When No Isn't A No
One of the greatest life lessons I learned from my mother was not to take no for an answer. When my father left, my mother was instantly charged with taking over household affairs. Few people in the business world seemed to treat my mother with the same amount of respect as they had my father---at the beginning. In short order, through her tenaciousness, my mother became a force to be reckoned with.
I cannot tell you how many times I could be doing something in the kitchen listening to my mother over the phone. "I appreciate your trying to help me", she would say, "but it seems my problem is outside your expertise. I'd like to speak to your manager please." Or, "Is there someone else there that I might speak with?" It was rare that my mother would get off the phone until she had spoken to someone who could help her get what she needed, done.
As I became an adult and had to deal with other "gate keepers" in the world, I too learned this lesson. Whether it was in college looking for jobs or aggressively seeking additional financial aid, I have no doubt that sometimes I was told no just to see if I would give up or not.
I didn't.
I learned long ago that by willing to pursue what I wanted with fervor, people were forced to deal with me. As a result, more often than not, I got what I wanted.
For example, my junior year of college, I was interested in working in the English department, but the job posting requested male applicants only. I took that job posting to the dean of the department and told him I was interested in applying and could do anything a male could do. There was concern that I wouldn't be able to lift boxes of books, he said. I challenged him to find one I couldn't lift. He laughed and hired me on the spot.
I held that job for nearly two years.
When I worked at the Boy Scouts, I was interested in serving as an executive at summer camp. "In 85 years there has never been a woman exec at summer camp", I was told.
I went to the Chief Scout Executive at the time, told him I wanted to go and was willing to fight for that right, and successfully served as the first woman to serve as Business Manager for Cherokee Scout Camp in 1999.
When I look back on all that I've accomplished in my life, I know for a fact it is because of mother's early example. I don't understand the word no and rarely take it for truth. No may mean not yet, but rarely does it mean no period.
I am not easily dissuaded, and I think that most people quit too early. If there is a goal out there that you are passionate about, you owe it to yourself to fight for it. Don't let someone else dictate your future. If you are told no, see what other avenues are open to you. Go above and beyond, literally if you have to, to make sure that if someone closes a door, you have tried all that you can to keep it open.
You're life depends on it.
I see the word no as a challenge. I am polite about it and respectful of authority, but I know that people are innately lazy and if they see my request as an inconvenience, they may be inclined to say no so that aren't put out. My intent isn't to put anyone out. Rather, it is to go forward as much as I can in my lifetime.
People seem amazed at times of how I can turn a no into a yes. I plot my strategy carefully and execute it precisely. My goal isn't to undermine anyone or make a mockery of their position. In fact, as much as I can, I get these nay-sayers to help me in my quest!!
No one cares about my life, happiness and career like I do. I owe it to myself to fight for my dreams, regardless of what others think or say.
I have more things I want to do and more doors I must open for myself in order for those things to happen. But I have been given a set of keys and tools to use for just that purpose. I know that the next time I hear the word no, it probably isn't a no, just a not yet.
And that is really, really exciting!
I cannot tell you how many times I could be doing something in the kitchen listening to my mother over the phone. "I appreciate your trying to help me", she would say, "but it seems my problem is outside your expertise. I'd like to speak to your manager please." Or, "Is there someone else there that I might speak with?" It was rare that my mother would get off the phone until she had spoken to someone who could help her get what she needed, done.
As I became an adult and had to deal with other "gate keepers" in the world, I too learned this lesson. Whether it was in college looking for jobs or aggressively seeking additional financial aid, I have no doubt that sometimes I was told no just to see if I would give up or not.
I didn't.
I learned long ago that by willing to pursue what I wanted with fervor, people were forced to deal with me. As a result, more often than not, I got what I wanted.
For example, my junior year of college, I was interested in working in the English department, but the job posting requested male applicants only. I took that job posting to the dean of the department and told him I was interested in applying and could do anything a male could do. There was concern that I wouldn't be able to lift boxes of books, he said. I challenged him to find one I couldn't lift. He laughed and hired me on the spot.
I held that job for nearly two years.
When I worked at the Boy Scouts, I was interested in serving as an executive at summer camp. "In 85 years there has never been a woman exec at summer camp", I was told.
I went to the Chief Scout Executive at the time, told him I wanted to go and was willing to fight for that right, and successfully served as the first woman to serve as Business Manager for Cherokee Scout Camp in 1999.
When I look back on all that I've accomplished in my life, I know for a fact it is because of mother's early example. I don't understand the word no and rarely take it for truth. No may mean not yet, but rarely does it mean no period.
I am not easily dissuaded, and I think that most people quit too early. If there is a goal out there that you are passionate about, you owe it to yourself to fight for it. Don't let someone else dictate your future. If you are told no, see what other avenues are open to you. Go above and beyond, literally if you have to, to make sure that if someone closes a door, you have tried all that you can to keep it open.
You're life depends on it.
I see the word no as a challenge. I am polite about it and respectful of authority, but I know that people are innately lazy and if they see my request as an inconvenience, they may be inclined to say no so that aren't put out. My intent isn't to put anyone out. Rather, it is to go forward as much as I can in my lifetime.
People seem amazed at times of how I can turn a no into a yes. I plot my strategy carefully and execute it precisely. My goal isn't to undermine anyone or make a mockery of their position. In fact, as much as I can, I get these nay-sayers to help me in my quest!!
No one cares about my life, happiness and career like I do. I owe it to myself to fight for my dreams, regardless of what others think or say.
I have more things I want to do and more doors I must open for myself in order for those things to happen. But I have been given a set of keys and tools to use for just that purpose. I know that the next time I hear the word no, it probably isn't a no, just a not yet.
And that is really, really exciting!