tell me
so i'm looking for all and any advice on something. i dont give a shit who you are, i'm just looking for some hope in the world.
so yeah, i'm in Paris. fuck the Parisian girls though, everyone knows there's nothing quite like an american girl.
so i meet her monday. i could see her staring at me from another group of people. i ended sitting by her at the bar that night and we talked a bit. but really, not a whole lot, because you know, we all had our friends there. but really, it's the catching each others eyes through our glasses while sitting across from each other. and just knowing that that there is something in those eyes.
never got her number, but found her on facebook and friended her saying i should have and that facebook would have to do for now.
so she accepted about a half an hour after i asked and then wrote on my wall some cute message. so that was good.
then on wednesday, i saw her again, and as we were in a big group, she came over to me to say hello and then we started talking more through out the night, and touching too, nothing sexual, just letting each other know that the other was there.
she of course told me she was going off with her friend to flirt with french guys, and i figured this was all just part of the ridiculous game we had to play.
we ended the night, both fairly drunk, walking hand in hand to the metro. we flirted across the platforms until our trains came, and she was all smiles.
now, thursday, my friend who took the same train home as her and this other girl, said this other girl asked her "is that your new lover or something" and apparently she said no, he was too pushy and he didn't talk to me enough.
And I was just floored. I've never wanted a girl more. Like I've fallen head over heels for her.
It's not exactly as if she was trying to get away from me the entire night. I felt everything was completley mutual. its not exactly as if she was trying to free herself from my hand. it's not exactly as if she was trying to stop talking to me before our trains came. It's not exactly as if she wasn't smiling the whole time.
We were flirty, I am sure of that. We got closer that night, i am sure of that.
But then i hear this, and I just refuse to believe it.
SOMEONE TELL ME THIS: WHY WOULD SHE ACT LIKE SHE WAS HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME, AND THEN TURN AROUND AND SAY THAT SHE DIDNT LIKE ME?
couldn't it possibly be that maybe she wanted to not make too big a deal out of it? like no one wants to be caught liking someone that doesnt like them back. couldnt it be that she just wasnt sure and she didnt want everything being spread around. how about this: who could picture themselves saying : "yes that is my new lover, i love him more than life. this night was amazing. i know it was for him too. no one would ever say that!! so then maybe her negative has to be taken with a grain of salt.
there's two thing's I know,
1. She was definitely not trying to free herself when she was near me. It was mutual. Sure, I initiated it, but that's my job.
2. She never told me anything to make me think that it wasn't going in a good direction for her. In fact, quite the contrary. She told me, upon me finding out that she's never had sex, that she was worried I would get wierded out.
So, my friends tell me not to talk to her again, no call or text. I can't do that. I just feel like this girl was supposed to be a very important part of my life. Like I dont feel she's someone I'd marry. But she feels like someone I'm supposed to spend five years with. She feels like someone I'm supposed to know.
Should I really give up on a girl that I've liked like never before, simply because of something she reportedly said while drunk? I mean, it's far easier to control your words than actions when you're drunk, in my experience, right? I mean I remember lying when really drunk, but yet never can i remember stopping myself from doing something i've wanted to do. So maybe her actions are better reflections than her words?
What's more, I was sure SURE this girl liked me. And so, if I just take that she didnt, that all the signals I got from her were wrong, then that means I have no clue how to do this. That i'm incapable of figuring out when someone likes me. And I don't want to tell myself that yet. That means it's over.
Don't I owe it to myself to get my signal directly from her that she doesn't like me? I think maybe I should pretend like I never heard this. she didnt tell it to me, or my friend.
what about this: maybe i'll just slow it down, maybe instead of contacting her two days after, I'll wait three? And maybe I wont call her, maybe I'll just text her. And then if I don't hear from her, that will be her signal to me that she wants nothing more?
But is there really a reason i shouldn't try? I mean I've never felt happier thinking that this girl actually liked me. I think that's reason enough to ignore whatever she didnt say to me. I mean. It's not like she wasn't enjoying herself.
