(no subject)
So, yea. Things blow nothing goes good. I fight all the time and I cry when noone looks. I'm just a whiney brat though. I was incrediably happy for a little while but I never told anyone until it was too late. I know I can't get what I want right now but I'm afraid that if I don't get it right now I'll never get anything. I did however make a promise to Daniel that I am going to try harder to not be so self-abusive emoitonally and mentally. I told him that if I do that then he has to be there to hold me for a little while. That part of me that hurts me before you do is also the part that keeps me from just becoming a strange little ball of over emotional weak spirited girl. I'm worried about how I'll end up. I'm worried about my ability to commit to this whole heartedly without making a bigger hole on my insides. I love him very much and I know he's always there for me when I need him. Maybe not at first but when he's at his set to listen and open up to my words and become Daniel and not just Dan or D, but even Dan now does anything and everything in his power to do all that he can for me and make sure that I'm ok. He knows though that I do all that I can in my power to do everything I can for him. All day every day I am there for him and he's there for me. It's a good feeling to actually notice when a guy is there for you 100%. I love my punkin and he knows I got him for whatever I can do. If I can't get it for him I will find someone who can. Things overall are going great. I have no money, I just went through one of the biggest upsets of my life, my car is going to shit cuz I'm broke, but I have never been happier. Maybe I made the right decision this time. I love you baby.