Chapter 40
So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you're beside me and look how far we've come
So far, we are, so close
- So Close, Jon McLaughlin
June 11th - Grythen
Kismette
Evelynn opened her door at the sound of knocking. Her mouth fell open. “Why are you here?”
“I thought it might be a good idea since you’re always too busy to meet,” Kismette replied. “I haven’t seen you in… almost a month?” She tried to smile but failed. Somehow, the special connection between them had faded away. Her eyes lingered on Evelynn’s heavily made-up face and extra skinny limbs.
Evelynn sucked in a deep breath and twirled her lustrous blonde hair with a finger. “I have been really busy. Is there anything important? I’m leaving my room in fifteen minutes, so I need to get ready now,” she said and retreated into her room to pack her bag.
Kismette took a few tentative steps in. She didn’t know if she should enter Evelynn’s room without an invitation. “I just want to tell you… that… I’m getting married.”
Something heavy dropped. It was one of Evelynn's branded bag. The dancetress froze for a while before breathing again. “To whom?”
“Er… Chairon?” the brunette replied, puzzled by her question. She fiddled her engagement ring nervously. “I… I just thought you should be the first to know this from me… Evelynn, are you okay?”
There was a long pause.
“No, I’m not,” Evelynn finally responded through gritted teeth. “What did you think, Kay? That I’d be happy?”
“Y- You’re not? You’re not happy for me?” Kismette looked down at her hands.
“I’ve always thought he was just playing you. The past few weeks have been so painful, but I’ve always told myself this hell will be over soon because one day, he will tire of you and his eyes will rest on me. You’re supposed to be just another girl!” Evelynn shrieked as angry tears surfaced. “Please get out now. It hurts to look at you, Kay. Can’t you tell that I’ve been avoiding you? Get out of my room. Now!”
Kismette scuttled out immediately, dreadfully terrified of her childhood friend all of a sudden. Why wait until I’m engaged to tell me this?
June 12th - Grythen
Kismette
Jeremy tapped her shoulder lightly to catch her attention. “Kismette, are you focusing at all? This is one of the most important things you must master.”
The healer looked at him and smiled half-heartedly. It was turning warmer these days, but the heat today was unbearable. Even Jeremy dressed down for the weather. Scientists from all over the world were debating about this thing called ‘global warming’, but she had yet to make any sense out of it. “I’m sorry, Jeremy. Can we try again?”
“Of course we must. Ten metres is already the shortest range we can go. I know you have a lot on your mind now, but a healer must be able to push aside everything else when doing his or her job. You can’t afford to put lives at risk. Please understand that we don’t have much time left and you still have a lot to learn, alright?”
Kismette nodded, ashamed of herself. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, cleansing her mind of all unhappiness. She focused resolutely on the dying tree and pushed with her whole mind. She had been doing better lately; she was able to keep herself fully conscious while extending her energy beyond her palms. Guiding her power to where she wanted was the hard part.
“Focus… focus…” Jeremy coaxed, seeing from the path of her energy from her mind. “That’s it, go on…”
Suddenly, she felt a tug at her energy. Her eyes widened as her stream of glowing red began rushing forward urgently, gaining speed as they went. It flowed straight through the sick tree and surged past the palace walls. She had no idea where they were going, but she knew somebody was desperately fighting for survival-desperate enough to call her energy to him.
Jeremy sensed something amiss. He followed her energy through the images and sensations embedded in her thoughts and gasped soundlessly when he finally knew where it dissipated.
He stared at her and couldn’t speak for a long time, his expression a cross of doubt and joy. Kismette swallowed and prompted him to say something, unnerved by his motionless state.
“Nobody has ever had a range of more than a kilometre, child,” he whispered at last, almost breathless, “and that was almost four kilometres. Four,” he held out four fingers and waved them at her, unable to believe what just happened.
June 12th - Grythen
Zaelem
Eh?
Caught red-handed: Chairon Viken and healer Kismette Larazest with engagement rings.
Mejaine
Zaelem slammed her door into the wall as he staggered in, making her jump. Immediately, the sour smell of alcohol overpowered the perfume she had just sprayed in her room.
Mejaine tried not to show her smile. Everything seemed to be going just the way she wanted. Kismette was engaged to Chairon now. Getting his mind fuzzy with beer was probably Lady Luck adding the final touches to her grand plan.
