(no subject)
For you to crawl into the depths of my soul, sitting there with nothing but the murmor of my thoughts, feelings, ideas, dreams, listening to the murmor of my heart. If only it was possible. I have this passion inside of me to do nothing but spill my heart, pour it at your feet, to lay their to absourb into the soil of this chaotic world. If for once I could let it go, would it make us grow? Why is it that the God of all creation, whom is man, created a man with such secret hearts? Why is the irony of the one who is suppose to be there for us through all light and darkness, hears our cries, and our hearts, the one who is there for our comfort and guidence is just like the man on earth? Why is it so hard to understand me. Why can't there be communication. Why do I long so dearly to something so outta grasp. Why is something that isnt explained with logical sense, blamed on a factor of trust. Why dont you have answers, why is everythign avoided, pushed aside, left behind, why do I have to be so gosh damn fucked up?!
All these thoughts all the time, how can I even start to hear the voice of God. And when I do, I cling to my pride. I cant understand how such an awesome God whos done so much for me, still love me. I'm the biggest sinner of all. My pride is more than a murder. My view on life is a slap in His face. But still, I'm told He still loves me. How? How can the two people that I fuck over, still love me?
Why is every emotion considered pity party to the outside world? Why cant this world open their eyes and realize that emotions happen. Why is someone with more emotion than the "normal person" looked down at? Why's this world so fucked up.
I can't conqure this life with my ways of living, thinking, acting. I cant beat down this pride I'm holding onto so tight. The thought of being alone rules me. I cant stand when one beats aroudn the bush, but here I am, beating around the bush of the most important thing in life.
All these thoughts all the time, how can I even start to hear the voice of God. And when I do, I cling to my pride. I cant understand how such an awesome God whos done so much for me, still love me. I'm the biggest sinner of all. My pride is more than a murder. My view on life is a slap in His face. But still, I'm told He still loves me. How? How can the two people that I fuck over, still love me?
Why is every emotion considered pity party to the outside world? Why cant this world open their eyes and realize that emotions happen. Why is someone with more emotion than the "normal person" looked down at? Why's this world so fucked up.
I can't conqure this life with my ways of living, thinking, acting. I cant beat down this pride I'm holding onto so tight. The thought of being alone rules me. I cant stand when one beats aroudn the bush, but here I am, beating around the bush of the most important thing in life.