WHITE COLLAR KINK MEME ROUND 4

[kinkcollar]

THE RULES - Please read them.

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FILL: Breathing Space (part 3)

[anonymous]

Twenty minutes later, Peter saunters over to where Neal is sitting in the back of the ambulance, fumbling the band aid that covers the puncture mark in the crook of his arm where they injected the Ativan.

"Hey buddy," Peter greets him, the tone of his voice not belying the concern rooted in it. "Feeling better?"

Neal's regained most of his composure, and some of his dignity. "Much."

"Are they taking you?"

"No, don't think they are."

"Hey, listen..." Peter starts, and Neal almost wants to shush him right there. He doesn't.

Peter continues, his voice uncharacteristically low, gentle. "Neal, I'm sorry. I didn't know you... you had issues with small rooms. If I'd known, I would have-"

"It's okay," Neal interrupts him. "I thought I could ride it out."

Peter's voice is filled with regret, with guilt. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Would you have listened?"

Peter ponders this for a moment. He decides to be honest. "No, probably not."

The smile on Neal's face is almost apologetic, with a hint of lightheartedness that seems out of place. "And you're still asking me why?"

"Neal, I..." Peter starts, and it's obvious he wants to trust Neal, wants to hold out his hand and be assured that it's not going to be cut off at the wrist when he does. "I really want to believe you. You know that, right?"

"But...?" The silence stretches out for a beat.

"You know why there is a 'but'."

Neal does, and his face falls. He drops the mask of pretense and playfulness. "Yeah," he just sighs.

That is all they say on the matter, and that is all they can say-and will say.

In both their minds, there is a voice that whispers, "You need to do more, you need to be better at this." And that's what they both want to keep reminding themselves of, but will forget again the next time they dance their well-choreographed dance.

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THE END.

Re: FILL: Breathing Space (part 3)

[anonymous]

This was great. I like your description of his panic attack - I felt like I was experiencing it with him. Very well done.

Re: FILL: Breathing Space (part 3)

[anonymous]

OP here :D !!! It's a beautiful morning and there is so much love for this fic in me :P I totally agree with my fellow anon, the panic attack description is perfect, you can feel your very own panic attack just creeping up your spine. But the best part is Peter's initial reaction, he finds Neal in distress and he still doesn't believe him *sigh* Well-deserved guilt trip for Peter :D

Brava! *hugs*

Re: FILL: Breathing Space (part 3)

[anonymous]

This is excellent! Thanks!

Re: FILL: Breathing Space (part 3)

[shadowfireflame]

This was a really great fill! I loved the ending especially, the fact that there's always a "but..."

Re: FILL: Breathing Space (part 3)

[anonymous]

Of course, now Neal didn't get the painting switched out, so he might well be heading back to a small room in prison!