silence; leo/ken
title: silence
pairing: leo/ken
genre: drabbles
rating: pg
words: all in all 1,991
summary/ a/n: this are basically a few keo drabbles adding up to form a little story. inspired by today's vixxtv ep because... oh my god.
Jaehwan watches Taekwoon bring what was left of his cigarette up to his lips, enclosing the bud to inhale deeply. The last bit is consumed quickly, and Taekwoon breathes out the smoke in a thin line as he smudges the end into the ashtray that he always keeps next to his bed. Jaehwan likes to watch Taekwoon smoke, even though he knows how bad it is for his health. But he somehow can’t bring himself to make the other stop, not when he looks so peaceful and serene, as opposed to the black smoke clogging up his lungs.
Taekwoon turns to Jaehwan, their eyes meeting briefly before the older trails them down Jaehwan’s neck, over his collarbones and his exposed torso down to where his body disappears under the white covers of his bed. His dark eyes flicker up to Jaehwan’s slightly brighter ones, thoughts pooling in both of their irises that neither feels the need to bring up.
It makes Jaehwan smile when he thinks about how often he and Taekwoon actually sit together in stretching silence, and still no awkwardness comes between them. Their mutual silence is content, on Jaehwan’s side because he feels like he doesn’t have to say anything for Taekwoon to understand him, not having to talk as a nice change for once. On Taekwoon’s side it is because he knows Jaehwan doesn’t expect him to say something, and because he never complains about it, either.
Instead of words they exchange kisses, touches, sometimes as rough as the words they’d like to speak, other times as feathery and gentle as the feelings they want to convey.
This time is no different when Taekwoon reaches his hand forward to pull Jaehwan in to touch his lips gentle to the younger one’s, moving sensually, yet chastely. Jaehwan smiles into the kiss, scooting his body closer, his fingers ghosting over creamy white skin. This elicits a little shiver that runs over Taekwoon’s skin, making him pull Jaehwan’s lower lip between his teeth before running his tongue over it, apologetic.
----------------
“Mhmmmm, it smells wonderful.”
Jaehwan jumps at the sudden voice but then relaxes, a smile forming on his lips. He doesn’t turn around though, keeping his attention focused on the steaming pot in front of him. He counts the seconds, and he’s barely done with number four when he feels two strong arms circle around his waist and a chin snuggling into his shoulder. Jaehwan chuckles at the touch, remembering distant times when such touches were completely unbelievable to him.
“What is it?” Taekwoon asks, eyeing the pot a little skeptically. It is Jaehwan who is cooking after all, not him, and he remembers that one time the younger made him cupcakes for his birthday. Taekwoon shudders at the pain once again shooting through his front teeth at the memory, not sure if he wants to sign a new contract of death just yet.
“Kimchijiggae.” Jaehwan announces proudly but sending him a sideway roll of the eye, as if he is mocking Taekwoon to not being able to tell from the smell. Which is another point why Taekwoon is a little careful about all this.
“Didn’t the landlord say we weren’t allowed to make that?”
Jaehwan simply waves the worry away with his hand before scurrying to the sink, Taekwoon continuously attached to his waist.
“It’s okay, he won’t kill us for one time. Besides, it’s practically our national dish - what does he expect?”
Taekwoon smiles into Jaehwan’s shoulder, but even that doesn’t help to hide the wide flash of teeth he gives at Jaehwan’s words from the younger.
-------------------
It’s pouring, thick wet drops falling from the sky in haste, drenching the sidewalks and the few people lingering on them. Taekwoon is soaked through to the bone, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about the rain, because the only thing to care about right now is Jaehwan and the words he has just said.
“You’re…” Taekwoon doesn’t know what to say, what to think, except why, how. “You’re not serious, are you?”
Jaehwan doesn’t look at him, doesn’t look anywhere for too long in fact. Taekwoon sees him getting drenched just as much as he is, and even though Jaehwan has just said words that should make Taekwoon hate him, he still feels the need to pull him out of the rain so he doesn’t get sick.
“…I’m sorry, hyung.”
The words sicker through his skin along with the rain, but they are leaving a much more lingering cold behind as the sky’s downpour.
