RIP Tall Boy
...when it rains, it pours.
today, i heard from christie, who heard from another co-worker/friend of ours, who heard from another former co-worker of ours (yes, The Row is STILL that connected in that its peeps will always be keeping others of us in the loop) that one of our boys died over the summer in a restraint. the story goes that they put him down in a restraint, it's just that he never got back up when they decided they were done.
now, i just mentioned about a month ago hearing about another special needs kid i knew dying at a placement... but what made me pause and very seriously swallow a lump was that he was one of "ours." i mean... i don't even really have the words for it...
let's put it this way: he was very tall, liked Disney videos, and was known for fleeing into the nearby college town. he was a kid who i told a story about, one of my Particularly Bad Days: the one where i was slapped across the face so hard my sunglasses flew down the hallway. he was a kid i very honestly didn't really like at all... but of course i feel like an asshole saying that now, hearing the news i heard today.
and then, i am angry. it doesn't even take a split-second for me to wonder, "how did those people who put him down not realize the difference between a struggle ending and a LIFE ending?" for those of us who knew this boy, we knew what he was like when he was out of control, and thus it was fairly obvious to know when he was done being out of control. and then there's the obvious, or at least seemingly obvious, difference between a calming down and a DYING.
i'm honestly so shocked i'm confused. there are so many "...but why didn't they...?"s and none of them matter for a second because it's done. he's done. cruelly and cynically, i'm betting that the bottom line was they were not only understaffed but underprepared to deal with him, and when it went down as it did, well, they just wanted him to go down, period. and he did.
now, i'm not the praying sort, but i am the thinking sort. tonight, i'm thinking of you, Tall Boy. even though you and i didn't get along, you certainly didn't deserve to die, and especially the way you did. i'm thinking, also, about the rest of Our Kids, and hoping they're all ok somewhere out there...
today, i heard from christie, who heard from another co-worker/friend of ours, who heard from another former co-worker of ours (yes, The Row is STILL that connected in that its peeps will always be keeping others of us in the loop) that one of our boys died over the summer in a restraint. the story goes that they put him down in a restraint, it's just that he never got back up when they decided they were done.
now, i just mentioned about a month ago hearing about another special needs kid i knew dying at a placement... but what made me pause and very seriously swallow a lump was that he was one of "ours." i mean... i don't even really have the words for it...
let's put it this way: he was very tall, liked Disney videos, and was known for fleeing into the nearby college town. he was a kid who i told a story about, one of my Particularly Bad Days: the one where i was slapped across the face so hard my sunglasses flew down the hallway. he was a kid i very honestly didn't really like at all... but of course i feel like an asshole saying that now, hearing the news i heard today.
and then, i am angry. it doesn't even take a split-second for me to wonder, "how did those people who put him down not realize the difference between a struggle ending and a LIFE ending?" for those of us who knew this boy, we knew what he was like when he was out of control, and thus it was fairly obvious to know when he was done being out of control. and then there's the obvious, or at least seemingly obvious, difference between a calming down and a DYING.
i'm honestly so shocked i'm confused. there are so many "...but why didn't they...?"s and none of them matter for a second because it's done. he's done. cruelly and cynically, i'm betting that the bottom line was they were not only understaffed but underprepared to deal with him, and when it went down as it did, well, they just wanted him to go down, period. and he did.
now, i'm not the praying sort, but i am the thinking sort. tonight, i'm thinking of you, Tall Boy. even though you and i didn't get along, you certainly didn't deserve to die, and especially the way you did. i'm thinking, also, about the rest of Our Kids, and hoping they're all ok somewhere out there...