Another year, another life.
What is it with me and lapses of writing. What is it with me and lapses of judgment? Only I can take 12 months and completely change my entire life, and still be just as miserable as I was when I had started. I take that back, I don't think its quite possible for me to feel miserable with anyone the way had felt last year at this time with John.
Harsh, I know. I think shortly after I had written that last entry, it was over. I finally said enough was enough. It was a painful, "lemon juice in a papercut", breakup. He tried and tried to get me back, but the release and relief I felt when I said it was over was probably the best feeling I had in a long long time. The worst part for me was the shame I had felt at failure. Here's me again, failing at another relationship.
Where does that leave me now? Well after a few lame attempts at dating around, I met someone new. I of course acting irrationally I moved in with him shortly thereafter. I'm still here with him, but question my logic on a daily basis. On the one hand, i'm in a house, have freedom, have a guy who doesn't really care what I do. On the other hand, I have a guy who doesn't really care what I do. When he does care, its like hanging out with a 13 year old.
Why do I always feel like I'm babysitting in relationships?
I attempted to form some intelligent friendships with my male coworkers. I mean, they are all successful lawyers, they're smart, fun loving, and have the ability to be serious. People like me but of the male form. But with all recent events, they have the mentality, again, of 13 year olds.
So that leaves me here, again, reflecting. My current boyfriend is out downing shots at a party with a throng of sluts, and I'm here alone wishing I could just have a million dollars to free myself from my financial jail I've put myself into.
The only thing good in my life I can think of is that I've applied to school. I suppose I won't get my hopes up though, its really a long shot.
I could really use a reason to open the gewurtzraminer.
Harsh, I know. I think shortly after I had written that last entry, it was over. I finally said enough was enough. It was a painful, "lemon juice in a papercut", breakup. He tried and tried to get me back, but the release and relief I felt when I said it was over was probably the best feeling I had in a long long time. The worst part for me was the shame I had felt at failure. Here's me again, failing at another relationship.
Where does that leave me now? Well after a few lame attempts at dating around, I met someone new. I of course acting irrationally I moved in with him shortly thereafter. I'm still here with him, but question my logic on a daily basis. On the one hand, i'm in a house, have freedom, have a guy who doesn't really care what I do. On the other hand, I have a guy who doesn't really care what I do. When he does care, its like hanging out with a 13 year old.
Why do I always feel like I'm babysitting in relationships?
I attempted to form some intelligent friendships with my male coworkers. I mean, they are all successful lawyers, they're smart, fun loving, and have the ability to be serious. People like me but of the male form. But with all recent events, they have the mentality, again, of 13 year olds.
So that leaves me here, again, reflecting. My current boyfriend is out downing shots at a party with a throng of sluts, and I'm here alone wishing I could just have a million dollars to free myself from my financial jail I've put myself into.
The only thing good in my life I can think of is that I've applied to school. I suppose I won't get my hopes up though, its really a long shot.
I could really use a reason to open the gewurtzraminer.