a corner of the bedroom. i search like crazy for spare change every time i leave the house, and then i end up giving lots of coins away each day to homeless folks (they're not bums; that word is full of hatred) even though last night i handed a man about seven random coins and he looked in my eyes and without thanking me asked for five dollars, just five dollars, please.
the world sometimes seems so hopeless and i feel overwhelmed by the negativity around me. my classmates supposedly want to be teachers so they can make a difference in children's lives; i mean, come on, who'd take the crap a teacher takes and put up with all the stress, and get paid pennies if you didn't want to make a difference, right? except that we talk about pedagogy being a political act in class and everyone shuts up and acts like that's a bit extreme, oh, that's taking it too far. but being an educator is a political act. to exist in the educational system, you can do one of two things: shut yr mouth and abide by all the rules which means you aren't making a difference in anyone's life, you're just filling the description of a teacher, and anyone can fill yr shoes, yr easily replaceable, a monkey might as well be you. OR you can bring a radical shift to the system, shake things up, make a difference, be meaningful, change things, create a revolution, resist negativity, the norm, and rewrite the rules. ive chosen my path.
school is good, great. im keeping up with all the things flying my way. i should be done with my masters next xmas. still crossing fingers about stupid student loans which are astonishingly not easy to get, even though october 3 came and went.
im poor, but im ok. ok, im really really poor. i dont work much because im taking so many classes, and it's getting harder each month, each week, each day to find the quarters, dimes, nickels, even pennies i might have left in a pocket somewhere or dropped in a corner of the bedroom. i search like crazy for spare change every time i leave the house, and then i end up giving lots of coins away each day to homeless folks (they're not bums; that word is full of hatred) even though last night i handed a man about seven random coins and he looked in my eyes and without thanking me asked for five dollars, just five dollars, please.
the world sometimes seems so hopeless and i feel overwhelmed by the negativity around me. my classmates supposedly want to be teachers so they can make a difference in children's lives; i mean, come on, who'd take the crap a teacher takes and put up with all the stress, and get paid pennies if you didn't want to make a difference, right? except that we talk about pedagogy being a political act in class and everyone shuts up and acts like that's a bit extreme, oh, that's taking it too far. but being an educator is a political act. to exist in the educational system, you can do one of two things: shut yr mouth and abide by all the rules which means you aren't making a difference in anyone's life, you're just filling the description of a teacher, and anyone can fill yr shoes, yr easily replaceable, a monkey might as well be you. OR you can bring a radical shift to the system, shake things up, make a difference, be meaningful, change things, create a revolution, resist negativity, the norm, and rewrite the rules. ive chosen my path.