“So,” he mumbled, “still playing me like a jackass, aren’t you? Tell me what you want and I’ll tell you what I want. What do you want from me this time?”
Mejaine took in a deep breath and pinched herself hard on her arm. Tears sprang to her eyes in response. “No, Zaelem, things weren’t like that! I do love you, but the timing wasn’t right. You knew that coming here to do this was the dream of my life. My only regret was to leave you, Zel,” she whispered and edged nearer with a gentle hand placed lightly on his back. Establishing physical contact proved to be helpful most of the time.
Zaelem turned his head away, blocking out the sadness in her voice. “You don’t even believe that yourself.”
Mejaine launched her next wave of persuasion. “We were meant to be together… Please don’t do this to us,” she sniffed and clutched him closer. “I can’t live without you, Zel. I swear it’s true,” she whimpered, her voice at the edge of crying. “Walking away from you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Let’s go back to where we started. Don’t you think that will be great?” Her hands were now rubbing his shoulders.
“Back to where we started?” he repeated. The beer was raging a war with his mind. Mejaine looked up at him earnestly, looking almost as sweet as she used to.
Oh, memories. How sweet they always seem to be.
***
The wind brought a sweet, summer scent to his nose. Zaelem closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, enjoying the moment. Birthdays were always awesome. The girl he had been meeting in secret for three months now finally agreed to be his girlfriend and he promised to bring her to the capital for some sightseeing today.
He left the family backyard farm and went into the house, walking briskly to the front door in hopes of escaping his father’s awkward questions.
His father still caught him. “Where are you going, my second child? You are getting a little too old, you know. Do you have a girlfriend?” his father asked casually while flipping pancakes on the stove. Flames cackled and popped inside the wood-fed furnace.
“Huh? Er, I- I’m just going to the Square to… have a walk. I’ll be back by sunset, dad,” Zaelem replied and scratched the side of his head, uneasy whenever he told a lie.
His father raised both eyebrows and removed his pan from the stove while his younger brother shot him a cheeky wink, knowing that he was rushing off to meet a certain redhead. Zaelem simply smiled and waved goodbye before stepping out of the house.
He sprinted down the bumpy path towards the village signpost. It was their usual meeting spot. He took the shortcut through the Square, remembering the first time he saw her there. He fell for her the moment he saw her dance. She was indeed the finest dancer in the whole of Silveracre.
His girl was already waiting. “Happy twenty-third birthday, Zel. This is for you,” she said shyly, holding out the gift with her head bent, unable to meet his eyes. Zaelem grinned like a little kid and accepted the present. He leaned closer and sniffed her head of inflamed red.
“Oh, my little Jane, how did you manage to smell so sweet all the time?” he teased. The girl blushed and played with the ribbon in her hair instead.
Zaelem pulled her into a tender hug. “I’d love to smell your hair every morning when I wake up and see your lovely face sleeping beside me. Two more years, my little Jane, and you’ll be twenty one. Just give me two more years and I promise I’ll give you the most comfortable life you can ever have,” he whispered.
Mejaine smiled the sweetest smile he had ever seen. He could never stop being amazed by how her eyes sparkled like clear crystals. The entire world’s happiness must have been his at that very moment.
***
“Yes, back to where we started,” Mejaine whispered, grinning now.
Zaelem suddenly chuckled, seemingly still in his drunken stupor. Her eyes now chilled him to the bones.
The dancetress took his laughter as a good sign and leaned forward to kiss him, but her lips met his palm instead as he pushed her face away.
“Oh, but my heart has already made up its mind, Mistress Mejaine. You truely are shameless, aren’t you?” he laughed. “I may have drunk a little too much, but I know what I’m doing. I agreed to meet you only because I want-” he hiccupped, “-to end this formally. I hope to never see you again. So long.”
June 14th
Kismette
The night breeze was just nice: cooling, not cold. Zaelem cleared his throat before sitting on the old park bench. “Waiting for somebody?”
“Er, hi, no, I was just…” Kismette stammered for a while before giving up, flustered and uncomfortable. Speak of the devil… or rather, think of the devil… “How did you know I was here?”
He shrugged. “Guessed. I didn’t know I had to read about your engagement from the newspaper. We aren’t really friends, are we?”
“Of course we are. I just…” Again, her voice trailed off.
Zaelem pushed his tongue against his cheeks and waited. He seemed impatient. Or maybe uncomfortable too. She couldn’t decide which.