I need hope, because I've never done one like this before.
so yeah, i'm in Paris. fuck the Parisian girls though, everyone knows there's nothing quite like an american girl.
so i meet her monday. i could see her staring at me from another group of people. i ended sitting by her at the bar that night and we talked a bit. but really, not a whole lot, because you know, we all had our friends there. but really, it's the catching each others eyes through our glasses while sitting across from each other. and just knowing that that there is something in those eyes.
never got her number, but found her on facebook and friended her saying i should have and that facebook would have to do for now.
so she accepted about a half an hour after i asked and then wrote on my wall some cute message. so that was good.
then on wednesday, i saw her again, and as we were in a big group, she came over to me to say hello and then we started talking more through out the night, and touching too, nothing sexual, just letting each other know that the other was there.
she of course told me she was going off with her friend to flirt with french guys, and i figured this was all just part of the ridiculous game we had to play.
we ended the night, both fairly drunk, walking hand in hand to the metro. we flirted across the platforms until our trains came, and she was all smiles.
now, thursday, my friend who took the same train home as her and this other girl, said this other girl asked her "is that your new lover or something" and apparently she said no, he was too pushy and he didn't talk to me enough.
And I was just floored. I've never wanted a girl more. Like I've fallen head over heels for her.
It's not exactly as if she was trying to get away from me the entire night. I felt everything was completley mutual. its not exactly as if she was trying to free herself from my hand. it's not exactly as if she was trying to stop talking to me before our trains came. It's not exactly as if she wasn't smiling the whole time.
We were flirty, I am sure of that. We got closer that night, i am sure of that.
But then i hear this, and I just refuse to believe it.
SOMEONE TELL ME THIS: WHY WOULD SHE ACT LIKE SHE WAS HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME, AND THEN TURN AROUND AND SAY THAT SHE DIDNT LIKE ME?
couldn't it possibly be that maybe she wanted to not make too big a deal out of it? like no one wants to be caught liking someone that doesnt like them back. couldnt it be that she just wasnt sure and she didnt want everything being spread around. how about this: who could picture themselves saying : "yes that is my new lover, i love him more than life. this night was amazing. i know it was for him too. no one would ever say that!! so then maybe her negative has to be taken with a grain of salt.
there's two thing's I know,
1. She was definitely not trying to free herself when she was near me. It was mutual. Sure, I initiated it, but that's my job.
2. She never told me anything to make me think that it wasn't going in a good direction for her. In fact, quite the contrary. She told me, upon me finding out that she's never had sex, that she was worried I would get wierded out.
So, my friends tell me not to talk to her again, no call or text. I can't do that. I just feel like this girl was supposed to be a very important part of my life. Like I dont feel she's someone I'd marry. But she feels like someone I'm supposed to spend five years with. She feels like someone I'm supposed to know.
Should I really give up on a girl that I've liked like never before, simply because of something she reportedly said while drunk? I mean, it's far easier to control your words than actions when you're drunk, in my experience, right? I mean I remember lying when really drunk, but yet never can i remember stopping myself from doing something i've wanted to do. So maybe her actions are better reflections than her words?
What's more, I was sure SURE this girl liked me. And so, if I just take that she didnt, that all the signals I got from her were wrong, then that means I have no clue how to do this. That i'm incapable of figuring out when someone likes me. And I don't want to tell myself that yet. That means it's over.
Don't I owe it to myself to get my signal directly from her that she doesn't like me? I think maybe I should pretend like I never heard this. she didnt tell it to me, or my friend.
what about this: maybe i'll just slow it down, maybe instead of contacting her two days after, I'll wait three? And maybe I wont call her, maybe I'll just text her. And then if I don't hear from her, that will be her signal to me that she wants nothing more?
But is there really a reason i shouldn't try? I mean I've never felt happier thinking that this girl actually liked me. I think that's reason enough to ignore whatever she didnt say to me. I mean. It's not like she wasn't enjoying herself.
I need hope, because I've never done one like this before.