“You- you don’t mean that, Jaehwan. You don’t- You haven’t-“ Taekwoon’s words are a mess, a mess of stutters and pain and confusion. He looks at Jaehwan, trying to catch his eyes, trying to understand. But the younger is ever so flighty, not letting his eyes set on anything near Taekwoon.
“I’m- I’m sorry. But I just don’t…” Jaehwan’s voice breaks, and for a minute Taekwoon thinks he’s broken through, gotten to the core of Jaehwan’s nonsense. But then Jaehwan turns and runs towards the arriving bus without another glance back or a flickering wave of doubt for Taekwoon to hold on to, letting the older stand in the rain with his outstretched hand, alone.
Taekwoon looks after the bus, perplex and hurting, and it takes all of his willpower not to break down on his knees right then and there, under the dark sky.
--------------------
He wakes up in the middle of the night, instinctively reaching out next to him. Something drops inside his stomach when his hand hits the cold mattress on Jaehwan’s side of the bed, as cold as it has been for the past two months, three weeks and two days. It’s not like Taekwoon counts, but he figures that if Jaehwan comes back, he would always be able to use the period of time against him.
Taekwoon rubs his sleepy eyes before staring up at the ceiling, his thoughts wandering to the scene at the bus stop again, how the rain fell onto his skin, how Jaehwan’s words came so unexpected he thought it was a joke.
‘Let’s break up. I don’t love you anymore, hyung.’
The memory hurts, it hurts even after such a long time. But Taekwoon can’t bring himself to cry, not anymore. Overtaking the pain is emptiness inside of him. It’s emptiness that comes from Jaehwan not being here to fill it up, that missing piece inside of his chest, that warm, bubbly feathery feeling of contentment, shelter, home. Jaehwan is not there, and it leaves Taekwoon more empty than ever, because Jaehwan took all that Taekwoon had to offer.
Taekwoon thinks that he hears the front door open then, and is almost up on his feet, when he realizes that it was the wind that was howling through the open window in the kitchen that was making him hopeful.
It should have really stopped by now, that hope. But Taekwoon knows that as long as Jaehwan still has the spare key to their apartment, it will never entirely go away.
----------------
Taekwoon awakes to the sunlight shining down warm onto his face, beckoning him to rise and shine. He grunts at it, still not in the mood for anything close to lifting up his spirits. The first decent thoughts crossing his mind is that it was now three months, one week and four days, and he isn’t sure if that’s such a nice thing to wake up to. Maybe he should just go to sleep and wake up again when Jaehwan comes banging on his front door.
As he shifts he feels something else, though. Slowly his mind registers that there is an unknown weight on his waist, and he is warm even without the blanket covering his shoulders. His mind startles awake, and with a swift and none so gentle movement he whirls around to look at the side of the bed next to him.
His heart stutters, comes on strong and then practically sets a world record as he sees Jaehwan’s sleeping form in between the blankets, his slightly lighted hair messily fanned about his head. Taekwoon starts to shake, if out of anger or joy, he can’t tell. All Taekwoon knows is that Jaehwan is there, in their bed.
Still incredulous, Taekwoon reaches out a tentative hand, softly nudging his fingertips into Jaehwan’s biceps, registering how he feels under his touch. Taekwoon has a hard time to stay calm, because right now all he wants to do is hold Jaehwan in his arms, kiss him, love him until he doesn’t know his own name anymore.
Jaehwan wakes from the gentle ministrations, rubbing his eyes before he sets them onto a ridiculously wide eyed Taekwoon, a small, guilty smile breaking over his full lips.
“Good morning, hyung.”
Taekwoon almost wants to growl at the innocent greeting, but the moment Jaehwan intertwines their fingers all of his coherent thoughts are lost. All that matters is that Jaehwan is there with him, holding onto him.
“I’m sorry, hyung, I’m so-“
Jaehwan’s words get swallowed by Taekwoon’s desperate lips on his own, and he forgets for a moment why he was sorry in the first place.
----------------------
“Hey, hyung, say cheeeeese!”
Taekwoon turns just in time to be blinded by the bright flash shooting out of Hongbin’s camera, staring accusingly at the younger. Jaehwan, looking very attractive in his dark tux, was currently sitting next to Hakyeon on the sofa, both busy giggling over some oh-so-scadalous news.
