holy smokes!

[cole_geeks]

wow its been hella long since i updated this damn thing hahaha..where to start where to start..hmm, well lets see begining of the month we can start from there but yea i got with someone and we kept it on the downlow for some reasons but yea then almost around xmas we broke up cause of me as always i seem to be the fuck up in relationships..i let the littlest thing break us apart but eh some of it was her to telling me she wanted me one day all day and then gets on some other dudes nuts? i mean wth is that shit but eh i dont let no one know how i feel cause of how i was done before and it always happens to me. got a job and work at wally world.. i dont work much cause of my dieases but yea i gotta get some cash somewhere hahaha..but yea life sucks in all general lost someone i love and care for alot more then anyone else on here and ha i spent 2 years with someoen but thye dont even compare to this girl she was the best but life goes on and i gota be strong and let her be happy thats what i want most is for me ot know shes gonna have a smile on her face when she goes to bed even tho it isnt me..hmm what else
oh today i went to the hospital cause of shit that happen at work
i was lift some shit and my back went out and a few shit fell on top of me and i thought i broke my arm and hand but i unno yet kinda left the hospital way before i was told to but i think ill be ok got some pain pills thos i could o'd on them if i want to go ahead and end it which in honest truth i have thought bout it alot lately...ive tried to talk to other girls to keep my mine off her but little things, songs,pics,memories,thoughts just bring me running back ot her but eh maybe one day ill be strong enoughfor non of it to effect me but thats all i gotta say so yea have fun reading my bullshit