Update...
I guess lots of things have happened in the past few weeks. Some great and some just okay. The biggest thing I suppose and probably the best thing is that I left my job. I hated it. They knew I hated it and I got out.
Surprisingly enough, I'm making more money nannying than I was at that job and I'm much happier. My father apparently thinks I'm quite the disappointment though. I guess you'll have that sometimes.
In spite of the greatness of all this, I feel really alone right now. Most of my friends have been married recently and I feel like it is me against the world sometimes. I think I'm afraid of people. After Julia moved out, she said some pretty horrible things to me. I tried not to let it affect me, but it did. I just feel unworthy of people's friendships. It sucks. I've isolated so many people I care about in the past year or so. I guess I've made my bed and now must lie in it.
In the past two weeks, I've had the stomach flu and strep throat. Go me. I've read through all my old journals. It's funny how old flames die fast and how quickly they can be rekindled at times. I think sometimes that I'll never get over certain people. No matter how hard I try.
I've been out on a few dates. I'm in the middle of a love situation that I didn't ask for and don't want to be involved in. I'm pretty much killing one of my few remaining friendships because of it. I'm so damn self-destructive.
There have been serious faith issues lately too. Jake and I chatted some about it. Sometimes I'm glad to have him around at 2am to chat with. But then other days, he just drives me crazy. He is good people though. And I've probably been friends with him longer than most people I know.
I'm tired and rambling so I'm going to bed. Maybe I'll throw in actual specific funny events later to go with all the quotes going through my head.
Surprisingly enough, I'm making more money nannying than I was at that job and I'm much happier. My father apparently thinks I'm quite the disappointment though. I guess you'll have that sometimes.
In spite of the greatness of all this, I feel really alone right now. Most of my friends have been married recently and I feel like it is me against the world sometimes. I think I'm afraid of people. After Julia moved out, she said some pretty horrible things to me. I tried not to let it affect me, but it did. I just feel unworthy of people's friendships. It sucks. I've isolated so many people I care about in the past year or so. I guess I've made my bed and now must lie in it.
In the past two weeks, I've had the stomach flu and strep throat. Go me. I've read through all my old journals. It's funny how old flames die fast and how quickly they can be rekindled at times. I think sometimes that I'll never get over certain people. No matter how hard I try.
I've been out on a few dates. I'm in the middle of a love situation that I didn't ask for and don't want to be involved in. I'm pretty much killing one of my few remaining friendships because of it. I'm so damn self-destructive.
There have been serious faith issues lately too. Jake and I chatted some about it. Sometimes I'm glad to have him around at 2am to chat with. But then other days, he just drives me crazy. He is good people though. And I've probably been friends with him longer than most people I know.
I'm tired and rambling so I'm going to bed. Maybe I'll throw in actual specific funny events later to go with all the quotes going through my head.