Taekwoon sighs but smiles nonetheless, feeling the warmth spread again in his chest as he watches Jaehwan, how his hands fly up in the air when he says something he deems important, how he nods forward instead of downwards when he listens to what someone has to say, how his tongue frequently darts over his lips to wet them. It’s still like a dream to Taekwoon that Jaehwan is still there with him and that they’re having their fifth anniversary because… how can someone like Jaehwan be his?
Taekwoon spends a good amount of the next ten minutes at the buffet Hakyeon and he prepared in the morning, shoving food into his mouth. Sanghyuk is following his example and it ends up in a little competition of who can fit more cherry tomatoes into their mouth, before Jaehwan step in and kisses Taekwoon’s full cheek, making him choke one of the little round vegetables.
Taekwoon is still happy even as there’s tears in his eyes and he feels like he’s going to suffocate any minute now if no one does anything, but luckily Wonshik gives him one strong clap on the back and he’s back under the living. Jaehwan smiles at him, relief washing over his face, and Taekwoon thinks he can see the same emotion his Jaehwan’’s eyes as he feels whenever he looks at him.
“Thank God, hyung, I thought you were going to die on our fifth anniversary!”
Taekwoon’s eyes turned playful. “Four years, eight months, two weeks and three days.”
Jaehwan looks at him, confused. “What?”
“That’s how long we’ve actually been together. Technically, calling this our fifth anniversary is a little soon.” The grin breaking over Taekwoon’s lips is nothing short of loving as he reaches out to touch his hand to the side of Jaehwan’s cheek, pulling himself forward to peck him on the lips.
Jaehwan takes a moment to process Taekwoon’s words before his face crunches up in disapproval and guilt. “Hyung, you know I-“ Taekwoon kisses him again, this time lingering longer, moving his lips soothingly against Jaehwan’s. When he pulls back he smiles again, and his hand trails down to link with the younger’s own.
“I know.”
He squeezes Jaehwan’s hand in reassurance, and Jaehwan squeezes back. He leaned in for another kiss before turning to their friends, just in time to be once again blinded by the bright light of the flash as Hongbin captures the moment.
pairing: leo/ken
genre: drabbles
rating: pg
words: all in all 1,991
summary/ a/n: this are basically a few keo drabbles adding up to form a little story. inspired by today's vixxtv ep because... oh my god.
Jaehwan watches Taekwoon bring what was left of his cigarette up to his lips, enclosing the bud to inhale deeply. The last bit is consumed quickly, and Taekwoon breathes out the smoke in a thin line as he smudges the end into the ashtray that he always keeps next to his bed. Jaehwan likes to watch Taekwoon smoke, even though he knows how bad it is for his health. But he somehow can’t bring himself to make the other stop, not when he looks so peaceful and serene, as opposed to the black smoke clogging up his lungs.
Taekwoon turns to Jaehwan, their eyes meeting briefly before the older trails them down Jaehwan’s neck, over his collarbones and his exposed torso down to where his body disappears under the white covers of his bed. His dark eyes flicker up to Jaehwan’s slightly brighter ones, thoughts pooling in both of their irises that neither feels the need to bring up.
It makes Jaehwan smile when he thinks about how often he and Taekwoon actually sit together in stretching silence, and still no awkwardness comes between them. Their mutual silence is content, on Jaehwan’s side because he feels like he doesn’t have to say anything for Taekwoon to understand him, not having to talk as a nice change for once. On Taekwoon’s side it is because he knows Jaehwan doesn’t expect him to say something, and because he never complains about it, either.
Instead of words they exchange kisses, touches, sometimes as rough as the words they’d like to speak, other times as feathery and gentle as the feelings they want to convey.
This time is no different when Taekwoon reaches his hand forward to pull Jaehwan in to touch his lips gentle to the younger one’s, moving sensually, yet chastely. Jaehwan smiles into the kiss, scooting his body closer, his fingers ghosting over creamy white skin. This elicits a little shiver that runs over Taekwoon’s skin, making him pull Jaehwan’s lower lip between his teeth before running his tongue over it, apologetic.
----------------
“Mhmmmm, it smells wonderful.”
