keep quiet; nothing comes as easy as you
When Lily lies in Kathryn's bed, she imagines she is in the ocean. Well; okay. She'll attempt damage control. [Kathryn Prescott/Lily Loveless, Skins RPF, PG-13]
keep quiet; nothing comes as easy as you
It begins with Megan.
It’s always fucking Megan.
It begins with-
“Kathryn.”
“Hm?”
“You know-”
Megan breaks off.
Kat looks at her blankly.
“What?”
Megan exhales. Turns the page of the magazine in her hands.
“Nothing. Nevermind.”
---
When Lily lies in Kathryn’s bed, she imagines she is in the ocean.
The walls are shaded blue, like sapphires. Kathryn’s sheets alternate between azure and pale green, sea foam. Her pillows are covered white, the tips of waves at their climax.
Kathryn kisses her gently, quietly, well after the sun has gone down and the moon has reached its peak in the night sky; the stars swirl around her head in a blur of light, so fast it’s as if they’re exploding, creating constellations of dust and colour that settle against her lips. When Lily looks into Kathryn’s eyes she imagines she is drowning, watching the slow progression of rings dance around Saturn from underwater, twirling on their toes, bleeding in ballet slippers. She sleeps with Kathryn’s arms around her because she knows that Kat will pull her up and help her breathe again every time.
(You know, Lily says, I love you.
Yeah, Kathryn replies, I know.)
---
“So. Lily.”
There’s a pause. The volume is lowered on the rerun of Doctor Who.
“What?”
Megan coughs.
“Staying the night again?”
Lily swallows. Avoids Kathryn’s eyes.
“No,” she answers tersely. “I’m - about to leave.”
Megan doesn’t miss the flash of disappointment on Kathryn’s face, or the way she opens her mouth to protest but can’t form the words.
“Oh,” Kat says instead. “Okay.”
“You know,” Megan says, rolling her eyes, “you know, you’re both such fucking twats.”
Kathryn shoots her a glare.
Well; okay.
She’ll attempt damage control.
“Lily,” she tries again, “It’s - late. You should probably just stay. Otherwise Kat will - we’ll both be worrying about you, making the trek across London.”
“Yeah?” Lily says, meeting her gaze. She’s restraining a smile. “You’re right. It’s - late.”
“It’s late,” Kathryn agrees, and then there is silence.
Megan knows Lily would have taken any excuse offered to her, just to spend the day curled up with Kathryn, wrapping strands of bright red hair around her fingers and pressing stray kisses to the corners of her lips.
When Megan looks back at them, she sees their hands resting between them on the couch, Kathryn’s fingers curling into Lily’s palm.
---
Kathryn accidentally leaves the door cracked when they go to sleep that night.
Megan sees.
It’s not that Megan wants to look, and invade their privacy; it’s that she doesn’t have another option.
On her way to her room, she catches the light spilling into the hallway-
Her gaze automatically shifts when she passes by.
She sees:
…Well. She can’t really say it.
But she walks away smiling.
---
Kathryn.
Lily’s hand sweeps across her back, rubbing gently.
Hmm?
She’s almost asleep.
Megan knows. Lily’s voice is serious.
Kathryn’s eyes flutter open. Lily can feel the brush of Kathryn’s eyelashes against the skin of her neck. She sighs.
I know, Kathryn breathes out. But-
But?
That’s not important.
Lily’s hand stops moving. Her palm lays flat against the curve of Kathryn’s spine.
So, what is?
…Does it matter?
Does it-
Does it change anything?
Lily exhales, catching the scent of Kathryn’s hair, coconuts and sunflowers and sea salt.
No, she answers finally. It doesn’t change a thing.
---
(“Except,” Kathryn says later, grinning, “except, now we can snog in front of her, and not feel awkward about it.”
Lily laughs. Kathryn can feel the vibrations from Lily’s chest against her cheek.
It’s enough.)
---
In the morning, Megan ambles slowly downstairs for a cup of tea - or coffee - or a shot of vodka; anything that will wake her the fuck up.
She pauses before the last step.
She can hear murmuring in the kitchen.
She stretches her neck, peaking in-
There’s Kathryn, leaning against the sink, a steaming mug in her hands.
And then she catches the back of a bright blonde head, hears the clink of the mug against the counter as it is set down, and Lily’s tinkling laugh-
Kathryn kisses her.
Megan accidentally knocks her elbow on the banister.
Lily breaks away, turning her head at the sound of the noise.
There’s a tense silence when she realizes what Megan’s just seen.
“We were just-” She begins, but Megan holds up her hand.
“Don’t try to explain it,” she says gently. “It’s just the way things are.”
Lily hovers on the edge of uncertainty for another moment, clearly deliberating, worrying her lower lip between her teeth.
“It’s just the way things are,” she echoes at last, and her fingers find the inside of Kathryn’s wrist between them, fluttering on the pulse there.