She took in a deep breath. “I don’t know. I feel so confused. Nothing seems right. Nobody forced me, but somehow… I… I don’t know,” she gave up again, her attempts ending with a sigh. She badly wished he would say something. She needed a trigger from him, an opening to start this discussion about how wrong marrying Chairon was-or maybe how right it actually was so she should be assured. She wished she could know the future so that she could make her choices confidently. She wished somebody could tell her something.
Her brainwaves didn’t reach him. “Maybe we can plot to push him off a cliff or something,” he muttered. His deep voice rumbled like distant thunder, reminding her of the whirlwind she was sucked in. He could only bring her to the eye of the storm, not out of it. This calm could only last for as long as he stayed.
“Oh please, why would I want to do that?” she mumbled back.
“So this is what you want? You want to marry Chairon?”
“No!” she exclaimed, before realising what she just said. “I mean, I don’t know what I want.”
“And you’re just going to play along? Are you a puppet?”
Kismette closed her eyes. How could she wriggle her way out of this mess? What will everyone think of her if she took her words back? She had always thought being famous was fun, but she never imagined how their judgment would impact her choices or the way she lived too. She looked up at him and bit her lips.
He shook his head and turned away. “You just like to please people.”
It took some time before his words registered in her brain. “What?”
“You’re a coward,” he answered, straightforward and cutting. “Remember when we were surrounded by Jaelon’s men in the forest that day I got shot? You have to get out of your comfort zone. You can’t just flow along and let people make decisions for you. Even if you don’t know what you want, you do at least know what you don’t want, right? Why go ahead with something you don’t want?”
She could not think of a way to reply him. She didn’t want to. She didn’t know how to explain why she felt compelled to do what others expected of her. She started fidgeting instead, her lower lip pushed out. Her restless fingers twirled her diamond ring round and round her third finger. It was her new toy.
“Kismette, look at me.”
When she did not respond, Zaelem turned her shoulders to face him and continued to hold her in this way. His tone was laced with sorrow, but his blue eyes were fierce in concentration as they met hers.
Softly and slowly, he said, “I need you to understand how much you mean to me, Kismette. You… you make my life worth living again. You make me feel alive like no one else could. Even in your tiny frame, you give me an amazing amount of strength. You are like the anchor that holds me stable and, I swear, your smile has this… this magic in it. I don’t know how else to describe it. You give me reason to keep my heart beating, did you know?”
He paused, partly to make sure she understood and partly to brace himself for the next bit of his monologue. “But I don’t know how you feel about me and I can’t even try to court you now. This conversation itself is inappropriate, atrociously inappropriate, simply because of your status. You have to do something before I can-if you want me to do something. Or at the very least give me the permission to do something. I’d gladly take another bullet for you.”
He wiped her cheek gently with his thumb and she flinched, surprised at herself. She swallowed the lump in her throat. Where did the tears come from?
The warrior took in a deep breath and stood up when she remained dumbstruck. “I’m afraid this is where I have to leave you. I don’t want to pressurise you into giving me an answer now,” he whispered, sounding a little disappointed. “I will wait, but no matter what, I hope you’ll be truly happy. Goodnight.”
Kismette listened to the faint sound of fallen leaves crunching under his shoes.
It never felt harder to breathe.
Ning: This chapter made me depressed. :( I didn’t realise I was scrunching up my forehead the whole time I typed that scene where Zaelem confessed.
I feel that the song “So Close” by Jon McLaughlin was very fitting for, well, them. Or maybe just from Zaelem’s perspective, haha. Listen to it on youtube! :)
So, if you guys still remember that little poll some of you kindly did for me, this update wasn't supposed to appear now mmkay. :P This is the 3rd chapter this holiday, so... yup, I'll be back to hiatus. :( I do intend to do a tour of Silveracre (Zaelem and Mejaine's village) and post Mejaine's 10 facts meme first though, as I've already got the pictures, just haven't edited. :)
Lastly, I'll be going for a trip to Krabi (Thailand) from 9 Jan to 12 Jan, so I most probably won't have time to reply comments. :)
Oh gosh, I almost forgot: Easter eggs! There are two eggs, one really obvious while the other pretty obvious, but there's a teeny bit of guessing to be done. The two eggs will be able to tell you something, haha. And it will be revealed in the Silveracre tour, so that narrows down your search a lot, eh? :D
Previous: Chapter 39
Next: Chapter 41