Jaehwan jumps at the sudden voice but then relaxes, a smile forming on his lips. He doesn’t turn around though, keeping his attention focused on the steaming pot in front of him. He counts the seconds, and he’s barely done with number four when he feels two strong arms circle around his waist and a chin snuggling into his shoulder. Jaehwan chuckles at the touch, remembering distant times when such touches were completely unbelievable to him.
“What is it?” Taekwoon asks, eyeing the pot a little skeptically. It is Jaehwan who is cooking after all, not him, and he remembers that one time the younger made him cupcakes for his birthday. Taekwoon shudders at the pain once again shooting through his front teeth at the memory, not sure if he wants to sign a new contract of death just yet.
“Kimchijiggae.” Jaehwan announces proudly but sending him a sideway roll of the eye, as if he is mocking Taekwoon to not being able to tell from the smell. Which is another point why Taekwoon is a little careful about all this.
“Didn’t the landlord say we weren’t allowed to make that?”
Jaehwan simply waves the worry away with his hand before scurrying to the sink, Taekwoon continuously attached to his waist.
“It’s okay, he won’t kill us for one time. Besides, it’s practically our national dish - what does he expect?”
Taekwoon smiles into Jaehwan’s shoulder, but even that doesn’t help to hide the wide flash of teeth he gives at Jaehwan’s words from the younger.
-------------------
It’s pouring, thick wet drops falling from the sky in haste, drenching the sidewalks and the few people lingering on them. Taekwoon is soaked through to the bone, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care about the rain, because the only thing to care about right now is Jaehwan and the words he has just said.
“You’re…” Taekwoon doesn’t know what to say, what to think, except why, how. “You’re not serious, are you?”
Jaehwan doesn’t look at him, doesn’t look anywhere for too long in fact. Taekwoon sees him getting drenched just as much as he is, and even though Jaehwan has just said words that should make Taekwoon hate him, he still feels the need to pull him out of the rain so he doesn’t get sick.
“…I’m sorry, hyung.”
The words sicker through his skin along with the rain, but they are leaving a much more lingering cold behind as the sky’s downpour.
“You- you don’t mean that, Jaehwan. You don’t- You haven’t-“ Taekwoon’s words are a mess, a mess of stutters and pain and confusion. He looks at Jaehwan, trying to catch his eyes, trying to understand. But the younger is ever so flighty, not letting his eyes set on anything near Taekwoon.
“I’m- I’m sorry. But I just don’t…” Jaehwan’s voice breaks, and for a minute Taekwoon thinks he’s broken through, gotten to the core of Jaehwan’s nonsense. But then Jaehwan turns and runs towards the arriving bus without another glance back or a flickering wave of doubt for Taekwoon to hold on to, letting the older stand in the rain with his outstretched hand, alone.
Taekwoon looks after the bus, perplex and hurting, and it takes all of his willpower not to break down on his knees right then and there, under the dark sky.
--------------------
He wakes up in the middle of the night, instinctively reaching out next to him. Something drops inside his stomach when his hand hits the cold mattress on Jaehwan’s side of the bed, as cold as it has been for the past two months, three weeks and two days. It’s not like Taekwoon counts, but he figures that if Jaehwan comes back, he would always be able to use the period of time against him.
Taekwoon rubs his sleepy eyes before staring up at the ceiling, his thoughts wandering to the scene at the bus stop again, how the rain fell onto his skin, how Jaehwan’s words came so unexpected he thought it was a joke.
‘Let’s break up. I don’t love you anymore, hyung.’
The memory hurts, it hurts even after such a long time. But Taekwoon can’t bring himself to cry, not anymore. Overtaking the pain is emptiness inside of him. It’s emptiness that comes from Jaehwan not being here to fill it up, that missing piece inside of his chest, that warm, bubbly feathery feeling of contentment, shelter, home. Jaehwan is not there, and it leaves Taekwoon more empty than ever, because Jaehwan took all that Taekwoon had to offer.
Taekwoon thinks that he hears the front door open then, and is almost up on his feet, when he realizes that it was the wind that was howling through the open window in the kitchen that was making him hopeful.
It should have really stopped by now, that hope. But Taekwoon knows that as long as Jaehwan still has the spare key to their apartment, it will never entirely go away.
