Benjamin Franklin Under the Influence of Syrup
The age-old question-Friendships have been destroyed by it and many a great philosopher have lived under its weight. No one will ever be sure what came first: the invention of plaid or the invention of human beings. They say you can tell a lot about a person by which one they believe. People that believe human beings came first tend to be rational, value intelligence, and have legs. And people that believe plaid came first tend to be the writer of this entry.
But there is one thing that the world never contests: when two get together the result is absolutely beautiful. Throw in a beard, suspenders, and a chopping devise and you’ve got yourself something worthy of taking that “stained-glass window making class” you’ve been eyeing.
Lumberjacks were once more common than blades of grass. You couldn’t walk into a room without at least 20 or 30 lumberjacks already waiting for you no matter how tightly you locked your windows and doors. Lumberjacks shaped this great country of ours (or that mediocre country of yours). They got rid of those pesky trees making it so much easier to run screaming from bears in a straight line or moonwalk to the top of a mountain.
In fact, all of our founding fathers were lumberjacks. You think it’s coincidence that George Washington chopped down that tree or had wooden teeth? That it’s just an odd stroke of luck that Benjamin Franklin wanted our national bird to be the pancake? No coincidence at all!
In honor of these brave men, women, and oxen we're once again celebrating Lumberjack Day only this year Marianne and I are writing a mini comic (though this "mini" is winding up becoming a "middle-size-y" at like 50+ pages!) A whole bunch of artist friends have been drawing super fun things for a book about the proper care, feeding, recognition of lumberjacks as well as what to do if you think you yourself may be a lumberjack.
It also explains the difference between Hipsters and Lumberjacks since it is really hard to tell nowadays and lord knows if you ASK a Hipster if they are a Lumberjack they will simply lie and say they are. I always figured there weren't that many trees in McCarren park because of all the lumberjacks around. I was wrong.
The books will debut at SPX with fancy "pat the bunny" style covers only you get to pat a beard instead. The art is so so amazing to the point I can't even describe a single piece without giggling for like ten minutes first. Yay for collaborations!
Which reminds me SPX!!! FRIGGIN! SPX!!!!!!! YAY! I'm a little excited. Can you tell?
I've got crazy amounts of energy right now since i am riding the wave of finishing the first draft of a Young Adult graphic novel this past Sunday. I was working on it almost every night for the last three months with occasional breaks to watch 17 straight hours of VERONICA MARS, like you do. 300 and 10 friggin pages! It's the longest thing I've ever written and while you shouldn't judge a book by the width of its spine you should judge a book by how pretty it's spine is! Oooooh spot arrrrt. Truth be told I go back and forth between thinking I wrote something great to thinking I might have accidentally written 300 pages of "All Work and No Play Makes Colleen Write Bad YA". Hopefully no matter which one is true it'll find a home with an editor who will a) make me make it awesome or b) make it into a movie starring Jack Nicholson.
I'm already at work on a new project, which is secretly set in Walden, NY the super white trash and completely lovable village I grew up in. (Though maybe I'll call it Balden, NY so no one will figure it out). It's lovingly referred to by me and Sir Barry, my "shows books to people who might want to make books" guy* as "the boob book". I won't give away anything else other than the fact it's not a graphic novel (gasp!) and it's a funny book for teens.
*i still have trouble saying the word "agent", feels almost as weird as calling myself a "grownup"
Things I Must Do!
1-Revamp website: Holy crap do I need to tidy that thing up! I think I made it in 1974.
2-Start posting radio shows! I keep recording them and then i listen to them over and over, forgetting to post them so other people can listen to them over and over. #1 is the reason I haven't done #2. I can promise you that these are so worth it!
3-Pass gas: all of the happiness inside must be taking up too much room!
In other news I've been trying to woo the Robots so when they take over they'll be all "Naw man, she's cool, don't laser-ize Colleen". Part of my efforts include taking my Grandma's Roomba off her hands. Meet "DOOMba!" (thanks to Eric C for the name!)
Oh well, so much for THAT robot liking me. Maybe Annie-Bot will save me when the time comes.
"What? The call is coming FROM INSIDE OF MY HEAD?!?!?!"