----------------
Taekwoon awakes to the sunlight shining down warm onto his face, beckoning him to rise and shine. He grunts at it, still not in the mood for anything close to lifting up his spirits. The first decent thoughts crossing his mind is that it was now three months, one week and four days, and he isn’t sure if that’s such a nice thing to wake up to. Maybe he should just go to sleep and wake up again when Jaehwan comes banging on his front door.
As he shifts he feels something else, though. Slowly his mind registers that there is an unknown weight on his waist, and he is warm even without the blanket covering his shoulders. His mind startles awake, and with a swift and none so gentle movement he whirls around to look at the side of the bed next to him.
His heart stutters, comes on strong and then practically sets a world record as he sees Jaehwan’s sleeping form in between the blankets, his slightly lighted hair messily fanned about his head. Taekwoon starts to shake, if out of anger or joy, he can’t tell. All Taekwoon knows is that Jaehwan is there, in their bed.
Still incredulous, Taekwoon reaches out a tentative hand, softly nudging his fingertips into Jaehwan’s biceps, registering how he feels under his touch. Taekwoon has a hard time to stay calm, because right now all he wants to do is hold Jaehwan in his arms, kiss him, love him until he doesn’t know his own name anymore.
Jaehwan wakes from the gentle ministrations, rubbing his eyes before he sets them onto a ridiculously wide eyed Taekwoon, a small, guilty smile breaking over his full lips.
“Good morning, hyung.”
Taekwoon almost wants to growl at the innocent greeting, but the moment Jaehwan intertwines their fingers all of his coherent thoughts are lost. All that matters is that Jaehwan is there with him, holding onto him.
“I’m sorry, hyung, I’m so-“
Jaehwan’s words get swallowed by Taekwoon’s desperate lips on his own, and he forgets for a moment why he was sorry in the first place.
----------------------
“Hey, hyung, say cheeeeese!”
Taekwoon turns just in time to be blinded by the bright flash shooting out of Hongbin’s camera, staring accusingly at the younger. Jaehwan, looking very attractive in his dark tux, was currently sitting next to Hakyeon on the sofa, both busy giggling over some oh-so-scadalous news.
Taekwoon sighs but smiles nonetheless, feeling the warmth spread again in his chest as he watches Jaehwan, how his hands fly up in the air when he says something he deems important, how he nods forward instead of downwards when he listens to what someone has to say, how his tongue frequently darts over his lips to wet them. It’s still like a dream to Taekwoon that Jaehwan is still there with him and that they’re having their fifth anniversary because… how can someone like Jaehwan be his?
Taekwoon spends a good amount of the next ten minutes at the buffet Hakyeon and he prepared in the morning, shoving food into his mouth. Sanghyuk is following his example and it ends up in a little competition of who can fit more cherry tomatoes into their mouth, before Jaehwan step in and kisses Taekwoon’s full cheek, making him choke one of the little round vegetables.
Taekwoon is still happy even as there’s tears in his eyes and he feels like he’s going to suffocate any minute now if no one does anything, but luckily Wonshik gives him one strong clap on the back and he’s back under the living. Jaehwan smiles at him, relief washing over his face, and Taekwoon thinks he can see the same emotion his Jaehwan’’s eyes as he feels whenever he looks at him.
“Thank God, hyung, I thought you were going to die on our fifth anniversary!”
Taekwoon’s eyes turned playful. “Four years, eight months, two weeks and three days.”
Jaehwan looks at him, confused. “What?”
“That’s how long we’ve actually been together. Technically, calling this our fifth anniversary is a little soon.” The grin breaking over Taekwoon’s lips is nothing short of loving as he reaches out to touch his hand to the side of Jaehwan’s cheek, pulling himself forward to peck him on the lips.
Jaehwan takes a moment to process Taekwoon’s words before his face crunches up in disapproval and guilt. “Hyung, you know I-“ Taekwoon kisses him again, this time lingering longer, moving his lips soothingly against Jaehwan’s. When he pulls back he smiles again, and his hand trails down to link with the younger’s own.
“I know.”
He squeezes Jaehwan’s hand in reassurance, and Jaehwan squeezes back. He leaned in for another kiss before turning to their friends, just in time to be once again blinded by the bright light of the flash as Hongbin captures the moment.